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"Meet the Spartans" quotes

Meet the Spartans poster
A spoof of 300 (2006) and many other movies, TV series/shows/commercials, video games and celebrities. King Leonidas of Sparta and his army of 12 go to war against Xerxes of Persia to fight to the death for Sparta's freedom.

Director: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer
Writer: Jason Friedberg, Aaron Seltzer
Production: N/A
Genre: comedy, fantasy
Year: 2008
MetaScore: 9/100
ImdbRating: 2.8
BoxOffice: $38,233,676
Released: 25 Jan 2008
Awards: 6 nominations

140 video clips

CaptainMessengerLeonidasUrban GirlXerxesQueen MargoTraitoroSonioCouncilmanRandy Look-a-likeNarrator
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I'm gonna go Hercules up your ass - Meet the Spartans 00:07 I'm gonna go Hercules up your ass What the hell was that - Meet the Spartans 00:37 What the hell was that No mayo This is bullshit - Meet the Spartans 00:06 No mayo This is bullshit Yo mama so fat her - Meet the Spartans 00:10 Yo mama so fat her I am assembling an army of 300 to go to war with Persia - Meet the Spartans 00:19 I am assembling an army of 300 to go to war with Persia I am a Hilton I don't bow Ai - Meet the Spartans 00:09 I am a Hilton I don't bow Ai I tell you kid you got balls - Meet the Spartans 00:07 I tell you kid you got balls I am not gay - Meet the Spartans 00:07 I am not gay Yes well that maybe the case but yo mama so hairy - Meet the Spartans 00:10 Yes well that maybe the case but yo mama so hairy Let us talk by the giant Pit of Death - Meet the Spartans 00:05 Let us talk by the giant Pit of Death I remember when my father used to beat me - Meet the Spartans 00:14 I remember when my father used to beat me Stop kicking people into the Pit of Death Really - Meet the Spartans 00:06 Stop kicking people into the Pit of Death Really How you like me now Sandman - Meet the Spartans 00:10 How you like me now Sandman We may have won the battle But they will win the war - Meet the Spartans 00:09 We may have won the battle But they will win the war Adjust your sword boy - Meet the Spartans 00:18 Adjust your sword boy The Oracle says if we went to war we would be screwed - Meet the Spartans 00:20 The Oracle says if we went to war we would be screwed Catch your breath Vanilla blend in - Meet the Spartans 00:16 Catch your breath Vanilla blend in I am Xerxestron equipped with the Trans alien technology - Meet the Spartans 00:31 I am Xerxestron equipped with the Trans alien technology Now you're pissing me off I'm getting everybody - Meet the Spartans 00:05 Now you're pissing me off I'm getting everybody As long as Xerxes doesn't find the secret path to the Hot Gates - Meet the Spartans 00:10 As long as Xerxes doesn't find the secret path to the... Come back with your shield or on it - Meet the Spartans 00:21 Come back with your shield or on it He has lot of heart my king - Meet the Spartans 00:07 He has lot of heart my king It's a beautiful day - Meet the Spartans 00:10 It's a beautiful day Chickel my nipples with a feather Xerxes is in Traitor's Top 5 - Meet the Spartans 00:13 Chickel my nipples with a feather Xerxes is in... Remember this day boys - Meet the Spartans 00:19 Remember this day boys As long as Xerxes doesn't find the secret path to the Hot Gates - Meet the Spartans 00:25 As long as Xerxes doesn't find the secret path to the... Xerxes He seems as much at that Fat guy from the movie of Borat - Meet the Spartans 00:07 Xerxes He seems as much at that Fat guy from the movie of... A Spartan always protects another man's rear. - Meet the Spartans 00:05 A Spartan always protects another man's rear. Adjust your sword boy It's digging into my back - Meet the Spartans 00:15 Adjust your sword boy It's digging into my back Adjust your sword, boy. It's digging into my back. - Meet the Spartans 00:30 Adjust your sword, boy. It's digging into my back. And if you don't like it, you can kiss my fat ass! - Meet the Spartans 00:06 And if you don't like it, you can kiss my fat ass! As long as Xerxes doesn't find the secret path to the Hot Gates - Meet the Spartans 00:10 As long as Xerxes doesn't find the secret path to the... Botox overdose. - Meet the Spartans 00:06 Botox overdose. Catch your breath Vanilla Blended - Meet the Spartans 00:15 Catch your breath Vanilla Blended Come back with your shield or on it - Meet the Spartans 00:18 Come back with your shield or on it Come back with your shield, or on it. - Meet the Spartans 00:18 Come back with your shield, or on it. Come on, baby. I'm getting a chubby. - Meet the Spartans 00:11 Come on, baby. I'm getting a chubby. Congratulations, Sonio. - Meet the Spartans 00:07 Congratulations, Sonio. Damn, coz, there goes my palimony. K-Fed ain't havin' it, yo! - Meet the Spartans 00:13 Damn, coz, there goes my palimony. K-Fed ain't havin�... Dilio. - Meet the Spartans 00:23 Dilio. Don't come up in my kitchen with that weak-ass shit. - Meet the Spartans 00:06 Don't come up in my kitchen with that weak-ass shit. Eat from them everything... - Meet the Spartans 00:12 Eat from them everything... Enough of this gratuitous video-game violence! - Meet the Spartans 00:06 Enough of this gratuitous video-game violence! Even if the oracle doesn't support you, I do. And Sparta does. - Meet the Spartans 00:14 Even if the oracle doesn't support you, I do. And Spart... Follow me, boys. - Meet the Spartans 00:23 Follow me, boys. For tonight we dine - Meet the Spartans 00:19 For tonight we dine Gentlemen, may I present Queen Margo. - Meet the Spartans 00:05 Gentlemen, may I present Queen Margo. Gentlemen, our only hope for survival is to surrender... - Meet the Spartans 00:20 Gentlemen, our only hope for survival is to surrender... Get her Dilio Your mama's so fat - Meet the Spartans 00:09 Get her Dilio Your mama's so fat Ghost Rider. - Meet the Spartans 00:10 Ghost Rider. Give the order, captain. - Meet the Spartans 00:08 Give the order, captain. God that smarts I am gonna go Hercules on your ass - Meet the Spartans 00:10 God that smarts I am gonna go Hercules on your ass God, that's a shitty plan. - Meet the Spartans 00:14 God, that's a shitty plan. Good councilmen, I implore you. - Meet the Spartans 00:15 Good councilmen, I implore you. Goodbye. Back to the line. - Meet the Spartans 00:18 Goodbye. Back to the line. - Greetings, Leonidas. - Greetings, messenger. - Meet the Spartans 00:22 - Greetings, Leonidas. - Greetings, messenger. Have you assembled my army... - Meet the Spartans 00:09 Have you assembled my army... He has a lot of heart my king And nice man boobs - Meet the Spartans 00:05 He has a lot of heart my king And nice man boobs How do you like me now Sandman Oh no - Meet the Spartans 00:05 How do you like me now Sandman Oh no I am the emissary to the great god-king Xerxes... - Meet the Spartans 00:19 I am the emissary to the great god-king Xerxes... I am Xerxestron... - Meet the Spartans 00:19 I am Xerxestron... And the boy that was cast into the wild... - Meet the Spartans 00:08 And the boy that was cast into the wild... As the Spartans kicked major ass, even Leonidas believed victory was theirs. - Meet the Spartans 00:20 As the Spartans kicked major ass, even Leonidas believed vic... I come over here with a big army We're going to shish kebab your ass - Meet the Spartans 00:06 I come over here with a big army We're going to shish... I don't know why y'all have to always get on my back for everything. - Meet the Spartans 00:18 I don't know why y'all have to always get on my ba... From an early age, Leonidas was taught to fight. - Meet the Spartans 00:12 From an early age, Leonidas was taught to fight. If any imperfections were found, the baby was rejected. - Meet the Spartans 00:28 If any imperfections were found, the baby was rejected. In the land of Sparta, when babies were born... - Meet the Spartans 00:16 In the land of Sparta, when babies were born... Leave her alone! - Meet the Spartans 00:09 Leave her alone! Leonidas was sent into the wild to learn how to survive. - Meet the Spartans 00:18 Leonidas was sent into the wild to learn how to survive. Leonidas and the Spartans died for honor... - Meet the Spartans 00:14 Leonidas and the Spartans died for honor... Leonidas was true to his word, a god-king did fall. - Meet the Spartans 00:10 Leonidas was true to his word, a god-king did fall. Queen Margo unleashed a venomous rage... - Meet the Spartans 00:12 Queen Margo unleashed a venomous rage... I remember when my father used to beat me - Meet the Spartans 00:11 I remember when my father used to beat me The ancient prophets were advisors to the king. - Meet the Spartans 00:10 The ancient prophets were advisors to the king. The fearless Spartans reached the Hot Gates... - Meet the Spartans 00:24 The fearless Spartans reached the Hot Gates... The prophets chose only the most beautiful of Spartan girls... - Meet the Spartans 00:25 The prophets chose only the most beautiful of Spartan girls.... I'll do anything for my husband. - Meet the Spartans 00:23 I'll do anything for my husband. I'm a Hilton I don't bow - Meet the Spartans 00:07 I'm a Hilton I don't bow I'm a smart shopper. I got this entire outfit in an alley from a Mexico woman. - Meet the Spartans 00:14 I'm a smart shopper. I got this entire outfit in an all... I'm assembling an army of 300 to go to war with Persia - Meet the Spartans 00:19 I'm assembling an army of 300 to go to war with Persia I'm not gay yeah - Meet the Spartans 00:05 I'm not gay yeah It's a beautiful death - Meet the Spartans 00:16 It's a beautiful death It's a beautiful death. - Meet the Spartans 00:16 It's a beautiful death. Kick his ass in. - Meet the Spartans 00:16 Kick his ass in. King Leonidas. Xerxes approaches. - Meet the Spartans 00:11 King Leonidas. Xerxes approaches. Last one in is a rotten egg. Cannonball! - Meet the Spartans 00:13 Last one in is a rotten egg. Cannonball! Let us talk by the giant pit of death Okay - Meet the Spartans 00:06 Let us talk by the giant pit of death Okay Man, you've got happy feet. - Meet the Spartans 00:20 Man, you've got happy feet.
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Cast

Leonidas - Sean Maguire
Queen Margo - Carmen Electra
Xerxes - Ken Davitian
Captain - Kevin Sorbo
Traitoro - Diedrich Bader
All Cast