Murder by Death quotes

Murder by Death poster
Five famous literary detective characters and their sidekicks are invited to a bizarre mansion to solve an even stranger mystery.

Director: Robert Moore
Writer: Neil Simon
Production: Sony Pictures Entertainment
Year: 1976
MetaScore: 62/100
ImdbRating: 7.4
BoxOffice: N/A
Released: 23 Jun 1976
Awards: Nominated for 1 Golden Globe. Another 1 nomination.

127 Clips & Quotes

The last time that I trusted a dame was in Paris in 1940 - Murder by Death 00:38 The last time that I trusted a dame was in Paris in 1940 From the inside - Murder by Death 00:22 From the inside Conversation like television set on honeymoon - Murder by Death 00:16 Conversation like television set on honeymoon Who do you think is the murderer - Murder by Death 00:33 Who do you think is the murderer I don't hear nothin' - Murder by Death 00:18 I don't hear nothin' My name is Bensonmum - Murder by Death 00:41 My name is Bensonmum Miss Skeffington - Murder by Death 00:33 Miss Skeffington I can't help it - Murder by Death 00:22 I can't help it You've tricked and fooled your readers for years - Murder by Death 01:41 You've tricked and fooled your readers for years If condition does not change - Murder by Death 00:16 If condition does not change Be careful on this road - Murder by Death 00:28 Be careful on this road How do I look so young - Murder by Death 00:29 How do I look so young Another diversion - Murder by Death 01:15 Another diversion Where you find key - Murder by Death 00:22 Where you find key Twain picked up Sam in a gay bar - Murder by Death 00:24 Twain picked up Sam in a gay bar Or WASN'T there - Murder by Death 00:22 Or WASN'T there Don't let him park the car - Murder by Death 00:17 Don't let him park the car As the only survivor - Murder by Death 00:25 As the only survivor Whatever you do - Murder by Death 00:34 Whatever you do I thought they always looked like that - Murder by Death 00:26 I thought they always looked like that She murdered herself in her sleep - Murder by Death 00:21 She murdered herself in her sleep That drives me crazy - Murder by Death 00:17 That drives me crazy Room filled with empty people - Murder by Death 00:13 Room filled with empty people Something isn't right in all of this - Murder by Death 00:48 Something isn't right in all of this What meaning of this - Murder by Death 00:55 What meaning of this Just as I thought - Murder by Death 00:41 Just as I thought Look all over him - Murder by Death 00:54 Look all over him I never did nothin' to a man that I wouldn't do to a woman - Murder by Death 00:19 I never did nothin' to a man that I wouldn't do to a woman Did you see that - Murder by Death 00:10 Did you see that He was arrested in 1932 in Chicago for selling pornographic Bibles - Murder by Death 00:36 He was arrested in 1932 in Chicago for selling pornographic... Voice come from cow on wall - Murder by Death 00:13 Voice come from cow on wall Very interesting theory - Murder by Death 00:26 Very interesting theory Here's the bridge - Murder by Death 00:49 Here's the bridge Ten people for dinner - Murder by Death 00:28 Ten people for dinner Everything here has been rented for tonight - Murder by Death 00:26 Everything here has been rented for tonight Why do I do all the dirty work - Murder by Death 00:21 Why do I do all the dirty work He was very good to me - Murder by Death 00:38 He was very good to me With a thing like that in his back - Murder by Death 00:20 With a thing like that in his back Wouldn't you know - Murder by Death 00:28 Wouldn't you know Someone just put deadly snake in room - Murder by Death 00:21 Someone just put deadly snake in room But question very hard - Murder by Death 00:12 But question very hard What do you mean - Murder by Death 00:49 What do you mean You say you know who's going to get it - Murder by Death 00:48 You say you know who's going to get it Now let's see what we have here - Murder by Death 00:58 Now let's see what we have here I will tell everyone that you wear a toupee - Murder by Death 00:30 I will tell everyone that you wear a toupee You work hard for fifty bucks a day in this racket - Murder by Death 00:26 You work hard for fifty bucks a day in this racket I don't understand - Murder by Death 00:27 I don't understand I'm not a Frenchie - Murder by Death 00:11 I'm not a Frenchie There's nothing on him 'til '46 - Murder by Death 00:49 There's nothing on him 'til '46 Since we cannot call for a doctor - Murder by Death 00:36 Since we cannot call for a doctor We're all experienced criminologists - Murder by Death 00:49 We're all experienced criminologists I have to go to the can again - Murder by Death 00:18 I have to go to the can again I don't think I'm gonna make it - Murder by Death 00:24 I don't think I'm gonna make it You feed cat dog food - Murder by Death 00:27 You feed cat dog food This dust is baking flour - Murder by Death 00:34 This dust is baking flour I think butler is dead - Murder by Death 00:20 I think butler is dead My wine is not poisoned - Murder by Death 00:16 My wine is not poisoned You all mistake what you assume - Murder by Death 00:37 You all mistake what you assume You've saved our lives - Murder by Death 00:56 You've saved our lives Look at invitation - Murder by Death 00:15 Look at invitation First they steal the body and leave the clothes - Murder by Death 00:40 First they steal the body and leave the clothes What do you make of all of this - Murder by Death 00:22 What do you make of all of this I smell something - Murder by Death 00:27 I smell something We're going to have a lovely murderpoo - Murder by Death 00:15 We're going to have a lovely murderpoo That's probably the cook - Murder by Death 00:18 That's probably the cook I'm not one to use hyperbole - Murder by Death 00:38 I'm not one to use hyperbole Why don't you push her wheelchair down the driveway - Murder by Death 00:22 Why don't you push her wheelchair down the driveway Sounded as though somebody snipped the wire - Murder by Death 00:20 Sounded as though somebody snipped the wire And nobody knows what tomorrow will be - Murder by Death 00:31 And nobody knows what tomorrow will be My feet are killing me - Murder by Death 00:24 My feet are killing me May I get your bags - Murder by Death 00:20 May I get your bags I'm going down the hall to find the can - Murder by Death 00:40 I'm going down the hall to find the can Isn't that right - Murder by Death 00:42 Isn't that right Observe strange sounds - Murder by Death 00:45 Observe strange sounds You know how I get when you touch me there - Murder by Death 00:35 You know how I get when you touch me there You pit your wits with me - Murder by Death 00:24 You pit your wits with me Man who argue with cow on wall is like train without wheels - Murder by Death 00:37 Man who argue with cow on wall is like train without wheels I don't like it one bit - Murder by Death 00:20 I don't like it one bit Monsieur Perrier - Murder by Death 00:30 Monsieur Perrier Bizarre little twit - Murder by Death 00:11 Bizarre little twit Except for the fact that he's dead - Murder by Death 00:24 Except for the fact that he's dead Where's my Dickie - Murder by Death 00:14 Where's my Dickie We're in Wang's wing - Murder by Death 00:14 We're in Wang's wing Where is the soup - Murder by Death 00:19 Where is the soup Inspector Perrier - Murder by Death 00:20 Inspector Perrier With our dinner - Murder by Death 00:30 With our dinner Sorry about that - Murder by Death 01:11 Sorry about that How he know how much he get paid - Murder by Death 00:20 How he know how much he get paid What an entrance - Murder by Death 00:10 What an entrance The world's five greatest living detectives - Murder by Death 02:28 The world's five greatest living detectives Someone's tryin' to KILL us - Murder by Death 00:38 Someone's tryin' to KILL us The nurse is giving my palm the finger - Murder by Death 00:19 The nurse is giving my palm the finger This is a wild goose chase - Murder by Death 03:48 This is a wild goose chase What a godforsaken spot to get lost - Murder by Death 00:24 What a godforsaken spot to get lost His mother was a Roman Catholic - Murder by Death 00:29 His mother was a Roman Catholic You mean Twain has only got eight fingers - Murder by Death 00:22 You mean Twain has only got eight fingers Her name's Irene - Murder by Death 00:23 Her name's Irene We have been expecting you - Murder by Death 00:17 We have been expecting you Big house like man married to fat woman - Murder by Death 00:19 Big house like man married to fat woman The lady here in the rented dress is my secretary and mistress - Murder by Death 00:24 The lady here in the rented dress is my secretary and... I don't feel good about this - Murder by Death 00:39 I don't feel good about this Never consider murder to be business - Murder by Death 00:14 Never consider murder to be business I trust you've all been made comfortable - Murder by Death 00:31 I trust you've all been made comfortable Have admired you ever since I was tiny little detective - Murder by Death 00:18 Have admired you ever since I was tiny little detective I refuse to discuss this with wives - Murder by Death 00:14 I refuse to discuss this with wives What do you make of all this - Murder by Death 00:13 What do you make of all this Doors and windows will automatically open at dawn - Murder by Death 00:39 Doors and windows will automatically open at dawn I want you to know - Murder by Death 00:35 I want you to know Should have adopted pussycat - Murder by Death 00:13 Should have adopted pussycat But I was talking about patricide - Murder by Death 00:14 But I was talking about patricide That's a pretty tacky thing to say - Murder by Death 00:19 That's a pretty tacky thing to say You have chocolate on your face - Murder by Death 00:33 You have chocolate on your face Go back in kitchen - Murder by Death 00:38 Go back in kitchen Maybe I'm just a patsy being set up take the fall - Murder by Death 00:37 Maybe I'm just a patsy being set up take the fall Why do you keep all those naked muscle men magazines in your office - Murder by Death 00:26 Why do you keep all those naked muscle men magazines in your... Butler only killed to divert us from real murder still to come - Murder by Death 00:20 Butler only killed to divert us from real murder still to... I beg your your pardon - Murder by Death 00:54 I beg your your pardon I prefer to be called - Murder by Death 00:11 I prefer to be called I've already heard the weather report - Murder by Death 01:17 I've already heard the weather report He was a most cruel man - Murder by Death 00:25 He was a most cruel man What number of house - Murder by Death 00:11 What number of house You should see the other guy - Murder by Death 00:20 You should see the other guy Twain has macabre sense of humor - Murder by Death 00:14 Twain has macabre sense of humor You're spitting on the nurse - Murder by Death 00:13 You're spitting on the nurse I hope he knows how to stop that thing - Murder by Death 00:15 I hope he knows how to stop that thing She died in here - Murder by Death 00:29 She died in here We keep this room locked - Murder by Death 00:33 We keep this room locked

Cast

Tess Skeffington - Eileen Brennan
Lionel Twain - Truman Capote
Milo Perrier - James Coco
Sam Diamond - Peter Falk
Bensonmum - Alec Guinness
Jessica Marbles - Elsa Lanchester
Dick Charleston - David Niven
Sidney Wang - Peter Sellers
Dora Charleston - Maggie Smith
Willie Wang - Richard Narita
Myron the Dog - Myron
Screaming Door Bell (archive sound) - Fay Wray