Derek, where are you now? For all these years, the answer was easy and clear. You were...

[Last lines]
Ruby: [narrating the letter] Derek, where are you now? For all these years, the answer was easy and clear. You were with me. Now, it's all unclear. We are somewhere in between. In between the forgotten and the foreseen, in a middle place. It scares me. Everyone around me is here, caught within each other. Mom and Rosie are here caught by expectations of what should be, by shame of what is, by dreams of what they wanted and what will never really be. I don't want to be caught. I see options in front of me, other roads I could travel and yet, I am still here. I don't know which way to go. There are no easy answers anymore and only one thing is clear my love, we are long lost. We are long awaited. The past has disappeared and the future, it doesn't exist till we get there. Where are you? It's a question that I now pose, to myself. I ask, unsure of the answer. There are no easy answers anymore. But I'll keep asking anyway. And I'll let you know what I find. Love, Ruby