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You know you hear these stories from guys that are like
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Nikki Glaser: Bangin'

You know you hear these storiesfrom guys that are like, "I did it till I bled. I didn't...

You know you hear these stories
from guys that are like, "I did it till I bled. I didn't know." I did that

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.127
You know you hear these stories from guys that are like,
00:00:03.211 --> 00:00:05.546
"I did it till I bled. I didn't know."
00:00:05.671 --> 00:00:06.756
I did that.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
49
Timestamp in Movie
00:19:41
Uploaded
Jun 13, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
Den of Thieves

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Movie Summary

Nikki Glaser bares all in a blistering stand-up special about sex, sobriety and getting over her own insecurities. And she won't spare you the details.
It was my period but it counts, and I still count it. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
It was my period but it counts, and I still count it.
I did it on a plane once and got caught, and... - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
I did it on a plane once and got caught, and...
She saw me and I was just like, "I thought you could in first class." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
She saw me and I was just like, "I thought you could in...
[crowd laughs] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:11
[crowd laughs]
Masturbating now, I just am too exhausted by all of it, you know? - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
Masturbating now, I just am too exhausted by all of it, you ...
I've heard about this thing for a while." So, I go to PetSmart and I get that thing, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
I've heard about this thing for a while." So, I go...
I was just like, "This thing bit my clit off!" - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:09
I was just like, "This thing bit my clit off!"
And now, when I go to masturbate, I just look at all my toys - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
And now, when I go to masturbate, I just look at all my toys
I don't want you thinking I'm having a bucket of dildos. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I don't want you thinking I'm having a bucket of d...
It's literally a ripped Victoria's Secret bag, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
It's literally a ripped Victoria's Secret bag,
And every time I go to masturbate I have to like look at all of them, - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:06
And every time I go to masturbate I have to like look at all...
I'm just like, "Oh, Woody, you used to be my favorite. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I'm just like, "Oh, Woody, you used to be my favor...
I'll sit on you." - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:11
I'll sit on you."
I always feel like a one-man band. Eventually, I'm just like... - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I always feel like a one-man band. Eventually, I'm just...
[imitates instrument] - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:07
[imitates instrument]
There should be a monkey on my shoulder with a tambourine like collecting coins - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:09
There should be a monkey on my shoulder with a tambourine li...
Ironically enough, Dick Van Dyke - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
Ironically enough, Dick Van Dyke
So, I need all those elements to really get me there. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:05
So, I need all those elements to really get me there.
I’ll sell it to you, ladies, if you’re not into it, you’re about to be. - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:04
I’ll sell it to you, ladies, if you’re not into it, you’re a...
No, I'm just kidding it’s fine, just leave it. What are you doing?” - Nikki Glaser: Bangin' 00:08
No, I'm just kidding it’s fine, just leave it. What are...