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Don't call my penis cuteEven if it's dressed up like a Care Bearand it's giving you a Care StareDon't dress up your penis Ever
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No Strings Attached

Don't dress up your penis. Ever!

Adam:
Don't call my penis cute. Even if it's dressed up as a Care Bear and it's giving you a care stare.Emma:Don't dress up your penis. Ever!

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.709
Don't call my penis cute
00:00:02.877 --> 00:00:04.794
Even if it's dressed up like a Care Bear
00:00:04.962 --> 00:00:07.172
and it's giving you a Care Stare
00:00:07.339 --> 00:00:09.716
Don't dress up your penis Ever
Available in 7 languages
Duration
11 seconds
Views
1,029
Timestamp in Movie
00:36:07
Uploaded
Mar 01, 2026
Genres
comedy, romance
Production
Katalyst Films,The Montecito Picture Company,Handsomecharlie Films

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Movie Summary

A guy and girl try to keep their relationship strictly physical, but it's not long before they learn that they want something more.

Actors

Ashton Kutcher
Adam
Ashton Kutcher
Natalie Portman
Emma
Natalie Portman
Does your insurance cover invasive procedures? - No Strings Attached 00:11
Does your insurance cover invasive procedures?
I can't focus on my porn with all this real sex going on around me! - No Strings Attached 00:07
I can't focus on my porn with all this real sex going...
Yes, I'm ready. - No Strings Attached 00:18
Yes, I'm ready.
Anytime. - No Strings Attached 00:07
Anytime.
I'm the guy she marries AdamYou're the guy she fucked a couple of times in the handicapped bathroom - No Strings Attached 00:09
I'm the guy she marries AdamYou're the guy she...
I'm not saying Alvin and I did mushrooms togetherbut I'm not prepared to say that we didn't - No Strings Attached 00:08
I'm not saying Alvin and I did mushrooms togetherbut...
Mom is so excitedShe was like screaming and crying last nightAnd she's gonna fly down with Bones and help me shop for the dressWith who Bones Who's BonesOh crap Katie who's BonesHe's Mom's friendI wasn't supposed to tell you about it CrapShe has a - No Strings Attached 00:42
Mom is so excitedShe was like screaming and crying last...
Tea for your 'gina. - No Strings Attached 00:40
Tea for your 'gina.
I love it when we're all on the same cycleWe all get to be passive aggressive and fightYou are not even a woman - No Strings Attached 00:08
I love it when we're all on the same cycleWe all get to...
HelloHey it's AdamAre you kidding meGo awayI've got cupcakes - No Strings Attached 00:14
HelloHey it's AdamAre you kidding meGo awayI've...
I understand what's going on You're all on the same cycleThis is very excitingYour uterine walls will be shedding for the next three to five daysNice memorization Did you Google thatI may haveBecause you're women And I think that's a beautiful thingIt's - No Strings Attached 00:57
I understand what's going on You're all on the...
It's like a crime scene in my pants - No Strings Attached 00:05
It's like a crime scene in my pants
Keep bleedin', I keep, keep bleedin' love - No Strings Attached 00:07
Keep bleedin', I keep, keep bleedin' love
Oh, shit. - No Strings Attached 00:33
Oh, shit.
AdamWhatWe fell asleep We were spooningWe were YeahAnd we were spooning with our clothes onwhich is like ten times worse - No Strings Attached 00:22
AdamWhatWe fell asleep We were spooningWe were YeahAnd we...
This is my fault. - No Strings Attached 00:36
This is my fault.
- This is crazy. - No Strings Attached 00:06
- This is crazy.
Adam, this is an emergency. - No Strings Attached 00:18
Adam, this is an emergency.
OK. - No, this is gonna be good for us. - Yeah. - No Strings Attached 00:10
OK. - No, this is gonna be good for us. - Yeah.
Yes Look in ten years from nowyou're gonna be having sex with your wifeAnd it's gonna be in the missionary positionAnd one of you is going to be asleep Yep - No Strings Attached 00:11
Yes Look in ten years from nowyou're gonna be having...