To watch in HD, get ClipCafe PRO

Both nice

Orange Is the New Black

Both nice. That's all you've gotta say? I gotta look good.My first dance is gonna go on...

Orange Is the New Black • S01E01 • 2013

Both nice. That's all you've gotta say? I gotta look good.My first dance is gonna go on YouTube. Look! I found a rockthat looks like a penis with one ball. -No.-It's my Lance Armstrong rock. Hold it up. Let me see, let me see. Nice. Okay, now lick it, softly and tenderly, Iike you would'vewhen you thought he was clean. Oh, Jesus! Shut that thing off. You're making a huge mistake.This could go viral. Seriously, shut it off. -What?-I'm so fat from all the stress-eating. I really don't want a record of it. You know, that's one thingI'm gonna do in prison. I'm gonna get ripped. Like Jackie Warner ripped. And I'm gonna read everythingon my Amazon wish list. And maybe even learn a craft, you know?I could be crafty. I'm gonna make it count, Larry. I'm not gonna throw away a year of my life.What the hell are you looking for?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:01.989

Both nice

00:00:03.004 --> 00:00:04.314

That's all you've gotta say

00:00:07.004 --> 00:00:10.237

I gotta look good My first dance is gonna go on YouTube

00:00:10.032 --> 00:00:13.357

Look I found a rock that looks like a penis with one ball

00:00:13.048 --> 00:00:15.675

No It's my Lance Armstrong rock

00:00:16.016 --> 00:00:19.516

Hold it up Let me see let me see Nice

00:00:19.006 --> 00:00:21.352

Okay now lick it softly and tenderly

00:00:21.044 --> 00:00:22.793

Iike you would've when you thought he was clean

00:00:22.088 --> 00:00:24.233

Oh Jesus Shut that thing off

00:00:24.036 --> 00:00:26.396

You're making a huge mistake This could go viral

00:00:26.056 --> 00:00:27.629

Seriously shut it off

00:00:27.076 --> 00:00:29.591

What I'm so fat from all the stress eating

00:00:29.068 --> 00:00:32.024

I really don't want a record of it

00:00:34.012 --> 00:00:36.429

You know that's one thing I'm gonna do in prison

00:00:36.052 --> 00:00:38.067

I'm gonna get ripped

00:00:39.056 --> 00:00:41.391

Like Jackie Warner ripped

00:00:42.998 --> 00:00:45.117

And I'm gonna read everything on my Amazon wish list

00:00:45.002 --> 00:00:49.557

And maybe even learn a craft you know I could be crafty

00:00:49.064 --> 00:00:51.232

I'm gonna make it count Larry

00:00:51.032 --> 00:00:56.189

I'm not gonna throw away a year of my life What the hell are you looking for

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.026

الإتنين جميلتان

00:00:02.095 --> 00:00:04.072

هدا كل ما إستطعتي قوله

00:00:06.095 --> 00:00:08.044

يجب أن أظهر بمظهر جيد

00:00:08.044 --> 00:00:10.044

فرقصتي الأولى ستظهر على اليوتوب

00:00:10.044 --> 00:00:11.025

أنظر

00:00:11.025 --> 00:00:13.006

وجدت حجرا يشبه القضيب بخصية واحدة

00:00:13.006 --> 00:00:14.000

لا

00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:15.006

إنه حجر لانس أمسترونغ

00:00:16.029 --> 00:00:17.095

إنتظري دعيني أرى دعيني أرى

00:00:17.095 --> 00:00:19.032

جميل

00:00:19.032 --> 00:00:22.088

حسنا الآن إلعقيه بلطف وحنان كما تعتقدين أنه نضيف

00:00:22.088 --> 00:00:26.006

يا إلاهي أغلق دلك الشيء أنت تقومين بخطء كبير قد يكون فيروسا

00:00:26.066 --> 00:00:28.032

بجد أغلق دلك ماذا

00:00:28.032 --> 00:00:31.081

أنا جد سمينة بالأكل لا أريد أن يتم تسجيل هدا

00:00:33.099 --> 00:00:36.028

أتعلم الشيء الوحيد الدي سأقوم به في السجن

00:00:36.028 --> 00:00:38.068

سيتم تمزيقي

00:00:39.031 --> 00:00:41.043

كتمزيق جاكي وارنر

00:00:41.095 --> 00:00:45.999

سأقوم بقرائة كل قائمة متمنياتي على موقع آمزون

00:00:45.999 --> 00:00:47.999

و من المحتمل أن أتعلم الصياغة

00:00:47.999 --> 00:00:49.999

أتعلم يمكنني أن أكون صائغة

00:00:49.033 --> 00:00:51.045

سأنجح بالأمر لاري

00:00:51.045 --> 00:00:52.054

أنا لن

00:00:52.071 --> 00:00:54.037

لن أهدر سنة بالكامل

00:00:54.037 --> 00:00:56.037

من حياتي على مادا تبحت لحق الجحيم

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.414

Les deux sont jolies

00:00:02.984 --> 00:00:04.674

C'est tout ce que tu as à dire

00:00:06.958 --> 00:00:09.934

Faut que je sois jolie Ma première danse sera sur YouTube

00:00:10.174 --> 00:00:13.111

J'ai trouvé une roche qui ressemble à un pénis avec une couille

00:00:13.351 --> 00:00:15.313

Non Appelons la Lance Armstrong

00:00:16.999 --> 00:00:19.038

Attends Montre la moi de plus près Magnifique

00:00:19.049 --> 00:00:21.119

Maintenant lèche la tendrement

00:00:21.359 --> 00:00:22.843

comme tu l'aurais fait quand tu le croyais propre

00:00:23.998 --> 00:00:24.021

Seigneur Éteins la caméra

00:00:24.045 --> 00:00:26.224

Grave erreur Cette vidéo pourrait devenir virale

00:00:26.464 --> 00:00:27.458

Je ne veux pas que tu me filmes

00:00:27.698 --> 00:00:29.836

Quoi J'ai grossi je mange mes émotions

00:00:30.001 --> 00:00:32.178

Je préfère ne pas garder de souvenir de ça

00:00:33.986 --> 00:00:36.147

C'est l'une des choses que je ferai en prison

00:00:36.387 --> 00:00:38.745

Je vais m'entraîner et sculpter mon corps

00:00:39.051 --> 00:00:41.055

Je serai musclée comme Jackie Warner

00:00:42.052 --> 00:00:45.011

Et je lirai tout ce qui se trouve sur ma liste de souhaits Amazon

00:00:45.035 --> 00:00:49.314

Et j'aimerais apprendre à bricoler À coudre ou à tricoter

00:00:49.554 --> 00:00:51.177

Je veux sortir de là meilleure Larry

00:00:51.417 --> 00:00:56.032

Je ne veux pas gaspiller un an de ma vie Mais qu'est ce que tu cherches

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.008

Beide sind nett

00:00:02.098 --> 00:00:04.521

Das ist alles was du dazu zu sagen hast

00:00:07.012 --> 00:00:10.269

Ich muss gut aussehen Mein erster Tanz wird auf YouTube zu sehen sein

00:00:10.027 --> 00:00:13.033

Schau Ich habe einen Stein gefunden der wie ein Penis mit einem Ei aussieht

00:00:13.331 --> 00:00:15.503

Nein Das ist mein Lance Armstrong Stein

00:00:16.116 --> 00:00:17.807

Halt ihn hoch Lass mich sehen lass mich sehen

00:00:17.927 --> 00:00:19.186

Schön

00:00:19.487 --> 00:00:22.915

Okay jetzt leck ihn sanft und zärtlich wie du es gemacht hättest als du ihn für clean hieltest

00:00:23.014 --> 00:00:24.371

Jesus schalt das Ding ab

00:00:24.372 --> 00:00:26.272

Du machst einen großen Fehler Das könnte ein Riesenerfolg werden

00:00:26.372 --> 00:00:28.999

Ernsthaft Schalt es ab Was

00:00:28.099 --> 00:00:31.565

Ich bin so fett von all dem Stressessen Ich will davon wirklich keine Aufzeichnungen haben

00:00:34.003 --> 00:00:36.003

Weißt du das ist eines der Dinge die ich im Gefängnis tun werde

00:00:36.379 --> 00:00:37.387

Ich werde

00:00:37.508 --> 00:00:38.511

muskulös

00:00:39.386 --> 00:00:41.999

Muskulös wie Jackie Warner

00:00:42.998 --> 00:00:44.614

Und ich werde alles lesen was auf meiner Amazon Wunschliste steht

00:00:45.999 --> 00:00:48.905

Und vielleicht sogar ein Handwerk lernen Weißt du Ich könnte handwerklich begabt sein

00:00:49.488 --> 00:00:52.029

Ich werde das Beste daraus machen Larry Ich werde nicht

00:00:53.999 --> 00:00:56.371

ein Jahr meines Lebens wegschmeißen Nach was zur Hölle suchst du

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.026

Keduanya bagus

00:00:02.095 --> 00:00:04.072

Cuma itu pendapatmu

00:00:06.095 --> 00:00:08.044

Aku harus terlihat cantik

00:00:08.044 --> 00:00:10.044

Dansa pertamaku akan masuk Youtube

00:00:10.044 --> 00:00:11.025

Lihat

00:00:11.025 --> 00:00:13.006

Aku temukan batu yang mirip penis dengan satu bola

00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:15.006

Ini batu Lance Armstrong

00:00:16.029 --> 00:00:17.095

Acungkan itu Biar kulihat

00:00:17.095 --> 00:00:19.032

Bagus

00:00:19.032 --> 00:00:22.088

Baik sekarang jilatlah dengan lembut seolah kau menganggapnya sudah bersih

00:00:22.088 --> 00:00:26.006

Oh astaga matikan itu Kau salah Ini bisa populer

00:00:26.066 --> 00:00:28.032

Sungguh Matikan itu Apa

00:00:28.032 --> 00:00:31.081

Aku merasa gendut karena banyak makan gara2 stress Aku tak mau itu direkam

00:00:33.099 --> 00:00:36.028

Ada satu hal yang akan kulakukan di penjara

00:00:36.028 --> 00:00:38.068

Aku akan habis2an latihan kebugaran

00:00:39.031 --> 00:00:41.043

Seperti bugarnya Jackie Warner

00:00:41.095 --> 00:00:45.999

Aku akan baca semua buku di Amazon wishlist ku

00:00:45.999 --> 00:00:47.999

Dan mungkin belajar ketrampilan tangan

00:00:47.999 --> 00:00:49.999

Siapa tahu Mungkin aku terampil

00:00:49.033 --> 00:00:51.045

Aku akan buat ini berarti Larry

00:00:51.045 --> 00:00:52.054

Aku tak akan

00:00:52.071 --> 00:00:54.037

membuang satu tahun

00:00:54.037 --> 00:00:56.037

hidupku apa yang kau cari

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.026

両方ともいいわね

00:00:02.095 --> 00:00:04.072

それだけ

00:00:06.095 --> 00:00:08.044

いいわ

00:00:08.044 --> 00:00:10.044

私の最初のダンスはユーチューブに載せるつもり

00:00:10.044 --> 00:00:11.025

見て

00:00:11.025 --> 00:00:13.009

睾丸が一個のペニスみたいな石みつけた

00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:15.008

ランスアームストロング石よ

00:00:16.029 --> 00:00:17.095

そのままみせてみせて

00:00:17.095 --> 00:00:19.032

いいね

00:00:19.032 --> 00:00:22.088

よしきれいになるまでやさしくなめるんだ

00:00:22.088 --> 00:00:26.006

ちょっとそれしまってよそれは大きな間違いだこれは噂になるぜ

00:00:26.066 --> 00:00:28.032

マジでとめてよなに

00:00:28.032 --> 00:00:31.081

ストレスで太っちゃったのよね記録に残したくないの

00:00:33.099 --> 00:00:36.028

刑務所でする事のひとつね

00:00:36.028 --> 00:00:38.068

体を絞るつもりよ

00:00:39.031 --> 00:00:41.043

ジャッキーワーナーみたいに絞り込む

00:00:41.095 --> 00:00:45.999

Amazonウィッシュリストにあるすべての本を読むつもり

00:00:45.999 --> 00:00:47.999

工芸も習うわ

00:00:47.999 --> 00:00:49.999

しってる私って手先器用なのよ

00:00:49.033 --> 00:00:51.045

時間を大事にするつもりよラリー

00:00:51.045 --> 00:00:52.054

わたしはけっして

00:00:52.071 --> 00:00:54.037

投げだしたりしない人生の

00:00:54.037 --> 00:00:56.037

何年かをちょっといったい何を探してんのよ

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.026

Оба хорошие

00:00:02.095 --> 00:00:04.072

Это все что ты скажешь

00:00:06.095 --> 00:00:08.044

Мне ведь надо отлично выглядить

00:00:08.044 --> 00:00:10.044

Мой первый танец зальют на Youtube

00:00:10.044 --> 00:00:11.025

Смотри

00:00:11.025 --> 00:00:13.006

Я нашла камень который выглядит как член с одним яйцом

00:00:13.006 --> 00:00:14.000

Нет

00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:15.006

Это мой камешек Лэнс Армстронг

00:00:16.029 --> 00:00:17.095

Подожди Дай посмотреть дай посмотреть

00:00:17.095 --> 00:00:19.032

Неплохо

00:00:19.032 --> 00:00:22.088

Так а теперь оближи его мягко и нежно как тогда когда ты думала что он чистый

00:00:22.088 --> 00:00:26.006

О боже Выключай эту штуку Ты совершаешь огромную ошибку Видео могло стать вирусным

00:00:26.066 --> 00:00:28.032

Серьезно Выключай Что

00:00:28.032 --> 00:00:31.081

Я стала такой толстой из за стрессовых перекусов Не хочу чтобы меня снимали

00:00:33.099 --> 00:00:36.028

Знаешь будет кое что что я сделаю в тюрьме

00:00:36.028 --> 00:00:38.068

Я накачаюсь

00:00:39.031 --> 00:00:41.043

Как накачалась Джеки Уорнер

00:00:41.095 --> 00:00:45.999

И прочитаю все что добавила в список желаний на Амазоне

00:00:45.999 --> 00:00:47.999

И возможно научусь хитрости

00:00:47.999 --> 00:00:49.999

Знаешь я могу быть хитрой

00:00:49.033 --> 00:00:51.045

Хочу чтобы мне это запомнилось Ларри

00:00:51.045 --> 00:00:52.054

Я

00:00:52.071 --> 00:00:54.037

Я потеряю год

00:00:54.037 --> 00:00:56.037

Своей жизни Что черт подери ты там ищешь

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.026

Ambos bonitos

00:00:02.095 --> 00:00:04.072

Eso es todo lo que vas a decir

00:00:06.095 --> 00:00:08.044

Tengo que estar bien

00:00:08.044 --> 00:00:10.044

Mi primer baile va a estar en YouTube

00:00:10.044 --> 00:00:11.025

Mira

00:00:11.025 --> 00:00:13.006

He encontrado una piedra que parece un pene con un huevo

00:00:13.006 --> 00:00:14.000

No

00:00:14.000 --> 00:00:15.006

Es mi piedra de Lance Armstrong

00:00:15.006 --> 00:00:16.029

00:00:16.029 --> 00:00:17.095

Sostenla Deja que la vea Deja que la vea

00:00:17.095 --> 00:00:19.032

Bonita

00:00:19.032 --> 00:00:22.088

Bien ahora lámela con cuidado como si creyeras que está limpia

00:00:22.088 --> 00:00:26.006

Dios apaga esa cosa Eso es un gran error Esto sería viral

00:00:26.066 --> 00:00:28.032

En serio Apágalo Qué

00:00:28.032 --> 00:00:31.081

Estoy muy gorda por el estrés No quiero que quede grabado

00:00:33.099 --> 00:00:36.028

Eso es algo que voy a hacer en prisión

00:00:36.028 --> 00:00:38.068

Voy a ponerme cuadrada

00:00:39.031 --> 00:00:41.043

Como Jackie Warner

00:00:41.095 --> 00:00:45.999

Y voy a leer todo lo que hay en mi lista de deseos de Amazon

00:00:45.999 --> 00:00:47.999

Y quizás hasta aprenda arte

00:00:47.999 --> 00:00:49.999

Sabes Yo podría ser artista

00:00:49.033 --> 00:00:51.045

Lo aprovecharé Larry

00:00:51.045 --> 00:00:52.054

No voy a

00:00:52.071 --> 00:00:54.037

tirar un año de

00:00:54.037 --> 00:00:56.037

mi vida Qué demonios buscas

00:00:56.037 --> 00:00:57.035

Available in 8 languages

Duration

58 seconds

Views

10

Timestamp in Movie

00:18:37

Uploaded

Mar 15, 2026

Season

1

Episode

1

Genres

comedy, crime, drama

Production

IFC Productions

Want This Clip in HD?

Upgrade for HD/4K downloads and unlimited access. Upgrade now →

Movie Summary

Convicted of a decade old crime of transporting drug money to an ex-girlfriend, normally law-abiding Piper Chapman is sentenced to a year and a half behind bars to face the reality of how life-changing prison can really be.