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If you want to catch a dicking, go out and get one.
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Nikki Glaser: Bangin'

If you want to catch a dicking,go out and get one." It's like, I would and I used towhen I...

If you want to catch a dicking,
go out and get one." It's like, I would and I used to
when I drank, but if you're sober
you can't just have casual sex

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.585
If you want to catch a dicking, go out and get one."
00:00:03.711 --> 00:00:06.797
It's like, I would and I used to when I drank,
00:00:06.088 --> 00:00:09.055
but if you're sober you can't just have casual sex.
Duration
10 seconds
Views
28
Timestamp in Movie
00:25:56
Uploaded
Jun 13, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Den of Thieves

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Movie Summary

Nikki Glaser bares all in a blistering stand-up special about sex, sobriety and getting over her own insecurities. And she won't spare you the details.
I don't know if anyone here has had casual sex sober, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
I don't know if anyone here has had casual sex sober,
Having casual sex sober, it's really... It's a lot more intimate. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
Having casual sex sober, it's really... It's a lot...
It turns into an episode of Dawson's Creek for some reason. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
It turns into an episode of Dawson's Creek for some rea...
A Counting Crows song starts playing. I'm just like, "What's happening?" - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:11
A Counting Crows song starts playing. I'm just like, &q...
Sometimes you don't want sex to mean anything, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:09
Sometimes you don't want sex to mean anything,
If I wanted to like, get dicked out, I'd just like... - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
If I wanted to like, get dicked out, I'd just like...
[crowd laughs] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:16
[crowd laughs]
I would be penetrated that night - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
I would be penetrated that night
Did I do anal or is that bronzer?" - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
Did I do anal or is that bronzer?"
Where you're like, "Did I have sex? I don't know. I should know that." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
Where you're like, "Did I have sex? I don't k...
I'd be like, "Okay, I probably had sex." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
I'd be like, "Okay, I probably had sex."
'Cause I don't like to go to bed with a soggy vag, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
'Cause I don't like to go to bed with a soggy vag,
And so, I tuck and release, and I don't get yeast infections, girls. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
And so, I tuck and release, and I don't get yeast infec...
Like, it's a good plan if you don't want to get a yeasty, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:15
Like, it's a good plan if you don't want to get a ...
You leave behind a paper mache stalagmite on his duvet. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
You leave behind a paper mache stalagmite on his duvet.
It's not a nice way to be remembered. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
It's not a nice way to be remembered.
There are embarrassing moments like that, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:11
There are embarrassing moments like that,
And sometimes when I'm sober, I got with a guy and I'm like, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
And sometimes when I'm sober, I got with a guy and I�...
Just to be like, "Maybe I'll make some mistakes and..." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:12
Just to be like, "Maybe I'll make some mistakes an...
Your body, as a woman, when there's a penis in you, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:10
Your body, as a woman, when there's a penis in you,