O that she were here to write me down an ass! But, masters, remember that I am an ass;...

Dogberry:

Thou naughty varlet! Conrade:
Away! You are an ass! You are an *ass*. Dogberry:
Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years? [Conrade escorted away] Dogberry:
O that she were here to write me down an ass! But, masters, remember that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass. No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow, and, which is more, an officer, and, which is more, a householder, and, which is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Messina, and one that knows the law, go to; and a rich fellow enough, go to; and one that hath had losses, and one that hath two gowns and every thing handsome about him. O that I had been writ down an ass!