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Nikki Glaser: Bangin'

All I knew about penisesat this point in my life were that they're these noodly...

[crowd laughing] All I knew about penises
at this point in my life were that they're these noodly things
that hung between a guy's legs, they pee from them,
and you shouldn't look at your cousin JD's when you guys are getting changed
to go swimming

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.998
[crowd laughing]
00:00:03.752 --> 00:00:05.796
All I knew about penises at this point in my life were
00:00:05.921 --> 00:00:08.382
that they're these noodly things that hung between a guy's legs,
00:00:08.465 --> 00:00:10.967
they pee from them, and you shouldn't look at your cousin JD's
00:00:11.001 --> 00:00:12.678
when you guys are getting changed to go swimming.
Duration
13 seconds
Views
34
Timestamp in Movie
00:02:00
Uploaded
Jun 13, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Den of Thieves

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Movie Summary

Nikki Glaser bares all in a blistering stand-up special about sex, sobriety and getting over her own insecurities. And she won't spare you the details.
[crowd laughs] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:09
[crowd laughs]
Like, stick whatever you want down there, I can’t taste it, okay? - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
Like, stick whatever you want down there, I can’t taste it, ...
So, I was like, "Who cares about my vagina? - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
So, I was like, "Who cares about my vagina?
Like, I can't believe you would put a dick there." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
Like, I can't believe you would put a dick there."
And you like... You kind of go, "Maybe I don't have to do it, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:10
And you like... You kind of go, "Maybe I don't hav...
'Cause I knew homeplate was sex, and if I ever wanted to have sex, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:09
'Cause I knew homeplate was sex, and if I ever wanted t...
You can't skip a base, if you want kids you're going to have to suck some dicks - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
You can't skip a base, if you want kids you're goi...
[crowd laughs] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
[crowd laughs]
Sex made sense 'cause it makes kids. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
Sex made sense 'cause it makes kids.
[crowd laughs] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:10
[crowd laughs]
[Nikki giggles] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
[Nikki giggles]
Not today, but it's going to happen. I..." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
Not today, but it's going to happen. I..."
I feel like, you know when you find out about dying and you're like, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:10
I feel like, you know when you find out about dying and you&...
Like, those are kind of like the touchstones of a woman's life. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
Like, those are kind of like the touchstones of a woman'...
[crowd laughing] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
[crowd laughing]
And then more information about blow jobs trickles in. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
And then more information about blow jobs trickles in.
Like, okay, if you do a good job at it you're rewarded at the end - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:11
Like, okay, if you do a good job at it you're rewarded ...
Hold on, before the liquid you will know it's about to come - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
Hold on, before the liquid you will know it's about to ...
Yeah, that's a key part of this whole thing. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
Yeah, that's a key part of this whole thing.
[audience laughing] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
[audience laughing]