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Michelle Wolf: Joke Show

I would give birth-- I would give birthif we could give birth like giraffes

[audience laughs] I would give birth-- I would give birth
if we could give birth like giraffes

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.998
[audience laughs]
00:00:05.171 --> 00:00:08.424
I would give birth-- I would give birth if we could give birth like giraffes.
Duration
8 seconds
Views
50
Timestamp in Movie
00:20:46
Uploaded
Jun 12, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Irwin Entertainment,Cats in Pants,Dixon Talent

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Movie Summary

Comedian Michelle Wolf takes on outrage culture, massages, childbirth, feminism and much more (like otters) in a stand-up special from New York City.
First of all, there's a lady giraffe, - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:04
First of all, there's a lady giraffe,
[audience laughs] - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:06
[audience laughs]
And then, all of a sudden, out of what I can only assume is her gaping vagina, - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:11
And then, all of a sudden, out of what I can only assume is ...
She's just like, "Life's hard, learn it now!" - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:10
She's just like, "Life's hard, learn it now!&...
She doesn't make a face, she doesn't make a sound, - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:15
She doesn't make a face, she doesn't make a sound,
I don't know-- I don't know if I want to have a baby, - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:06
I don't know-- I don't know if I want to have a ba...
Like, I would want to breastfeed, - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:08
Like, I would want to breastfeed,
Pew, pew!" - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:06
Pew, pew!"
Like, "Sorry, E-ZPass is down, but keep the change." - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:05
Like, "Sorry, E-ZPass is down, but keep the change.&quo...
I don't know if I should have a baby - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:05
I don't know if I should have a baby
I think childhood should be miserable - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:06
I think childhood should be miserable
And then a bunch of shit happened, and now we're like, - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:16
And then a bunch of shit happened, and now we're like,
...because there's no way the second half of that kid's life isn't better. - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:04
...because there's no way the second half of that kid&#...
He escapes, he's like, "Yeah, I'm an accountant, I have a window. - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:04
He escapes, he's like, "Yeah, I'm an accounta...
This is amazing." - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:06
This is amazing."
And, like, of the week, not 8,942." - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:07
And, like, of the week, not 8,942."
By the way, - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:05
By the way,
I don't think about how I would escape, - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:05
I don't think about how I would escape,
[audience laughs] - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:07
[audience laughs]
And then one day he's like, "Claire!" - Michelle Wolf: Joke Show 00:05
And then one day he's like, "Claire!"