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But if I could, oh, I'd do this, and I'd stretch it
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Nikki Glaser: Bangin'

But if I could, oh, I'd do this,and I'd stretch it

But if I could, oh, I'd do this,
and I'd stretch it

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.254
But if I could, oh, I'd do this, and I'd stretch it.
Duration
4 seconds
Views
23
Timestamp in Movie
00:54:50
Uploaded
Jun 13, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Den of Thieves

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Movie Summary

Nikki Glaser bares all in a blistering stand-up special about sex, sobriety and getting over her own insecurities. And she won't spare you the details.
They don't care, until they wake up - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
They don't care, until they wake up
But I'm serious, guys, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
But I'm serious, guys,
And I've tried different ways to avoid getting fingered while dry. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
And I've tried different ways to avoid getting fingered...
That's why my pants keep getting higher and higher, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
That's why my pants keep getting higher and higher,
I'm just like, "Get wet. Get wet for the summer. Get wet." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:19
I'm just like, "Get wet. Get wet for the summer. G...
[crowd laughing] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:13
[crowd laughing]
Like, just do that and I'm like, "Umm..." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
Like, just do that and I'm like, "Umm..."
Oh God. I asked my friend the other day, I'm like, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:09
Oh God. I asked my friend the other day, I'm like,
I think that's pretty cool." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
I think that's pretty cool."
Whisper in my ear that you're ready to address your anger with your dad, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
Whisper in my ear that you're ready to address your ang...
You'll get an alert on your phone about a flash flood, I'll get wet so fast. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
You'll get an alert on your phone about a flash flood, ...
[imitates an alarm wailing] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
[imitates an alarm wailing]
I can get wet. I just... Dry humping. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
I can get wet. I just... Dry humping.
I could ride a knee into the goddamn sunset. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
I could ride a knee into the goddamn sunset.
A knee clad in denim and I can just get up on it. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
A knee clad in denim and I can just get up on it.
Like Don Quixote up in this bitch. I love dry humping. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
Like Don Quixote up in this bitch. I love dry humping.
I want to invent a move called The Reverse Santa, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I want to invent a move called The Reverse Santa,
They face you sitting down, you get on their knee. You grind it out. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
They face you sitting down, you get on their knee. You grind...
They call you a good girl, and then you take a picture. And that's... - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
They call you a good girl, and then you take a picture. And ...
[crowd laughs and claps] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
[crowd laughs and claps]