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"Mr & Mrs Smith" quotes

Mr & Mrs Smith poster
A bored married couple is surprised to learn that they are both assassins hired by competing agencies to kill each other.

Director: Doug Liman
Writer: Simon Kinberg
Production: N/A
Genre: action, comedy, crime
Year: 2005
MetaScore: 55/100
ImdbRating: 6.5
BoxOffice: $186,336,279
Released: 10 Jun 2005
Awards: 9 wins & 18 nominations

103 video clips

John SmithJane SmithEddieLuckyMom #1JasmineGwenJulie - Associate #1Breakfast Diner WaitressMickey - Dive Bar Patron #1Martin ColemanJohn SmithJane SmithEddieLuckyMom #1JasmineGwenJulie - Associate #1Breakfast Diner WaitressMartin Coleman
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I don't exactly keep count but - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:26 I don't exactly keep count but If you don't like 'em we can take 'em back - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:12 If you don't like 'em we can take 'em back Your aim's as bad as your cooking sweetheart - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:10 Your aim's as bad as your cooking sweetheart Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished yet - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:07 Happy endings are just stories that haven't finished... You still alive baby - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:04 You still alive baby Any last words The new curtains are hideous - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 Any last words The new curtains are hideous Dance with me - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:12 Dance with me Ask us the sex question - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 Ask us the sex question Why do I get the girl gun - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:10 Why do I get the girl gun You gotta take her out head on Don't tell me how to handle my wife - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:06 You gotta take her out head on Don't tell me how to... John my parents - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:18 John my parents We have an unusual problem Jane - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:11 We have an unusual problem Jane Come to Daddy - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:14 Come to Daddy Tell me how many - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:36 Tell me how many We'll talk about this later - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 We'll talk about this later That vacation in Aspen - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:17 That vacation in Aspen Can't believe I brought my real parents to our wedding - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 Can't believe I brought my real parents to our wedding Fuckers get younger every year - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 Fuckers get younger every year They're bulletproof - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:07 They're bulletproof I told you not to bother me at the office honey - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:11 I told you not to bother me at the office honey I'm getting married What I can't hear you - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:11 I'm getting married What I can't hear you There's this huge space between us - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:14 There's this huge space between us Nick Shut up - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:04 Nick Shut up That's the second time you tried to kill me It was just a little bomb - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:06 That's the second time you tried to kill me It was just... Option A You talk we listen no pain - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:19 Option A You talk we listen no pain Careful I can push the button any time anywhere - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:08 Careful I can push the button any time anywhere Tell me you got smart and that you killed that lying bitch - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:11 Tell me you got smart and that you killed that lying bitch You get a look at him Little thing Buck ten buck fifteen tops - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:20 You get a look at him Little thing Buck ten buck fifteen... You're home early I missed you - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:09 You're home early I missed you Can I get a soda Or ajuice or some - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:13 Can I get a soda Or ajuice or some You expect me to roll over and play dead Should be used to it after five years - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:11 You expect me to roll over and play dead Should be used to... Baby hold steady now It's called evasive driving sweetheart - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:08 Baby hold steady now It's called evasive driving... It's all John sweetheart - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:04 It's all John sweetheart You witnessed the missus and I working through some domestic issues - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:35 You witnessed the missus and I working through some domestic... You should so not be allowed to buy these things - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 You should so not be allowed to buy these things These doors are handy - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:04 These doors are handy Oh we redid the house We did Yes we did - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:06 Oh we redid the house We did Yes we did Same old same old People need killing - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 Same old same old People need killing First time we met what was your first thought - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:33 First time we met what was your first thought On a scale of one to ten how happy a couple are you - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:15 On a scale of one to ten how happy a couple are you What's going on Mrs Smith - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:07 What's going on Mrs Smith What is it kid You looking for ajob or something - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:25 What is it kid You looking for ajob or something You didn't wait for my signal I improvised - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:37 You didn't wait for my signal I improvised I'm slightly colour blind - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:04 I'm slightly colour blind So what do we do - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:15 So what do we do You ever have trouble sleeping after - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:09 You ever have trouble sleeping after Describe how you first met - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:15 Describe how you first met Mom we're on high alert here I almost killed you right then - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:11 Mom we're on high alert here I almost killed you right... We're gonna have to redo every conversation we've ever had - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:07 We're gonna have to redo every conversation we've... Guy's had my barbecue set for months - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 Guy's had my barbecue set for months You didn't hear me that night the chopper dropped me off for our anniversary dinner - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:14 You didn't hear me that night the chopper dropped me... That left of yours A thing of beauty You take it well - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 That left of yours A thing of beauty You take it well Sweet Jesus Mother of God - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:04 Sweet Jesus Mother of God Jane it's your husband - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 Jane it's your husband Including the weekend Sure - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 Including the weekend Sure You a vegan No - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:07 You a vegan No Retinal scarring I can't feel anything in these three fingers - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:07 Retinal scarring I can't feel anything in these three... What the hell was that What You said goodbye - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:07 What the hell was that What You said goodbye Any other details besides her weight class Laptop - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:10 Any other details besides her weight class Laptop Well it shouldn't be that difficult I mean how many chicks are hitters out there - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:30 Well it shouldn't be that difficult I mean how many... How often do you have sex - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:08 How often do you have sex Oh look More desert - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:04 Oh look More desert What the hell happened to you My wife - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:33 What the hell happened to you My wife You live with your mom I choose to - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:08 You live with your mom I choose to Have you been selling big guns to bad people - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 Have you been selling big guns to bad people Let's just call this what it is - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 Let's just call this what it is What Your husband is the shooter - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:11 What Your husband is the shooter You are the job - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:29 You are the job To dodging bullets Love Jane - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:04 To dodging bullets Love Jane I was never in the Peace Corps What - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:06 I was never in the Peace Corps What Oh he's pulled something - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 Oh he's pulled something You're in trouble now - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:03 You're in trouble now I'll race you there baby - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 I'll race you there baby I'm in love She's smart sexy - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:20 I'm in love She's smart sexy Hey hon Hey baby I didn't hear you downstairs - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:32 Hey hon Hey baby I didn't hear you downstairs Come on let's go see the girls Don't stray too far guys - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:09 Come on let's go see the girls Don't stray too far... You there yet - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:19 You there yet Hiya stranger - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:11 Hiya stranger I didn't go to MIT Really - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:17 I didn't go to MIT Really I have a theory Newly formed - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:29 I have a theory Newly formed Satisfied - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:08 Satisfied Tempting But I don't get out of bed for less than half a million dollars - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:09 Tempting But I don't get out of bed for less than half... Web of lies - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:13 Web of lies She makes me snacks I'm the dumb guy - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:12 She makes me snacks I'm the dumb guy Allow me sweetheart - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 Allow me sweetheart You saying that you had your ass handed to you by some girl - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:15 You saying that you had your ass handed to you by some girl You were bait or you are bait - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:05 You were bait or you are bait You want a Cuban - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:21 You want a Cuban There's nowhere I'd rather be than right here with you - Mr & Mrs Smith 00:11 There's nowhere I'd rather be than right here with...
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Cast

John Smith - Brad Pitt
Jane Smith - Angelina Jolie
Eddie - Vince Vaughn
Benjamin Danz - Adam Brody
Jasmine - Kerry Washington
All Cast