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Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates

I can't do this. Wait. Sorry. -That's okay. That's okay.-Sorry everyone. [just forgot my...

I can't do this. Wait. Sorry. -That's okay. That's okay.
-Sorry everyone. [just forgot my phone.
Can I grab my phone? Sorry, I still don't
want to get married. My gosh

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.104
I can't do this.
00:00:02.168 --> 00:00:03.169
Wait.
00:00:03.269 --> 00:00:04.304
Sorry.
00:00:04.403 --> 00:00:07.077
-That's okay. That's okay. -Sorry everyone.
00:00:07.139 --> 00:00:10.313
[just forgot my phone. Can I grab my phone?
00:00:11.999 --> 00:00:13.284
Sorry, I still don't want to get married.
00:00:15.948 --> 00:00:17.999
My gosh.
Duration
18 seconds
Views
25
Timestamp in Movie
00:57:21
Uploaded
Nov 01, 2025
Genres
comedy, romance
Production
Chernin Entertainment,TSG Entertainment,20th Century Fox

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Movie Summary

Two hard-partying brothers place an online ad to find the perfect dates for their sister's Hawaiian wedding. Hoping for a wild getaway, the boys instead find themselves out-hustled by an uncontrollable duo.
"Love wounds, and mars." - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:11
"Love wounds, and mars."
They pretended to dig us just to get a free trip to Hawaii. - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:06
They pretended to dig us just to get a free trip to Hawaii.
Tatiana was jerking off our cousin Terry. - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:06
Tatiana was jerking off our cousin Terry.
She was, David! With the masseuse. - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:05
She was, David! With the masseuse.
I'm gonna walk in on mom giving dad a Push Pop? - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:06
I'm gonna walk in on mom giving dad a Push Pop?
I made it up, Dave. It's a sexual term that I just made up. - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:05
I made it up, Dave. It's a sexual term that I just made...
-God! -Two hands pushin' the pop. - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:05
-God! -Two hands pushin' the pop.
Freaking I will punch you 17,000 times in the face. Freaking. - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:06
Freaking I will punch you 17,000 times in the face. Freaking...
-Like The Truman Show. -Yeah! Exactly like The Truman Show! - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:06
-Like The Truman Show. -Yeah! Exactly like The Truman Show!
look an your stupid face! - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:13
look an your stupid face!
You know, you think that every moment is going to feel... - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:05
You know, you think that every moment is going to feel...
Well, if you want warm, glowy and magical... - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:05
Well, if you want warm, glowy and magical...
Why would you take ecstasy for the first time - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:06
Why would you take ecstasy for the first time
He's my neighbor, and he helped me out with a little something I like to call... - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:05
He's my neighbor, and he helped me out with a little so...
I'm gonna work on my graphic novel, and Mom's gonna help me cover the rent. - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:05
I'm gonna work on my graphic novel, and Mom's gonn...
You turn your back an me... - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:08
You turn your back an me...
Because I wanted her to shit hot brown poop all over that stage. - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:05
Because I wanted her to shit hot brown poop all over that st...
I wanted her butt to explode like a rotten cantaloupe. - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:06
I wanted her butt to explode like a rotten cantaloupe.
You're just fucking pissed off because Tatiana finger diddled Terry. - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:05
You're just fucking pissed off because Tatiana finger d...
Why do you keep punching me? - Mike and Dave Need Wedding Dates 00:06
Why do you keep punching me?