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I don't care if they called you Larry Poppins You can't handle a childIt was Barry Poppins What cocktail were you makingHe's teething I told Greg to give him rum to ease the painIt was your idea

Meet the Fockers

Jack, I am not going to make any excuses. Yes, Little Jack wouldn't stop crying so I gave...

Meet the Fockers • 2004

Jack Byrnes:
I don't care if they did call you Larry Poppins. You are completely unfit to handle a child.Greg Focker:It was Barry Poppins.Jack Byrnes:What kind of sick cocktail were you going to make my grandson?Roz Focker:Jack, the baby's teething. I told Greg to give him some rum to ease the pain.Jack Byrnes:It was your idea?Roz Focker:Yes.Jack Byrnes:What is wrong with You people?Bernie Focker:You people?Dina Byrnes:Jack, I used to rub bourbon on Denny's gums.Jack Byrnes:Yeah, look what happened to him! Greg, you couldn't follow a simple set of instructions?Greg Focker:Jack, he was screaming. So I went in and I gave him a little attention. Okay?Jack Byrnes:He's learning to self-soothe. These setbacks are disastrous for his devlopment.Roz Focker:The child is adorable, but you're not raising Little Buddha over here.Greg Focker:Mom.Jack Byrnes:What are you saying?Roz Focker:I'm saying that I have seen that kid eat at least 15 boogers since he's been here and and I've got news for you, Jack. Prodigies don't eat there own boogers.Jack Byrnes:And I've got news for you. Prodigies don't come in 10th place every time, either.Pam Byrnes:Okay, Dad. That's my fiance.Jack Byrnes:I'm sorry. It's just that I've never seen people celebrate mediocrity the way you do.Roz Focker:Why? Because we love our son? We hug our son? Let's get down to it. The truth is, you're so concerned about that Little Jack, but I think that it's The Little Jack in you that is crying out for a hug.Jack Byrnes:The Little Jack in me?Roz Focker:Jack, you have issues. I'm trying to understand why you run around with a rubber boob strapped to your chest. I mean, were you ever breastfed? My guess is no.Jack Byrnes:Will you spare my the drugstore pyschology.Greg Focker: Everybody! All right. Everybody just... Everybody just STOP, okay?Greg Focker:Jack, I am not going to make any excuses. Yes, Little Jack wouldn't stop crying so I gave him some hugs and I let him watch TV. I went to answer the phone, I was gone for a second, I came back, he let himself out of the playpen, he put on Scarface, and he glued his hands to the rum bottle. Okay? That's it

Full Transcript

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I don't care if they called you Larry Poppins You can't handle a child

00:00:05.047 --> 00:00:08.759

It was Barry Poppins What cocktail were you making

00:00:08.843 --> 00:00:12.221

He's teething I told Greg to give him rum to ease the pain

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It was your idea Yes

00:00:13.722 --> 00:00:17.935

What is wrong with you people I used to rub bourbon on Denny's gums

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Look what happened to him You couldn't follow simple instructions

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He was screaming so I gave him a little attention OK

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These setbacks are disastrous for his development

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Don't exaggerate

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The child is adorable but he's not Little Buddha

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What are you saying

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I've seen that kid eat at least 15 boogers since he's been here

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I've got news for you Prodigies don't eat their own boogers

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And prodigies don't come in tenth place

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OK Dad that's my fiancé

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I have never seen people celebrate such mediocrity

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Why Because we love our son We hug our son

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The truth is you are so concerned about that Little Jack

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but I think it's the Little Jack in you who's crying out for a hug

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The Little Jack in me

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You have issues You run around with a rubber boob strapped to your chest

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Were you breast fed Mom stop

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Key question I guess not

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Spare the drugstore psychology

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It all comes down to that Everybody all right just

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Everybody just stop OK

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Jack yes Little Jack wouldn't stop crying so I gave him some hugs

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and I let him watch TV

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I answered the phone I came back in

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he'd let himself out of the playpen put on Scarface

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and glued his hands to the rum bottle OK

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That's it Oh That's it

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لا اهتم اذا كانوا ينادونك لارى بوبينز

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انت غير كفء تماما لتعتنى بطفل

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انها كانت بارى بوبينز

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اى كوكتيل كنت ستعطيه لحفيدى

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جاك الطفل يسنن

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قلت ل جريج ان يعطيه القليل من الروم لتسكين الألم

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انها كانت فكرتك نعم

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ما الخطأ بكم

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اعتدت ان ادلك لثة ديننى بال بوربون

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نعم انظروا ماذا حدث له

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جريج انت لا تستطيع ان تتبع مجموعة تعليمات بسيطة

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جاك انه كان يصرخ

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لذا ذهبت له واعطيته بعض من الانتباه حسنا

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انه يتعلم تسكين النفس

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هذه النكسات كارثية لتطويره

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إن الطفل محبوب

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لكن ك لا تربى البوذا الصغير هنا

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أمى ماذا تقولين

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اقول انى رايت هذا الطفل يأكل

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مخاطه 15 مرة على الأقل منذ ان كان هنا

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وعندى اخبار لك يا جاك

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العباقرة لا يأكلون مخاطهم

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وانا عندى اخبار لكى العباقرة لا يأتون فى المركز العاشر

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كل مرة ايضا

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حسنا ابى هذا خطيبى

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انا اسف انا لم ارى أناس ابدا

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يحتفلون بالتوسط مثلما تفعلون

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لأننا نحب ابننا نحضن ابننا

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دعنا نقولها الحقيقة هى

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انت مهتم جدا ب جاك الصغير لكنى اعتقد

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ان جاك الصغير الذى بداخلك

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هو الذى يصرخ طلبا لحضن

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جاك الصغير بداخلى

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جاك انت عندك مشكلة

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انا احاول ان افهم لماذا تتجول

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بثدى مطاطى مربوط بصدرك

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هل رض عت من الص در أبدا

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أمى توقفى سؤال مفتاح

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اعتقادى لا

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وف رى علم نفس الصيدلة

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جميعا كفى فقط جميعا

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فقط توقفوا جميعا حسنا

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جاك انا لن اقول اى اعذار نعم

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جاك الصغير لم يتوقف عن البكاء لذا حضنته قليلا

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وسمحت له بالفرجة على التليفزيون

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ذهبت لأجيب على التليفون ذهبت لحظة ثم رجعت

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لعب بالريموت وفتح فيلم سكارفيس

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وألصق يديه بزجاجة الروم

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هذا هو الموضوع

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هذا هو الموضوع

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On peut bien vous avoir appelé Larry Poppins

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vous êtes inapte à garder un enfant

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Barry Poppins

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Quel cocktail malsain lui prépariez vous

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Il fait ses dents J'ai conseillé du rhum pour le calmer

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C'était votre idée Oui

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Qu'est ce que vous avez dans la famille

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Je mettais du bourbon sur la gencive de Denny

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On a vu le résultat

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Vous n'avez pas su suivre quelques instructions simples

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Il criait Je lui ai donné un peu d'attention

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Il apprend le soulagement autonome C'est désastreux pour son évolution

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Cet enfant est adorable mais ce n'est pas le jeune Bouddha

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Maman Vous dites

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Que j'ai vu cet enfant manger au moins 15 crottes de nez

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Permettez moi les enfants prodiges ne mangent pas leurs crottes de nez

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Un enfant prodige n'arrive pas dixième à chaque course non plus

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Je n'ai jamais vu de gens célébrer la médiocrité ainsi

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Parce que nous aimons notre fils Qu'on le serre dans nos bras

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Vous êtes toujours inquiet pour bébé Jack mais en fait

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c'est le petit Jack en vous qui réclame un câlin

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Le petit Jack en moi

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Vous avez des blocages

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J'essaie de comprendre pourquoi vous portez un sein en plastique

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Avez vous été allaité

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Arrête maman Question clé

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À mon avis non Pas de psychologie bon marché

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Ça suffit tout le monde

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Je ne vous ferai pas d'excuses

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Jack n'arrêtait pas de pleurer je l'ai pris il a regardé la télé

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Je suis allé répondre au téléphone quand je suis revenu

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il était sorti du parc avait mis Scarface

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et s'était collé les mains à la bouteille de rhum

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C'est tout C'est tout

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Larry Poppins du kannst nicht mit Kindern umgehen

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Ich hieß Barry Poppins Was wolltest du L J einflößen

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Rum ist gut beim Zähnekriegen Das war deine Idee

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Ja Was für ein Volk

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Volk Ich gab Debby Bourbon

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Kannst du Anweisungen nicht folgen Er brüllte

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Also bin ich rein um nachzusehen Deine Einmischung ist katastrophal

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Du übertreibst Er ist nicht Little Buddha

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Mom Das heißt

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Er frisst Popel Wahre Wunderkinder fressen keine Popel

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Wunderkinder machen nicht nur den 10 Platz

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Ihr gebt euch mit Mittelmaß zufrieden Weil wir unseren Sohn lieben

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Ich denke es ist der Little Jack in dir der sich nach Liebe sehnt

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Der Little Jack in mir

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Jack es sind Traumata Warum läufst du sonst mit einer Brust rum

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Bist du gestillt worden Eine Schlüsselfrage

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Ich vermute nein Häkeltanten Psychologie

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Von da kommt alles Seid mal still Hört auf

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Little Jack hörte nicht auf zu heulen

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Ich nahm ihn in den Arm Ich ließ ihn fernsehen

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Ich kam vom Telefon er hatte umgeschaltet

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Seine Hände klebten an der Rumflasche

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Das ist alles Greg sagt das ist alles

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Плевать что тебя звали Ларри Поппинс Ты не умеешь обращаться с детьми

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Барри Поппинс Что за коктейль ты ему готовил

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У него режутся зубы Я сказала дать ему рома чтобы снять боль

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Так это твоя идея Да

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Да что с вами такое Я Денни тоже мазала десны бурбоном

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Смотри что с ним стало Неужели так трудно выполнить простые указания

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Он плакал я уделил ему немного внимания

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Подобные регрессы катастрофа для его развития

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Не преувеличивай

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Он очаровательный но Будды из него не получится

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Что ты хочешь сказать

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За то время что он здесь я видела как он съел как минимум 15 козюлек

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Открою тебе одну тайну Одаренные дети козюльки не едят

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Одаренные дети не занимают десятые места

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Папа это мой жених

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Кто станет восхищаться посредственностью

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А что такого в том что мы любим и обнимаем нашего сына

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Ты так заботишься о своем Мини Джеке но я думаю

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это Мини Джеку внутри тебя хочется чтобы его обняли

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Мини Джек внутри меня

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У тебя проблемы Ты носишься с резиновой грудью у себя на груди

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Тебя кормили грудью Мам прекрати

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Это главное Думаю нет

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Вот не надо базарной психологии

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В этом все дело Так всем

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Всем прекратить ясно

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Да Мини Джек все время плакал и я взял его на руки

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и разрешил ему смотреть ТВ

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Зазвонил телефон а когда я вернулся

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он вышел из манежа включил Лицо со Шрамом

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и приклеил руки к бутылке с ромом Понятно

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Вот и все Ага Вот и все

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Грег сказал вот и все значит все нормально Вот и все

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Larry Poppins o no estás incapacitado para educar niños

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Barry Poppins Qué malvado cóctel le hacías

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Son los dientes le dije que le diera ron para aliviarle

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Fue idea tuya Sí

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Qué tipo de gentuza sois

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Yo le frotaba bourbon en las encías a Denny

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IY mira cómo acabó No puedes seguir instrucciones simples

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Estaba llorando y le presté atención

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Estos contratiempos son desastrosos

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No exageres papi

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PJ es adorable pero no es el Pequeño Buda

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Qué insinúas

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Se ha comido 15 mocos desde que ha llegado

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Los niños prodigio no se comen los mocos

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Ni tampoco acaban en 10º puesto

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Papá es mi prometido

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Jamás he visto celebrar la mediocridad como vosotros

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Por qué Porque queremos a nuestro hijo

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Tú estarás preocupado por el Pequeño Jack

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pero es el Pequeño Jack que hay en ti quien se muere por un abrazo

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El Pequeño Jack en mí

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Jack tienes problemas Por qué te paseas con una teta de goma

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Te dieron el pecho Mamá para

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Pregunta clave Apuesto a que no

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Ahórrame tu psicología barata

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De ahí viene todo

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Queréis dejarlo ya

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No paraba de llorar le cogí y le puse la tele

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Fui a coger el teléfono y cuando volví

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se había salido del parque puso El precio del poder

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y se le pegaron las manos al ron

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Y ya está

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Claro Greg ya está Y yo me siento mucho mejor

Available in 6 languages

Duration

104 seconds

Views

5,974

Timestamp in Movie

01:08:53

Uploaded

Mar 08, 2026

Genres

comedy, romance

Production

Universal Pictures,DreamWorks Pictures,Tribeca Productions,Everyman Pictures,Nancy Tenenbaum Films

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Movie Summary

All hell breaks loose when the Byrnes family meets the Focker family for the first time.

Actors

Jack Byrnes

Greg Focker

Bernie Focker

Dina Byrnes

Pam Byrnes