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It has to be a two-man op, you're going to pay extra
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Nikki Glaser: Bangin'

It has to be a two-man op,you're going to pay extra until there's self-driving cars,...

It has to be a two-man op,
you're going to pay extra until there's self-driving cars, right,
and then

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.044
It has to be a two-man op, you're going to pay extra
00:00:03.169 --> 00:00:05.672
until there's self-driving cars, right, and then...
Duration
6 seconds
Views
29
Timestamp in Movie
00:52:20
Uploaded
Jun 13, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Den of Thieves

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Movie Summary

Nikki Glaser bares all in a blistering stand-up special about sex, sobriety and getting over her own insecurities. And she won't spare you the details.
As soon as there are self-fingering cars, I mean, you'll never hear from me again. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
As soon as there are self-fingering cars, I mean, you'l...
[crowd laughing] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:09
[crowd laughing]
And I bristle at even saying this word, but I need more foreplay. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
And I bristle at even saying this word, but I need more fore...
And I hate saying that, I never wanted to be a female comic - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:23
And I hate saying that, I never wanted to be a female comic
And then the girls would be like, "Tee-he, we relate." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:13
And then the girls would be like, "Tee-he, we relate.&q...
I should just be happy this guy wants to stick his dick in my ugly head." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
I should just be happy this guy wants to stick his dick in m...
I was like, "I'm never gonna complain about foreplay." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:15
I was like, "I'm never gonna complain about forepl...
I have been fingered when I'm dry so many times this year, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
I have been fingered when I'm dry so many times this ye...
You should not ever finger a dry vagina. Ever! - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
You should not ever finger a dry vagina. Ever!
When you get fingered, when you're dry, as a woman, it's the same as if we took - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:11
When you get fingered, when you're dry, as a woman, it&...
I don't even look at a limp dick. Like, I wouldn't touch one. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
I don't even look at a limp dick. Like, I wouldn't...
So, I'm like, "I won't look at it until he's ready for me to see it, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
So, I'm like, "I won't look at it until he�...
I treat it like your wedding dress. I'm just like, "I'll let him show it to me - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:13
I treat it like your wedding dress. I'm just like, &quo...
But if I could, oh, I'd do this, and I'd stretch it. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
But if I could, oh, I'd do this, and I'd stretch i...
They don't care, until they wake up - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
They don't care, until they wake up
But I'm serious, guys, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
But I'm serious, guys,
And I've tried different ways to avoid getting fingered while dry. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
And I've tried different ways to avoid getting fingered...
That's why my pants keep getting higher and higher, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
That's why my pants keep getting higher and higher,
I'm just like, "Get wet. Get wet for the summer. Get wet." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:19
I'm just like, "Get wet. Get wet for the summer. G...
[crowd laughing] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:13
[crowd laughing]