My girlfriend is American, but she is desperate for our child to have a British accent....

Zack:

My girlfriend is American, but she is desperate for our child to have a British accent. That's all she wants. She won't talk to our child, seriously. I have to read to Katie every night. All the other kids are watching Sesame Street. Our baby is sat down in front of Downton Abbey. You notice I say "girlfriend," five years, we're still not married, and, boy, have I asked. It was a struggle enough to get her to update her Facebook profile from "single." I was like, "Five years, we have a child together. "Couldn't you at least make it, 'it's complicated'?" And it makes it awkward, though, like, how do you introduce each other? When I introduce Kristin, I introduce her as the light of my life, the song of my soul, the mother of my child. And she introduces me as her roommate