I don't care if they did call you Larry Poppins. You are completely unfit to handle a...
Something wrong with the clip?
Quote
Jack Byrnes:
I don't care if they did call you Larry Poppins. You are completely unfit to handle a child.
Greg Focker:
It was Barry Poppins.
Jack Byrnes:
What kind of sick cocktail were you going to make my grandson?
Roz Focker:
Jack, the baby's teething. I told Greg to give him some rum to ease the pain.
Jack Byrnes:
It was your idea?
Roz Focker:
Yes.
Jack Byrnes:
What is wrong with you people?
Bernie Focker:
You people?
Dina Byrnes:
I used to rub bourbon on Denny's gums.
Jack Byrnes:
Yeah! Look what happened to him. Greg, you couldn't follow a simple set of instructions?
Greg Focker:
Jack. he was screaming. So I went in and I gave him a little attention. Okay?
Jack Byrnes:
He's learning to self-soothe. These setbacks are disastrous for his devlopment.
Roz Focker:
The child is adorable, but you're not raising Little Buddha over here.
Greg Focker:
Mom.
Jack Byrnes:
What are you saying?
Roz Focker:
I'm saying that I have seen that kid eat at least 15 boogers since he's been here and and I've got news for you, Jack, prodigies don't eat there own boogers.
Jack Byrnes:
And I've got news for you. Prodigies don't come in 10th place every time either.
Pam Byrnes:
Okay, Dad. That's my fiance.
Jack Byrnes:
I'm sorry. It's just that I've never seen people celebrate mediocrity the way you do.
Roz Focker:
Because we love our son? We hug our son? Let's get down to it. The truth is, you're so concerned about that Little Jack, but I think that it's the Little Jack in you that is crying out for a hug.
Jack Byrnes:
The Little Jack in me?
[Greg is getting extremely frusrated]
Roz Focker:
Jack, you have issues. I'm trying to understand why you run around with a rubber boob strapped to your chest. I mean, were you ever breastfed? My guess is no.
Jack Byrnes:
Will you spare my the drugstore pyschology.
Greg Focker:
[everyone starts arguing]
Everybody! All right. Everybody just... Everybody just STOP, okay?
[everyone is quiet]
Greg Focker:
Jack, I am not going to make any excuses. Yes, Little Jack wouldn't stop crying so I gave him some hugs and I let him watch TV. I went to answer the phone, I was gone for a second, I came back, he let himself out of the playpen, he put on Scarface, and he glued his hands to the rum bottle. Okay? That's it.
Transcript
00:00:01.095 --> 00:00:02.687
Man, we're gonna
have a grandchild.
00:00:02.763 --> 00:00:04.321
Come on,
we should be celebrating.
00:00:04.398 --> 00:00:05.922
How could you not see it?
00:00:06.000 --> 00:00:08.332
Greg is completely unfit
to handle a child.
00:00:08.402 --> 00:00:10.562
He's neglected his own son
for 15 years.
00:00:10.637 --> 00:00:12.366
Hey, Jack, I didn't even know
he existed.
00:00:12.439 --> 00:00:13.463
That's right.
00:00:13.054 --> 00:00:15.997
Who knows what to believe
with you?
00:00:15.999 --> 00:00:16.508
You're dishonest
about everything.
00:00:16.576 --> 00:00:19.409
You're so much better, Jack?
Why don't you tell everybody
00:00:19.479 --> 00:00:21.413
what you did last night
to Greg at the party.
00:00:21.481 --> 00:00:22.539
Muskrat, Dina.
00:00:22.615 --> 00:00:24.048
Oh, stuff your muskrat, Jack.
00:00:24.984 --> 00:00:28.181
He shot Greg with truth serum
before his speech.
00:00:28.254 --> 00:00:29.346
What?
00:00:29.422 --> 00:00:31.999
Yeah,
I found this in his pocket.
00:00:31.124 --> 00:00:32.681
Here we go again, Dad.
00:00:32.758 --> 00:00:35.659
He did the same thing
to Pam's junior prom date.
00:00:35.728 --> 00:00:37.389
Wait a minute.
Yes, yes. Wait a minute.
00:00:37.463 --> 00:00:38.691
You stuck a needle in my neck.
00:00:38.764 --> 00:00:40.322
You drugged my son?
00:00:40.566 --> 00:00:43.228
I had no choice.
He refuses to tell the truth.
00:00:43.302 --> 00:00:44.564
Because he's terrified,
00:00:44.636 --> 00:00:46.016
and he thinks
he has to impress you.
00:00:46.238 --> 00:00:47.796
He's had us
trying to impress you,
00:00:47.873 --> 00:00:48.897
but in my opinion,
00:00:48.974 --> 00:00:50.236
Jack, I think it's you
00:00:50.309 --> 00:00:51.776
who should be
trying to impress us.
00:00:51.844 --> 00:00:53.243
Jack.
00:00:53.312 --> 00:00:55.472
You've insulted me,
my wife, my son,
00:00:55.546 --> 00:00:57.001
our entire way of life.
00:00:57.115 --> 00:00:59.174
I've sat back and taken it.
But now,
00:00:59.025 --> 00:01:00.911
you've crossed the line, sir.
00:01:00.985 --> 00:01:03.003
And I'm gonna have
to kick your ass.
00:01:03.154 --> 00:01:04.712
Dad, dad, wait a second.
00:01:04.789 --> 00:01:07.917
I'm gonna teach this florist
some justice, Focker-style.
00:01:07.992 --> 00:01:09.254
Just calm down.
00:01:09.327 --> 00:01:10.999
Just give me
a minute to stretch.
00:01:10.762 --> 00:01:12.491
Bernie, you're
gonna hurt yourself.
00:01:12.563 --> 00:01:14.036
We can talk this through.
00:01:14.432 --> 00:01:15.831
It's too late for words,
Rosalind.
00:01:15.001 --> 00:01:17.161
Dad, Dad, no, no,
00:01:17.999 --> 00:01:18.633
please,
no dance fighting. Stop!
00:01:18.702 --> 00:01:19.896
This is Capoeira, man.
00:01:19.097 --> 00:01:21.004
This is hardcore shit.
00:01:21.001 --> 00:01:23.998
Bernard, if you continue,
00:01:23.173 --> 00:01:24.697
you will force me to engage you.
00:01:24.001 --> 00:01:26.999
And once I begin
the sequence of combat,
00:01:26.676 --> 00:01:28.371
it can only end
with your demise.
00:01:28.999 --> 00:01:31.001
Bring it, dog. Come on.
Bring it. Come on.
00:01:31.114 --> 00:01:32.172
He's taunting me.
00:01:32.249 --> 00:01:33.375
Dad.
00:01:33.045 --> 00:01:34.999
Greg! Greg!
00:01:34.518 --> 00:01:36.349
What, Bernie,
you're gonna snap now?
00:01:36.953 --> 00:01:38.002
Greg!
00:01:38.121 --> 00:01:39.997
What?
00:01:40.556 --> 00:01:42.285
Now look what you did.
00:01:42.358 --> 00:01:43.825
It's your fault.
00:01:43.893 --> 00:01:45.383
He's bleeding.
He's bleeding, Daddy.
00:01:45.461 --> 00:01:47.994
That's it. Pam, Dina,
00:01:47.163 --> 00:01:48.001
I'm calling a family conference.
00:01:48.999 --> 00:01:49.999
Come on.
00:01:49.765 --> 00:01:50.925
No, Dad, this is the family.
00:01:51.000 --> 00:01:53.366
All right? In a few weeks,
I'm not gonna be Pam Byrnes.
00:01:53.001 --> 00:01:54.801
I'm gonna be Pamela Focker.
00:01:54.087 --> 00:01:56.001
Or Byrnes-Focker.
00:01:56.205 --> 00:01:57.001
We haven't totally decided yet.
00:01:57.506 --> 00:01:59.999
No, no, no, I'm gonna be
Pamela Martha Focker.
00:01:59.001 --> 00:02:01.265
I know how that sounds,
00:02:01.343 --> 00:02:02.999
but... but that's
the name I'm taking.
00:02:02.911 --> 00:02:04.742
Pamcake, you're upset.
I'm not so sure
00:02:04.813 --> 00:02:06.044
you're thinking
clearly right now.
00:02:06.514 --> 00:02:07.503
I'm trying, Dad.
00:02:07.999 --> 00:02:09.999
It's you who
is not thinking clearly.
00:02:09.001 --> 00:02:11.208
These two kids
love each other. Look.
00:02:11.286 --> 00:02:14.517
We've been kvelling about
this pregnancy all weekend.
00:02:14.999 --> 00:02:16.001
You knew she was pregnant?
00:02:16.858 --> 00:02:18.001
We all did, Jack.
00:02:20.999 --> 00:02:23.999
Daddy, I was gonna tell you
after the wedding, I swear.
00:02:25.001 --> 00:02:28.006
This is the reason I created
the circle of trust
00:02:28.101 --> 00:02:30.999
so we could
discuss these things.
00:02:30.804 --> 00:02:32.999
The circle isn't gonna work
00:02:32.339 --> 00:02:34.899
if you don't trust
anyone that's in it, Dad.
00:02:41.001 --> 00:02:42.673
Dad.
00:02:42.749 --> 00:02:43.999
Jack, don't.
00:02:43.999 --> 00:02:46.114
No, Dad.
Daddy.
00:02:46.001 --> 00:02:47.001
Honey.
00:02:47.999 --> 00:02:49.999
Daddy, please.
Daddy, where are you going?
00:02:49.999 --> 00:02:50.001
Jack. Come on.
00:02:55.999 --> 00:02:58.999
Daddy, come back, please.
00:03:04.001 --> 00:03:06.803
This is nicht gut.
00:03:22.999 --> 00:03:23.001
Is it ringing?
00:03:23.001 --> 00:03:24.078
There's no answer.
00:03:24.999 --> 00:03:26.001
Well, let's give him some space.
00:03:26.001 --> 00:03:28.007
Maybe he's learning
to self-soothe.
00:03:28.126 --> 00:03:29.423
Roz.
What?
00:03:29.494 --> 00:03:31.999
This is crazy. I'm going.
00:03:31.001 --> 00:03:32.001
I'm coming with you, Son.
00:03:32.429 --> 00:03:33.001
No, Dad, I can do it myself.
00:03:33.631 --> 00:03:35.428
We gotta make up time.
I know these roads
00:03:35.499 --> 00:03:37.364
like the back of my hand.
00:03:38.001 --> 00:03:41.297
Come on, let's put
this family back together.
00:03:42.172 --> 00:03:44.333
Dad, I know a shortcut.
00:03:44.999 --> 00:03:46.535
It will lead us to the freeway.
00:03:47.999 --> 00:03:50.999
I think you make
a right up here or a left.
00:03:50.999 --> 00:03:52.001
It's either one or the other.
00:03:52.001 --> 00:03:54.239
You don't know
where we are, do you?
00:03:54.001 --> 00:03:55.648
You know,
something's wrong here.
00:03:55.999 --> 00:03:57.986
This makes no sense at all.
00:03:57.013 --> 00:03:58.001
Dad, it's a map of Detroit.
00:03:58.001 --> 00:04:00.001
Oh, well, that explains it.
00:04:00.069 --> 00:04:01.816
Dad.
00:04:01.999 --> 00:04:02.983
Punch it, Gay.
00:04:03.997 --> 00:04:04.185
We gotta catch that dude.
00:04:08.131 --> 00:04:09.999
Oh, shit.
00:04:09.999 --> 00:04:10.001
Come on.
Come on. Keep going.
00:04:10.767 --> 00:04:13.998
Dad, come on, it's a cop.
00:04:13.136 --> 00:04:15.001
Listen carefully.
Let me do the talking.
00:04:15.471 --> 00:04:17.267
I know how to handle
the local cops.
00:04:17.339 --> 00:04:18.002
No, don't... don't
do any talking.
00:04:18.999 --> 00:04:19.003
Don't shush me, I'm a lawyer.
00:04:19.002 --> 00:04:20.999
I'm not shushing you.
00:04:20.976 --> 00:04:23.137
You know how many tickets
I've talked myself out of?
00:04:23.001 --> 00:04:24.678
Oh, wow.
Will you look at this guy.
00:04:24.998 --> 00:04:26.999
Don't they have
height requirements?
00:04:26.315 --> 00:04:27.998
We're screwed. No, we're not.
00:04:27.999 --> 00:04:30.999
Don't. Don't, Dad, he said
to remain in the vehicle.
00:04:31.999 --> 00:04:34.999
Sir, I said to remain
in your vehicle.
00:04:34.999 --> 00:04:36.997
I just wanna talk to you
for one second.
00:04:36.959 --> 00:04:39.003
Let's just talk
like friendly Floridians.
00:04:39.998 --> 00:04:40.003
If you fail to comply,
I will arrest you.
00:04:40.995 --> 00:04:42.001
You see, my son's future
father-in-law
00:04:42.697 --> 00:04:44.002
thinks my Gay back there
has a bastard son.
00:04:44.999 --> 00:04:45.999
I said shut it.
00:04:45.999 --> 00:04:46.999
Shut it.
00:04:46.999 --> 00:04:48.997
I know my civil rights now.
00:04:48.999 --> 00:04:50.004
You know your rights? Huh?
00:04:50.999 --> 00:04:51.998
Oh!
00:04:51.339 --> 00:04:52.002
I have sensitive wrists.
00:04:52.001 --> 00:04:53.001
Excuse me.
00:04:53.001 --> 00:04:55.001
Sir, return to your vehicle.
00:04:55.998 --> 00:04:56.998
I don't know what he said, but...
00:04:56.002 --> 00:04:58.002
That's it.
On your belly.
00:04:58.998 --> 00:04:59.003
On my belly?
00:04:59.003 --> 00:05:00.003
You got a hearing problem?
00:05:00.002 --> 00:05:01.002
No, I'm just trying to say...
00:05:01.001 --> 00:05:04.997
Now we have two failures
to comply.
00:05:04.001 --> 00:05:07.999
Now, I need the two of you
00:05:07.999 --> 00:05:10.002
to remain on the vehicle.
00:05:14.002 --> 00:05:16.998
Okay, now here's my plan.
00:05:16.001 --> 00:05:17.721
Plan?
00:05:17.003 --> 00:05:18.999
Dad, no.
00:05:19.982 --> 00:05:20.999
That was just a joke.
00:05:22.999 --> 00:05:23.001
I'm sorry.
00:05:24.859 --> 00:05:26.001
I was... I was just trying
to help you, Gay.
Clip duration: 328 seconds
Views: 824
Timestamp in movie: 01h 32m 52s
Uploaded: 07 September, 2021
Genres: comedy, romance
Summary: All hell breaks loose when the Byrnes family meets the Focker family for the first time.
Comments
Actors
