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I've heard about this thing for a while.
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Nikki Glaser: Bangin'

I've heard about this thing for a while."So, I go to PetSmart and I get that thing, and I...

I've heard about this thing for a while."
So, I go to PetSmart and I get that thing, and I returned it, you know?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.211
I've heard about this thing for a while." So, I go to PetSmart and I get that thing,
00:00:04.337 --> 00:00:07.465
and I returned it, you know?
Duration
7 seconds
Views
42
Timestamp in Movie
00:20:27
Uploaded
Jun 13, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Den of Thieves

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Movie Summary

Nikki Glaser bares all in a blistering stand-up special about sex, sobriety and getting over her own insecurities. And she won't spare you the details.
I was just like, "This thing bit my clit off!" - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:09
I was just like, "This thing bit my clit off!"
And now, when I go to masturbate, I just look at all my toys - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
And now, when I go to masturbate, I just look at all my toys
I don't want you thinking I'm having a bucket of dildos. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I don't want you thinking I'm having a bucket of d...
It's literally a ripped Victoria's Secret bag, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
It's literally a ripped Victoria's Secret bag,
And every time I go to masturbate I have to like look at all of them, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
And every time I go to masturbate I have to like look at all...
I'm just like, "Oh, Woody, you used to be my favorite. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I'm just like, "Oh, Woody, you used to be my favor...
I'll sit on you." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:11
I'll sit on you."
I always feel like a one-man band. Eventually, I'm just like... - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I always feel like a one-man band. Eventually, I'm just...
[imitates instrument] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
[imitates instrument]
There should be a monkey on my shoulder with a tambourine like collecting coins - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:09
There should be a monkey on my shoulder with a tambourine li...
Ironically enough, Dick Van Dyke - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
Ironically enough, Dick Van Dyke
So, I need all those elements to really get me there. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
So, I need all those elements to really get me there.
I’ll sell it to you, ladies, if you’re not into it, you’re about to be. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I’ll sell it to you, ladies, if you’re not into it, you’re a...
No, I'm just kidding it’s fine, just leave it. What are you doing?” - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
No, I'm just kidding it’s fine, just leave it. What are...
You make it look like a struggle, like, “Oh no! Oh!” - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
You make it look like a struggle, like, “Oh no! Oh!”
And you go, “Oh no! I can’t see you, how am I going to come?” - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
And you go, “Oh no! I can’t see you, how am I going to come?...
[crowd laughs and claps] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
[crowd laughs and claps]
But bondage porn, it's always like in a cellar - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
But bondage porn, it's always like in a cellar
I don't understand why there always has to be a guy with a welder's mask - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
I don't understand why there always has to be a guy wit...
And I'm just like, "Be nice!" Like, she's invited all these dudes over. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
And I'm just like, "Be nice!" Like, she'...