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Nikki Glaser: Bangin'

I was like, "I'm never gonna complainabout foreplay." And then I started hooking upand I'm...

I was like, "I'm never gonna complain
about foreplay." And then I started hooking up
and I'm like, "We need more foreplay." Hand me a fucking blazer
with shoulder pads in it, and give me some high-waisted jeans,
frizz-out my hair, 'cause we need more foreplay.
Like, I just

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.585
I was like, "I'm never gonna complain about foreplay."
00:00:02.668 --> 00:00:06.172
And then I started hooking up and I'm like, "We need more foreplay."
00:00:06.255 --> 00:00:09.258
Hand me a fucking blazer with shoulder pads in it,
00:00:09.341 --> 00:00:12.344
and give me some high-waisted jeans, frizz-out my hair,
00:00:12.428 --> 00:00:14.763
'cause we need more foreplay. Like, I just...
Duration
15 seconds
Views
51
Timestamp in Movie
00:53:33
Uploaded
Jun 13, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Den of Thieves

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Movie Summary

Nikki Glaser bares all in a blistering stand-up special about sex, sobriety and getting over her own insecurities. And she won't spare you the details.
I have been fingered when I'm dry so many times this year, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
I have been fingered when I'm dry so many times this ye...
You should not ever finger a dry vagina. Ever! - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
You should not ever finger a dry vagina. Ever!
When you get fingered, when you're dry, as a woman, it's the same as if we took - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:11
When you get fingered, when you're dry, as a woman, it&...
I don't even look at a limp dick. Like, I wouldn't touch one. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
I don't even look at a limp dick. Like, I wouldn't...
So, I'm like, "I won't look at it until he's ready for me to see it, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
So, I'm like, "I won't look at it until he�...
I treat it like your wedding dress. I'm just like, "I'll let him show it to me - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:13
I treat it like your wedding dress. I'm just like, &quo...
But if I could, oh, I'd do this, and I'd stretch it. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
But if I could, oh, I'd do this, and I'd stretch i...
They don't care, until they wake up - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
They don't care, until they wake up
But I'm serious, guys, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
But I'm serious, guys,
And I've tried different ways to avoid getting fingered while dry. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
And I've tried different ways to avoid getting fingered...
That's why my pants keep getting higher and higher, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
That's why my pants keep getting higher and higher,
I'm just like, "Get wet. Get wet for the summer. Get wet." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:19
I'm just like, "Get wet. Get wet for the summer. G...
[crowd laughing] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:13
[crowd laughing]
Like, just do that and I'm like, "Umm..." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
Like, just do that and I'm like, "Umm..."
Oh God. I asked my friend the other day, I'm like, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:09
Oh God. I asked my friend the other day, I'm like,
I think that's pretty cool." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
I think that's pretty cool."
Whisper in my ear that you're ready to address your anger with your dad, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
Whisper in my ear that you're ready to address your ang...
You'll get an alert on your phone about a flash flood, I'll get wet so fast. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
You'll get an alert on your phone about a flash flood, ...
[imitates an alarm wailing] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
[imitates an alarm wailing]
I can get wet. I just... Dry humping. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
I can get wet. I just... Dry humping.