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'Cause if you don't touch their penis
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Nikki Glaser: Bangin'

'Cause if you don't touch their penis then you don't have to doanything about it

'Cause if you don't touch their penis then you don't have to do
anything about it

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.046
'Cause if you don't touch their penis
00:00:02.544 --> 00:00:04.212
then you don't have to do anything about it.
Duration
4 seconds
Views
26
Timestamp in Movie
00:41:12
Uploaded
Jun 13, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Den of Thieves

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Movie Summary

Nikki Glaser bares all in a blistering stand-up special about sex, sobriety and getting over her own insecurities. And she won't spare you the details.
That's a trick I learned, it's like, if you touch their hard dick, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:12
That's a trick I learned, it's like, if you touch ...
At the end of a date, I always keep my hands up here, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
At the end of a date, I always keep my hands up here,
I probably... It's always between, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:10
I probably... It's always between,
Especially me, like, if I'm nervous about a date, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:10
Especially me, like, if I'm nervous about a date,
So, I'm starving at this point and I'm just like, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:17
So, I'm starving at this point and I'm just like,
That doesn't fit either scenario, but we had fun. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
That doesn't fit either scenario, but we had fun.
But then you touch it, and I do like a hot stove now, I'm like, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:16
But then you touch it, and I do like a hot stove now, I'...
You either have to do something to it, or you have to tell him - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
You either have to do something to it, or you have to tell h...
And you're just like, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
And you're just like,
I'm better at sucking dick than I am at sharing my true feelings. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
I'm better at sucking dick than I am at sharing my true...
And so, I blow a guy to avoid telling him the truth. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
And so, I blow a guy to avoid telling him the truth.
Now, I'm like, "I have to blow you?" - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
Now, I'm like, "I have to blow you?"
I'm trying to get better, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:13
I'm trying to get better,
Kind of took over and and treated my head like a bird house. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
Kind of took over and and treated my head like a bird house.
That's how I got through it, is pretending I'm a birdhouse. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
That's how I got through it, is pretending I'm a b...
I just... I have no rhythm. I have no natural rhythm. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I just... I have no rhythm. I have no natural rhythm.
And so, I actually was like, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:14
And so, I actually was like,
Most girls do not like when you grab their head - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
Most girls do not like when you grab their head
'Cause then I can focus on what I'm actually good at, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:11
'Cause then I can focus on what I'm actually good ...
[crowd laughs] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
[crowd laughs]