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The whole time, I'm like,
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Nikki Glaser: Bangin'

The whole time, I'm like,"I can't even like this, 'cause I've got to rub this bitch...

The whole time, I'm like,
"I can't even like this, 'cause I've got to rub this bitch next,
like..." That's what it feels like,
hooking up with you

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.918
The whole time, I'm like, "I can't even like this,
00:00:03.998 --> 00:00:05.171
'cause I've got to rub this bitch next, like..."
00:00:05.421 --> 00:00:07.757
That's what it feels like, hooking up with you.
Duration
8 seconds
Views
24
Timestamp in Movie
00:51:16
Uploaded
Jun 13, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Den of Thieves

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Movie Summary

Nikki Glaser bares all in a blistering stand-up special about sex, sobriety and getting over her own insecurities. And she won't spare you the details.
The best hook up scenario I can imagine, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:09
The best hook up scenario I can imagine,
I'll throw a tip on there - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
I'll throw a tip on there
I would love that to be a part of the Uber app, Uber finger. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I would love that to be a part of the Uber app, Uber finger.
It just... It's like you pay more, you pay double, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
It just... It's like you pay more, you pay double,
So, there's a guy in the back seat, it's not even a guy, it's maybe a girl. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
So, there's a guy in the back seat, it's not even ...
It's a tie-in with Sony for a promotional stunt. I don't know.... - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
It's a tie-in with Sony for a promotional stunt. I don&...
It has to be a two-man op, you're going to pay extra - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
It has to be a two-man op, you're going to pay extra
As soon as there are self-fingering cars, I mean, you'll never hear from me again. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
As soon as there are self-fingering cars, I mean, you'l...
[crowd laughing] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:09
[crowd laughing]
And I bristle at even saying this word, but I need more foreplay. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
And I bristle at even saying this word, but I need more fore...
And I hate saying that, I never wanted to be a female comic - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:23
And I hate saying that, I never wanted to be a female comic
And then the girls would be like, "Tee-he, we relate." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:13
And then the girls would be like, "Tee-he, we relate.&q...
I should just be happy this guy wants to stick his dick in my ugly head." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
I should just be happy this guy wants to stick his dick in m...
I was like, "I'm never gonna complain about foreplay." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:15
I was like, "I'm never gonna complain about forepl...
I have been fingered when I'm dry so many times this year, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
I have been fingered when I'm dry so many times this ye...
You should not ever finger a dry vagina. Ever! - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
You should not ever finger a dry vagina. Ever!
When you get fingered, when you're dry, as a woman, it's the same as if we took - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:11
When you get fingered, when you're dry, as a woman, it&...
I don't even look at a limp dick. Like, I wouldn't touch one. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
I don't even look at a limp dick. Like, I wouldn't...
So, I'm like, "I won't look at it until he's ready for me to see it, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
So, I'm like, "I won't look at it until he�...
I treat it like your wedding dress. I'm just like, "I'll let him show it to me - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:13
I treat it like your wedding dress. I'm just like, &quo...