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JESS Are you literally

I would love that little baby with all my heart. Even if I did show it by picking him up...

New Girl • S02E09 • 2011

Nick Miller:
Jess has absolutely lost her mind. Jess:
I have not lost my mind! I'm just scared. Nick Miller:
Would you trust me? You're gonna be fine. You're gonna meet somebody and fall in love and then before you know it you're gonna [makes popping sounds] Jess:
With who, Nick? Who's gonna lay a flag down on this sweet, sweet continent? Schmidt:
I'll man up. But I must warn you, Jess - I don't have sperms. I have tadpoles. Of the gods. And I'm gonna give 'em to you. You can have 'em all for all I care. That's how much I love you. I feel your pain in this situation. I want you to have babies. Take my sperms. Winston Bishop:
No. It should be me, Jess. Jess:
[baffled]
What? Winston Bishop:
With your big, beautiful blue eyes and my Blair Underwood-like skin, we'd have the most beautiful baby the world has ever seen. Schmidt:
He's not wrong. It could get into any school it wants. Jess:
To be clear, I haven't asked any of you to impregnate me. I think it's important that's been said. Nick Miller:
Good. 'Cause it's definitely not me. Jess:
Cause it's definitely not you. Nick Miller:
I would love that little baby with all my heart. Even if I did show it by picking him up from school in my underwear and hitting on the crossing guard

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:01.783

JESS Are you literally

00:00:01.825 --> 00:00:04.998

comparing a zombie novel

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to my ability to create life

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I'm a writer Jess We create life

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Ugh Being a woman sucks

00:00:09.791 --> 00:00:11.661

Preaching to the choir Women are the worst

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Seriously can you please stop yelling

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All right now it's no big deal

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but I'm on an adjusted schedule

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Sorry about this Jess has absolutely lost her mind

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I have not lost my mind Yeah you have

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I'm just scared

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NICK Would you trust me

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You're gonna be fine

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You're gonna meet somebody and

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you're gonna fall in love and then

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before you know it you're gonna

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JESS With who Nick

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Who's gonna lay a flag down

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on this sweet sweet continent

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I'll man up But I must warn you

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Jess I don't have sperms

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I have tadpoles

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Of the gods

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That's right

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And I'm gonna give 'em to you

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You can have 'em all for all I care

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That's how much I love you

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I feel your pain in this situation

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I want you to have babies

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Take my sperms

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No It should be me Jess

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What With your big beautiful blue eyes

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and my Blair Underwood like skin Mm hmm

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we'd have the most beautiful baby the world has ever seen He's not wrong

00:01:01.997 --> 00:01:03.279

It could get into any school it wants Mm hmm

00:01:03.322 --> 00:01:07.005

To be clear I haven't asked any of you to impregnate me

00:01:07.001 --> 00:01:09.072

I think it's important that that's been said

00:01:09.764 --> 00:01:11.006

Good 'cause it's definitely not me

00:01:11.003 --> 00:01:12.896

Good 'cause it's definitely not you

00:01:12.941 --> 00:01:15.813

I would love that little baby with all my heart

00:01:15.999 --> 00:01:17.206

Even if I did show it

00:01:17.025 --> 00:01:18.999

by picking him up from school

00:01:18.025 --> 00:01:19.294

in my underwear and

00:01:19.999 --> 00:01:21.471

hitting on the crossing guard

Duration

82 seconds

Views

373

Timestamp in Movie

00:08:20

Uploaded

Mar 04, 2023

Season

2

Episode

9

Genres

comedy, romance

Production

Fís Éireann/Screen Ireland,Number 9 Films,Parallel Film Productions,Pathé

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Movie Summary

After a bad break-up, Jess, an offbeat young woman, moves into an apartment loft with three single men. Although they find her behavior very unusual, the men support her - most of the time.