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Motherland

This is a programme about navigating the trials and traumas of middle-class motherhood. It looks at the competitive side and unromantic take on parenting--not the cute, acceptable face of motherhood.

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N/A

Year

Genre

Awards

Won 1 BAFTA Award5 wins & 16 nominations total

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We hired a ceramic cafe, - Motherland

We hired a ceramic cafe,

-I'm organising it.
-...would I miss that, - Motherland

-I'm organising it. -...would I miss that,

And I don't have two kids, - Motherland

And I don't have two kids,

There'll be nothing left
for the charity shop, - Motherland

There'll be nothing left for the charity shop,

I think it's cruel to call it a pool party
because when people say pool - Motherland

I think it's cruel to call it a pool party because whe...

Tell you what, I'll give
you a tenner for cancer, - Motherland

Tell you what, I'll give you a tenner for cancer,

I'm having a little birthday
thing for Ivy on saturday. - Motherland

I'm having a little birthday thing for Ivy on saturday...

-Pizza express, if you...
-Pizza express, that's a good idea. - Motherland

-Pizza express, if you... -Pizza express, that's a goo...

So much easier than going
to the trouble of organising - Motherland

So much easier than going to the trouble of organising

-What's Liz doing?
-Oh, she's found some guy's wallet. - Motherland

-What's Liz doing? -Oh, she's found some guy'...

Oh, yeah, Mrs Lamb's the man.
Breakfast club, Homework Club. - Motherland

Oh, yeah, Mrs Lamb's the man. Breakfast club, Homework...

I can see you. I know you're in
there, hiding behind the sofa. - Motherland

I can see you. I know you're in there, hiding behind t...

I kids party, real hard.
If you'd let me finish my sentence! - Motherland

I kids party, real hard. If you'd let me finish my sen...

Well, I said that she was very
helpful and I said, "Nice jumper." - Motherland

Well, I said that she was very helpful and I said, "Ni...

Uh, no, I just wanted to make
a good impression on Malcolm, - Motherland

Uh, no, I just wanted to make a good impression on Malcolm,

I'd like to take this opportunity
to be a little bit creative, - Motherland

I'd like to take this opportunity to be a little bit c...

I was going to say that
pizza express is great - Motherland

I was going to say that pizza express is great

I got terribly into driftwood
crafting after my early menopause. - Motherland

I got terribly into driftwood crafting after my early menop...

I got her a St Tropez kit for her
birthday and now Charlie's allowed - Motherland

I got her a St Tropez kit for her birthday and now Charlie&...

Oh, well, what you lost in the oestrogen
you definitely made up for in hobbies. - Motherland

Oh, well, what you lost in the oestrogen you definitely mad...

Last year I was Nibbles
King, do you remember? - Motherland

Last year I was Nibbles King, do you remember?

Think they're all that?
War photographers think they're all that? - Motherland

Think they're all that? War photographers think they&#...

I had all the bags of crisps
and nuts pinned to me. - Motherland

I had all the bags of crisps and nuts pinned to me.

-You're looking at a free man, ladies.
-What do you mean? - Motherland

-You're looking at a free man, ladies. -What do you me...

-I'm terribly popular all of a sudden.
-Annoying! - Motherland

-I'm terribly popular all of a sudden. -Annoying!

But I thought this year,
I'd go one better... - Motherland

But I thought this year, I'd go one better...

I don't know Claire at all, - Motherland

I don't know Claire at all,

I see. Yeah, nice, yeah.
They really suit you. - Motherland

I see. Yeah, nice, yeah. They really suit you.

Oh, nothing. It's just a thing
she has to do from time to time. - Motherland

Oh, nothing. It's just a thing she has to do from time...

I just called him. He's going to text me
when he's done with work and - Motherland

I just called him. He's going to text me when he'...

So everyone puts their coats on me, - Motherland

So everyone puts their coats on me,

When she's had enough of me.
When I'm driving her up the walls. - Motherland

When she's had enough of me. When I'm driving her...

You know what else I like about him?
He has no loyalty cards at all. - Motherland

You know what else I like about him? He has no loyalty card...

She just says, "Aaaargh!..." - Motherland

She just says, "Aaaargh!..."

So, I'm having a party. It's fine.
I organise events for a living, - Motherland

So, I'm having a party. It's fine. I organise eve...

What a sight! And then when
everyone's ready to go, - Motherland

What a sight! And then when everyone's ready to go,

Just got three cards.
Gym, Visa, Oyster. - Motherland

Just got three cards. Gym, Visa, Oyster.

Let's say we charge a pound a coat. - Motherland

Let's say we charge a pound a coat.

-A few friends have invited me to Milan.
-Have they? - Motherland

-A few friends have invited me to Milan. -Have they?

I love them to bits, but I can't
look after them any more. - Motherland

I love them to bits, but I can't look after them any m...

Kevin, mate, you're all right to take mine
back to yours after. I'll get you back. - Motherland

Kevin, mate, you're all right to take mine back to you...

-No!
-I've got my in-laws coming. - Motherland

-No! -I've got my in-laws coming.

Oh, actually, that would be great - Motherland

Oh, actually, that would be great

Sorry, I thought that's
what the holiday was for, - Motherland

Sorry, I thought that's what the holiday was for,

-Come on, you can get in on it, too.
-I live fucking opposite the school. - Motherland

-Come on, you can get in on it, too. -I live fucking opposi...

She had a nasty fall a few weeks ago
and I have to take her - Motherland

She had a nasty fall a few weeks ago and I have to take her

Well, then, it looks like I've got
a weekend to myself doing boy stuff - Motherland

Well, then, it looks like I've got a weekend to myself...

It's fun, goodness!
Well, I'm going to do it anyway, - Motherland

It's fun, goodness! Well, I'm going to do it anyw...

I mean, I can't do that tomorrow
afternoon, - Motherland

I mean, I can't do that tomorrow afternoon,

OK, I'm not having this argument again.
If you're really serious about this, - Motherland

OK, I'm not having this argument again. If you're...

Standing in front of you wondering
why I'm struggling to cope, - Motherland

Standing in front of you wondering why I'm struggling ...

But it's going to have stiff competition
from the human cloakroom. - Motherland

But it's going to have stiff competition from the huma...

I'm having to bloody work from home
today because they don't understand - Motherland

I'm having to bloody work from home today because they...

Let the battle
of the cloakrooms commence! - Motherland

Let the battle of the cloakrooms commence!

Trying to fill my eyes with anything
that isn't a driftwood affirmation. - Motherland

Trying to fill my eyes with anything that isn't a drif...

So, I came in to invite you to Ivy's
birthday party, it's on saturday. - Motherland

So, I came in to invite you to Ivy's birthday party, i...

-No, Julia, from now.
-OK. What about next month... - Motherland

-No, Julia, from now. -OK. What about next month...

Caroline, I just noticed
there's no tombola, - Motherland

Caroline, I just noticed there's no tombola,

No, now, Julia.
Starting from now. - Motherland

No, now, Julia. Starting from now.

Well, I just thought it didn't feel
like a tombola sets the right tone, - Motherland

Well, I just thought it didn't feel like a tombola set...

Otherwise I wouldn't be standing
here, inhaling verruca fumes. - Motherland

Otherwise I wouldn't be standing here, inhaling verruc...

-I'm sorry.
-No... - Motherland

-I'm sorry. -No...

This fundraiser is close
to my heart, as you know, - Motherland

This fundraiser is close to my heart, as you know,

I'm not trying to do anything, mother.
What am I trying to do? - Motherland

I'm not trying to do anything, mother. What am I tryin...

I haven't got time for sorry. Unless
it's "Sorry, I've changed my mind." - Motherland

I haven't got time for sorry. Unless it's "S...

I can't park here. Wait there,
I'll bring the car around. - Motherland

I can't park here. Wait there, I'll bring the car...

It's fine. I'll just, I'll watch
from the viewing platform and - Motherland

It's fine. I'll just, I'll watch from the vi...

-Rueben's mythraxic.
-Oh, I'm so sorry. - Motherland

-Rueben's mythraxic. -Oh, I'm so sorry.

I don't need anything, mother,
please don't try and twist this. - Motherland

I don't need anything, mother, please don't try a...

Boys and girls, - Motherland

Boys and girls,

What I want, actually,
to be perfectly honest, - Motherland

What I want, actually, to be perfectly honest,

I don't know, maybe
this year I could just... host it. - Motherland

I don't know, maybe this year I could just... host it.

OK, great, great. Mums and dads, - Motherland

OK, great, great. Mums and dads,

Is Liz really doing the drinks?
Because her measures are demented. - Motherland

Is Liz really doing the drinks? Because her measures are de...

Ok. How about this, just one last job,
and then you're free, you're out. - Motherland

Ok. How about this, just one last job, and then you're...

-What does she mean in the water?
-You'll have to get in the pool. - Motherland

-What does she mean in the water? -You'll have to get ...

-I don't have my glasses with me.
-I've got some of Charlie's. Hang on. - Motherland

-I don't have my glasses with me. -I've got some ...

-Where's my paper, my newspaper?
-Oh, Geoff, please! - Motherland

-Where's my paper, my newspaper? -Oh, Geoff, please!

-What? No, you can do that.
-No, it's one adult per two non-swimmers. - Motherland

-What? No, you can do that. -No, it's one adult per tw...

I really want to make sure we don't get
the same old cake sale crap this year. - Motherland

I really want to make sure we don't get the same old c...

-Why don't we have a nanny again?
-What? No, I've told you... - Motherland

-Why don't we have a nanny again? -What? No, I've...

I really want the children to be
brought up the way I was. - Motherland

I really want the children to be brought up the way I was.

Why don't we make it
so that everyone gets a chance to host? - Motherland

Why don't we make it so that everyone gets a chance to...

-Delivery.
-Give my hat back now! - Motherland

-Delivery. -Give my hat back now!

Look at me! I can't, I can't...
Look at my hair, my jacket! - Motherland

Look at me! I can't, I can't... Look at my hair, ...

What am I going to do for the rest
of the week? I work too, you know. - Motherland

What am I going to do for the rest of the week? I work too,...

-Is that a little cat grave?
-No. No, it's just a raised flower bed. - Motherland

-Is that a little cat grave? -No. No, it's just a rais...

Yeah, I know, and listen, whatever
you decide, I am right behind you. - Motherland

Yeah, I know, and listen, whatever you decide, I am right b...

Just off the top of my head, we could do
an... auction of promises. - Motherland

Just off the top of my head, we could do an... auction of p...

The gusset sticker's still attached,
so it's hygienic as hell. - Motherland

The gusset sticker's still attached, so it's hygi...

Motherland poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

This is a programme about navigating the trials and traumas of middle-class motherhood. It looks at the competitive side and unromantic take on parenting--not the cute, acceptable face of motherhood.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: N/A

Writer: Sharon Horgan, Holly Walsh, Graham Linehan

Production:

Genre: comedy

Year: 2017

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 8.0

BoxOffice:

Released: 07 Nov 2017

Awards: Won 1 BAFTA Award5 wins & 16 nominations total

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