Look up (and, obviously also WATCH!) a farcical indie film by two of the original FIRESIGN THEATER troupe (Proctor and Bergman, creative geniusii) ...
"J-MEN FOREVER!"
They bought up the rights to a bunch of old Republic or RKO serials and did a Woody Allen thing (re-edit, rewrite, re-word, "What's Up, Tiger Lily?") and the results are hilarious!
There's a scene where one of the Martians, wearing a skull-cap costume, exits the classic rocket ship, carrying a big box of something. One of the human thugs overseeing the shipment says,
"Hey, wasn't that Leonard Nimoy?"
The other guy says, "I dunno, I couldn't see his ears!"
(hint: it was!)
Skinner: [seeing a ladle in Linguini's hand] YOU ARE COOKING?!!! HOW DARE YOU COOK IN MY KITCHEN!!! Where do get the gall to attempt something so monumentally idiotic?! I SHOULD HAVE HAVE YOU DRAWN AND QUARTERED!! I'LL DO IT!!!! I think the law is on my side! Larousse, draw and quarter this man! *After* you put him in the duck press to squeeze the fat out of his head! [as he's shouting, Lalo ladles some soup into a tureen and brings it to the waiter] Linguini: Oh no no no, OH NO, don't let them, don't eat...
Skinner: WHAT ARE YOU BLATHERING ABOUT?!!!!?!!!?! Linguini: ...the SOUP!!! Skinner: [sees the soup going out runs to stop it] Soup?! STOP THAT SOUP!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [bursts into the dining room to the stares of the diners, retreats back into the kitchen and watches through the window as the waiter serves the soup] Solene LeClaire: [tasting the soup] Waiter! Skinner: [gasps] Linguini! You're fired! F-I-R-E-D!! FIRED!!!! Mustafa: She wants to see the chef. Mustafa: [scared] B-but he... [clears his throat and goes to speak to the customer; Colette tastes the soup; Skinner re-enters] Colette: What did the customer say? Mustafa: It was not a customer. It was a critic. Colette: Ego? Skinner: Solene LeClaire. Colette: LeClaire. What did she say? Mustafa: She likes the soup.
Okay, so let's think this out. You know how to cook, and I know how to, appear human! We just need to work out a system so that I do what you want, in a way that doesn't look like I'm being controlled by a tiny rat chef - oh will you LISTEN TO ME?! I'M INSANE, I'M INSANE, I'M INSANE!! I'M IN THE REFRIGERATOR TALKING TO A RAT ABOUT COOKING IN THE GOURMET RESTAURANT I WILL NEVER PULL THIS OUT!!! - Linguini???
Okay, so let's think this out. You know how to cook, and I know how to, appear human! We just need to work out a system so that I do what you want, in a way that doesn't look like I'm being controlled by a tiny rat chef - oh will you LISTEN TO ME?! I'M INSANE, I'M INSANE, I'M INSANE!! I'M IN THE REFRIDGERATOR TALKING TO A RAT ABOUT COOKING IN THE GOURMET RESTAURANT I WILL NEVER PULL THIS OUT!!! - Linguini???
Okay, so let's think this out. You know how to cook, and I know how to... appear human. We just need to work out a system so that I do what you want, in a way that doesn't look like I'm being controlled by a tiny rat chef - oh will you LISTEN TO ME?! I'M INSANE, I'M INSANE, I'M INSANE!! I'M IN THE REFRIDGERATOR TALKING TO A RAT ABOUT COOKING IN THE GOURMET RESTAURANT I WILL NEVER PULL THIS OUT! - Linguini???
[Joy is trying to drive a memory forklift while Anger, Disgust and Fear argue]
Fear: This whole trip is just a series of deader and deader and deader ends!
Anger: Ever since that alarm went off, nothing around here works!
Fear: And I have never been inside so many jars in my life.
Disgust: And the Riley we knew is gone!
Anger: AND IF JOY CAN'T SEE THAT, WELL THEN, SHE'S DELUSIONAL!!
[Joy faces them]
Joy: [innocently] Delusional?... OF COURSE I'M DELUSIONAL!!!!!! Do you know how hard it is to stay positive all the time, when all you folks do is complain, complain, complain?!! JIMINY MOTHER LOVING TOASTER STRUDEL!!! [Joy proceeds to kick at the controls of the memory forklift. The emotions look shocked, except for Anger, who gives an appreciative smile] Do you think I know all the answers?! OF COURSE I DON'T! [Joy's face falls and she curls up into a ball on the floor in defeat] Joy: We can't even find the back of our own mind. Anxiety is right, Riley doesn't need us as much as she needs them! [CRYING] And it hurts! It really does! [the emotions stare at her in sympathy and then look at each other. They have never seen Joy crumble before. Anger steps forward] Joy, you've made a lot of mistakes and you'll make a whole lot more in the future, but if you let *that* stop you, *we* might as well lie down and give up. [Disgust slaps Fear, signalling him to shut up] [holding his hand out and helping Joy to her feet] Come on!
