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That's a trick I learned, it's like, if you touch their hard dick
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Nikki Glaser: Bangin'

That's a trick I learned,it's like, if you touch their hard dick, it's like inviting a...

That's a trick I learned,
it's like, if you touch their hard dick, it's like inviting a vampire
in your house, like you're obligated
to then do something about it, or whatever that rule is

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.837
That's a trick I learned, it's like, if you touch their hard dick,
00:00:03.092 --> 00:00:05.713
it's like inviting a vampire in your house,
00:00:05.797 --> 00:00:09.259
like you're obligated to then do something about it,
00:00:09.342 --> 00:00:12.001
or whatever that rule is.
Duration
12 seconds
Views
42
Timestamp in Movie
00:41:15
Uploaded
Jun 13, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Den of Thieves

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Movie Summary

Nikki Glaser bares all in a blistering stand-up special about sex, sobriety and getting over her own insecurities. And she won't spare you the details.
At the end of a date, I always keep my hands up here, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
At the end of a date, I always keep my hands up here,
I probably... It's always between, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:10
I probably... It's always between,
Especially me, like, if I'm nervous about a date, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:10
Especially me, like, if I'm nervous about a date,
So, I'm starving at this point and I'm just like, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:17
So, I'm starving at this point and I'm just like,
That doesn't fit either scenario, but we had fun. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
That doesn't fit either scenario, but we had fun.
But then you touch it, and I do like a hot stove now, I'm like, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:16
But then you touch it, and I do like a hot stove now, I'...
You either have to do something to it, or you have to tell him - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
You either have to do something to it, or you have to tell h...
And you're just like, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
And you're just like,
I'm better at sucking dick than I am at sharing my true feelings. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
I'm better at sucking dick than I am at sharing my true...
And so, I blow a guy to avoid telling him the truth. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
And so, I blow a guy to avoid telling him the truth.
Now, I'm like, "I have to blow you?" - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
Now, I'm like, "I have to blow you?"
I'm trying to get better, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:13
I'm trying to get better,
Kind of took over and and treated my head like a bird house. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
Kind of took over and and treated my head like a bird house.
That's how I got through it, is pretending I'm a birdhouse. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
That's how I got through it, is pretending I'm a b...
I just... I have no rhythm. I have no natural rhythm. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I just... I have no rhythm. I have no natural rhythm.
And so, I actually was like, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:14
And so, I actually was like,
Most girls do not like when you grab their head - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
Most girls do not like when you grab their head
'Cause then I can focus on what I'm actually good at, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:11
'Cause then I can focus on what I'm actually good ...
[crowd laughs] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
[crowd laughs]
So, I hope you let me get a couple gasps in here and there. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
So, I hope you let me get a couple gasps in here and there.