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I don't even look at a limp dick. Like, I wouldn't touch one
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Nikki Glaser: Bangin'

I don't even look at a limp dick.Like, I wouldn't touch one

I don't even look at a limp dick.
Like, I wouldn't touch one

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:06.172
I don't even look at a limp dick. Like, I wouldn't touch one.
Duration
6 seconds
Views
55
Timestamp in Movie
00:54:18
Uploaded
Jun 13, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Den of Thieves

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Movie Summary

Nikki Glaser bares all in a blistering stand-up special about sex, sobriety and getting over her own insecurities. And she won't spare you the details.
So, I'm like, "I won't look at it until he's ready for me to see it, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
So, I'm like, "I won't look at it until he�...
I treat it like your wedding dress. I'm just like, "I'll let him show it to me - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:13
I treat it like your wedding dress. I'm just like, &quo...
But if I could, oh, I'd do this, and I'd stretch it. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
But if I could, oh, I'd do this, and I'd stretch i...
They don't care, until they wake up - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
They don't care, until they wake up
But I'm serious, guys, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
But I'm serious, guys,
And I've tried different ways to avoid getting fingered while dry. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
And I've tried different ways to avoid getting fingered...
That's why my pants keep getting higher and higher, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
That's why my pants keep getting higher and higher,
I'm just like, "Get wet. Get wet for the summer. Get wet." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:19
I'm just like, "Get wet. Get wet for the summer. G...
[crowd laughing] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:13
[crowd laughing]
Like, just do that and I'm like, "Umm..." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
Like, just do that and I'm like, "Umm..."
Oh God. I asked my friend the other day, I'm like, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:09
Oh God. I asked my friend the other day, I'm like,
I think that's pretty cool." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
I think that's pretty cool."
Whisper in my ear that you're ready to address your anger with your dad, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
Whisper in my ear that you're ready to address your ang...
You'll get an alert on your phone about a flash flood, I'll get wet so fast. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
You'll get an alert on your phone about a flash flood, ...
[imitates an alarm wailing] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
[imitates an alarm wailing]
I can get wet. I just... Dry humping. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
I can get wet. I just... Dry humping.
I could ride a knee into the goddamn sunset. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
I could ride a knee into the goddamn sunset.
A knee clad in denim and I can just get up on it. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
A knee clad in denim and I can just get up on it.
Like Don Quixote up in this bitch. I love dry humping. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
Like Don Quixote up in this bitch. I love dry humping.
I want to invent a move called The Reverse Santa, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I want to invent a move called The Reverse Santa,