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"Miss Congeniality" quotes

Miss Congeniality poster
An F.B.I. Agent must go undercover in the Miss United States beauty pageant to prevent a group from bombing the event.

Director: Donald Petrie
Writer: Marc Lawrence, Katie Ford, Caryn Lucas
Production: N/A
Genre: action, comedy, crime
Year: 2000
MetaScore: 43/100
ImdbRating: 6.3
BoxOffice: $106,807,667
Released: 22 Dec 2000
Awards: 7 wins & 8 nominations

86 video clips

Stan FieldsGracie HartKathy MorningsideVictor MellingEric MatthewsTinaDave The Pageant DirectorAssistant DirectorFrank TobinMary Jo Wright, Miss TexasAgent Clonsky
Hello and goodbye - Miss Congeniality 00:44 Hello and goodbye That's a tough one - Miss Congeniality 00:18 That's a tough one What would you say to them - Miss Congeniality 00:30 What would you say to them I haven't seen a walk like that since Jurassic Park - Miss Congeniality 00:11 I haven't seen a walk like that since Jurassic Park You think I'm gorgeous - Miss Congeniality 00:19 You think I'm gorgeous I am in a dress - Miss Congeniality 00:15 I am in a dress That would be in my other dress - Miss Congeniality 00:13 That would be in my other dress I didn't realize it was stupidity - Miss Congeniality 00:17 I didn't realize it was stupidity I'm gliding here - Miss Congeniality 00:07 I'm gliding here The interview is the single most important part of the pageant - Miss Congeniality 00:14 The interview is the single most important part of the... Because you're smart - Miss Congeniality 00:34 Because you're smart Smilers wear a crown - Miss Congeniality 00:06 Smilers wear a crown It's all in the buttocks - Miss Congeniality 00:10 It's all in the buttocks This earpiece lets you hear anybody on our frequencies - Miss Congeniality 00:10 This earpiece lets you hear anybody on our frequencies The last time I was naked in public I came out of a uterus - Miss Congeniality 00:07 The last time I was naked in public I came out of a uterus What are you planning to do for your talent - Miss Congeniality 00:12 What are you planning to do for your talent What would you do - Miss Congeniality 00:14 What would you do You are not having sex on this stage - Miss Congeniality 00:17 You are not having sex on this stage Part of you is going to miss this - Miss Congeniality 00:16 Part of you is going to miss this This woman has no talent - Miss Congeniality 00:10 This woman has no talent What was the question - Miss Congeniality 00:16 What was the question There should be two - Miss Congeniality 00:09 There should be two It is not a beauty pageant - Miss Congeniality 00:17 It is not a beauty pageant The year we lost - Miss Congeniality 00:14 The year we lost Operation Thong has commenced - Miss Congeniality 00:10 Operation Thong has commenced What is the one most important thing our society needs - Miss Congeniality 00:43 What is the one most important thing our society needs You can taste it now - Miss Congeniality 00:24 You can taste it now You old fruitcake - Miss Congeniality 00:08 You old fruitcake If I can make it to the top ten - Miss Congeniality 00:32 If I can make it to the top ten I would so love to hurt you right now - Miss Congeniality 00:11 I would so love to hurt you right now Don't look at me like I betrayed you - Miss Congeniality 00:07 Don't look at me like I betrayed you I know the program says I'm supposed to play the water glasses for you - Miss Congeniality 00:12 I know the program says I'm supposed to play the water... What are you doing - Miss Congeniality 00:26 What are you doing Why is New Jersey called - Miss Congeniality 00:11 Why is New Jersey called Everybody has a gun - Miss Congeniality 00:12 Everybody has a gun It's light beer and she's gonna throw it up anyway - Miss Congeniality 00:10 It's light beer and she's gonna throw it up anyway We were just looking for someone to go undercover at the pageant - Miss Congeniality 00:19 We were just looking for someone to go undercover at the... Your hair should make a statement - Miss Congeniality 00:14 Your hair should make a statement Remove the beer stains and steak residue - Miss Congeniality 00:13 Remove the beer stains and steak residue If I'd ever had a daughter - Miss Congeniality 00:14 If I'd ever had a daughter Maybe we could have dinner - Miss Congeniality 00:16 Maybe we could have dinner I'm not with him with him - Miss Congeniality 00:09 I'm not with him with him Where am I gonna keep my gun - Miss Congeniality 00:07 Where am I gonna keep my gun And dancing talent - Miss Congeniality 00:15 And dancing talent Vic's gonna kill you - Miss Congeniality 00:13 Vic's gonna kill you You took your earpiece out - Miss Congeniality 00:12 You took your earpiece out Gracie Lou Freebush - Miss Congeniality 00:20 Gracie Lou Freebush No wonder you're still a virgin - Miss Congeniality 00:25 No wonder you're still a virgin You'll take the bags to the room - Miss Congeniality 00:16 You'll take the bags to the room Guess it's time to apply at my local Hooters - Miss Congeniality 00:33 Guess it's time to apply at my local Hooters America is like a big ship - Miss Congeniality 00:20 America is like a big ship In place of friends and relationships - Miss Congeniality 00:27 In place of friends and relationships Is it because Macdonald hates me - Miss Congeniality 01:01 Is it because Macdonald hates me His ego is this big - Miss Congeniality 00:15 His ego is this big What do you say - Miss Congeniality 00:23 What do you say Especially without their knowledge - Miss Congeniality 00:07 Especially without their knowledge She's gonna cry again - Miss Congeniality 00:11 She's gonna cry again You think you saved something tonight - Miss Congeniality 00:11 You think you saved something tonight Can't I get some Novocain - Miss Congeniality 00:08 Can't I get some Novocain In Hawaii don't you use Aloha for hello and goodbye - Miss Congeniality 00:17 In Hawaii don't you use Aloha for hello and goodbye Happy you doughnut Nazi - Miss Congeniality 00:13 Happy you doughnut Nazi And we'll be right back with our final five lesbians Interviews - Miss Congeniality 00:09 And we'll be right back with our final five lesbians... Don't pick your feet up - Miss Congeniality 00:13 Don't pick your feet up I want all the lesbians to know - Miss Congeniality 00:05 I want all the lesbians to know Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department store - Miss Congeniality 00:19 Once I stole a pair of red underwear from the department... You're a genius - Miss Congeniality 00:10 You're a genius There are no words - Miss Congeniality 00:05 There are no words Enjoy running the Miss San Antonio Women's Correctional Facility Pageant - Miss Congeniality 00:13 Enjoy running the Miss San Antonio Women's Correctional... We recently discovered some information about the winner from New Jersey - Miss Congeniality 00:18 We recently discovered some information about the winner... With all due respect here - Miss Congeniality 00:34 With all due respect here You're shutting up enough for both of us - Miss Congeniality 00:11 You're shutting up enough for both of us Oh I know and it's an honor to have made it this far - Miss Congeniality 00:26 Oh I know and it's an honor to have made it this far I'd never get you here unless you could shoot someone - Miss Congeniality 00:09 I'd never get you here unless you could shoot someone I know you're all concerned about Grant's condition - Miss Congeniality 00:08 I know you're all concerned about Grant's... You stole panties - Miss Congeniality 00:12 You stole panties My parents don't like anything ostentatious - Miss Congeniality 00:13 My parents don't like anything ostentatious Sir that is one really really purple Russian sir - Miss Congeniality 00:07 Sir that is one really really purple Russian sir I was like a female Rain Man - Miss Congeniality 00:08 I was like a female Rain Man I'm going to get chip faced - Miss Congeniality 00:05 I'm going to get chip faced Is this you not arguing - Miss Congeniality 00:06 Is this you not arguing No insults today - Miss Congeniality 00:06 No insults today Will you please go back to the mothership - Miss Congeniality 00:09 Will you please go back to the mothership Bizarro - Miss Congeniality 00:12 Bizarro I really do want world peace - Miss Congeniality 00:04 I really do want world peace I'll be retiring this year - Miss Congeniality 00:20 I'll be retiring this year McDonald called - Miss Congeniality 00:17 McDonald called

Cast

Gracie Hart - Sandra Bullock
Victor Melling - Michael Caine
Eric Matthews - Benjamin Bratt
Kathy Morningside - Candice Bergen
Stan Fields - William Shatner
All Cast