To watch in HD, get ClipCafe PRO
[Nikki and crowd laugh]
Please log in to add to collections.
Nikki Glaser: Bangin'

I didn't masturbate my whole life, almost

[Nikki and crowd laugh] I didn't masturbate my whole life, almost

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.998
[Nikki and crowd laugh]
00:00:05.504 --> 00:00:07.923
I didn't masturbate my whole life, almost.
Duration
8 seconds
Views
39
Timestamp in Movie
00:19:08
Uploaded
Jun 13, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Den of Thieves

Want This Clip in HD?

Upgrade for HD/4K downloads and unlimited access. Upgrade now →

Movie Summary

Nikki Glaser bares all in a blistering stand-up special about sex, sobriety and getting over her own insecurities. And she won't spare you the details.
I didn't start masturbating till I was 28, 'cause I quit Zoloft. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I didn't start masturbating till I was 28, 'cause ...
Yeah, I was on Zoloft for like my whole adult life, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:10
Yeah, I was on Zoloft for like my whole adult life,
Oh my God, I had my first real orgasm off Zoloft and I was like, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:09
Oh my God, I had my first real orgasm off Zoloft and I was l...
Like, a 28-year-old woman behaving like an 11-year-old boy, truly. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
Like, a 28-year-old woman behaving like an 11-year-old boy, ...
You know you hear these stories from guys that are like, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
You know you hear these stories from guys that are like,
It was my period but it counts, and I still count it. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
It was my period but it counts, and I still count it.
I did it on a plane once and got caught, and... - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
I did it on a plane once and got caught, and...
She saw me and I was just like, "I thought you could in first class." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
She saw me and I was just like, "I thought you could in...
[crowd laughs] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:11
[crowd laughs]
Masturbating now, I just am too exhausted by all of it, you know? - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
Masturbating now, I just am too exhausted by all of it, you ...
I've heard about this thing for a while." So, I go to PetSmart and I get that thing, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
I've heard about this thing for a while." So, I go...
I was just like, "This thing bit my clit off!" - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:09
I was just like, "This thing bit my clit off!"
And now, when I go to masturbate, I just look at all my toys - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
And now, when I go to masturbate, I just look at all my toys
I don't want you thinking I'm having a bucket of dildos. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I don't want you thinking I'm having a bucket of d...
It's literally a ripped Victoria's Secret bag, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
It's literally a ripped Victoria's Secret bag,
And every time I go to masturbate I have to like look at all of them, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
And every time I go to masturbate I have to like look at all...
I'm just like, "Oh, Woody, you used to be my favorite. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I'm just like, "Oh, Woody, you used to be my favor...
I'll sit on you." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:11
I'll sit on you."
I always feel like a one-man band. Eventually, I'm just like... - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I always feel like a one-man band. Eventually, I'm just...
[imitates instrument] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
[imitates instrument]