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Welcome to American Samoa
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Next Goal Wins

Welcometo American Samoa. With a populationof 57,534 people, {\an8}American Samoa is a...

Welcome
to American Samoa. With a population
of 57,534 people, {\an8}American Samoa is a United
States territory like Puerto Rico, but much
smaller and further away. The two main exports
are NFL players and tuna. It should not be confused with the independent nation
of Samoa with their cocky,
stuck-up people always bragging about
their 24-hour McDonald's. - Even though we are both Samoan...
- Hey. ...there are two Samoas. Can you drive faster?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.793
Welcome to American Samoa.
00:00:03.168 --> 00:00:07.002
With a population of 57,534 people,
00:00:07.298 --> 00:00:10.003
{\an8}American Samoa is a United States territory
00:00:10.384 --> 00:00:13.762
like Puerto Rico, but much smaller and further away.
00:00:14.096 --> 00:00:17.725
The two main exports are NFL players and tuna.
00:00:18.225 --> 00:00:19.476
It should not be confused
00:00:19.056 --> 00:00:21.812
with the independent nation of Samoa
00:00:21.979 --> 00:00:24.106
with their cocky, stuck-up people
00:00:24.315 --> 00:00:27.276
always bragging about their 24-hour McDonald's.
00:00:27.443 --> 00:00:29.194
- Even though we are both Samoan... - Hey.
00:00:29.278 --> 00:00:30.571
...there are two Samoas.
00:00:30.738 --> 00:00:32.156
Can you drive faster?
Duration
33 seconds
Views
69
Timestamp in Movie
00:14:52
Uploaded
Apr 12, 2025
Genres
comedy, drama, sport
Production
The Imaginarium,Searchlight Pictures,TSG Entertainment,Garrett Basch Productions,Defender Films,Archer's Mark

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Movie Summary

The story of the infamously terrible American Samoa soccer team, known for a brutal 2001 FIFA match they lost 31-0.
Oh, I would never break the speed limit. - Next Goal Wins 00:16
Oh, I would never break the speed limit.
Oh, that's your car, - Next Goal Wins 00:06
Oh, that's your car,
And now, the pièce de résidence. - Next Goal Wins 00:05
And now, the pièce de résidence.
And he is available seven-twenty-four - Next Goal Wins 00:06
And he is available seven-twenty-four
And I will leave this Welcome to American Samoa video here - Next Goal Wins 00:08
And I will leave this Welcome to American Samoa video here
All I want from our team is just one goal. - Next Goal Wins 00:05
All I want from our team is just one goal.
Hello? Can I use the phone? - Next Goal Wins 00:05
Hello? Can I use the phone?
Rongen won the MLS - Next Goal Wins 00:19
Rongen won the MLS
Coach Rongen has - Next Goal Wins 00:19
Coach Rongen has
I see you found our conveniently - Next Goal Wins 00:06
I see you found our conveniently
Ah, and it's really sore, and you fall down. Hollywood. - Next Goal Wins 00:05
Ah, and it's really sore, and you fall down. Hollywood.
Oh, nice. Now, we're gonna practice pointing and blaming - Next Goal Wins 00:07
Oh, nice. Now, we're gonna practice pointing and blamin...
You have zero talent, skill or understanding of the game. - Next Goal Wins 00:06
You have zero talent, skill or understanding of the game.
That is why we're gonna work on two very simple things. - Next Goal Wins 00:07
That is why we're gonna work on two very simple things.
Cacio and the pepe. - Next Goal Wins 00:05
Cacio and the pepe.
Simple dish but when made well, exquisite. - Next Goal Wins 00:05
Simple dish but when made well, exquisite.
Cheese and pepper! Come on, let's go! Go! - Next Goal Wins 00:05
Cheese and pepper! Come on, let's go! Go!
Oh, no, I don't know where the women's team train, - Next Goal Wins 00:06
Oh, no, I don't know where the women's team train,
Okay. Good one. - Next Goal Wins 00:06
Okay. Good one.
Wow, a ball! Mr. Miyagi is really shaking things up. - Next Goal Wins 00:05
Wow, a ball! Mr. Miyagi is really shaking things up.