Hey, this is not a playground, okay? Not now, not now! Knock it off! I can't believe they...

Gil: [Comes home after quitting his job] Hey, this is not a playground, okay? Not now, not now! Knock it off! [Dealing with black straps on a broken videotape] Gil: I can't believe they did this. Karen: Alright, the other kids left, ours is watching a tape, Helen dropped your Grandma off. Let's talk. Gil: I quit my job. Karen: Why? Gil: They gave the partnership to Phil Richards. Phil Richards, this is a guy who leaves his wife and kids, and then puts all his money in his girlfriend's name so they can't touch him for child support. I mean the guy is... . Anyway, I couldn't stand it. I snapped. Karen: Can you change your mind? Gil: What do you mean change my mind? I quit. Karen: I know but, did you say anything that would make it difficult for them to take you back? Gil: Jesus, honey, I was hoping you would be a little more supportive. Karen: I'm pregnant. Gil: [pauses momentarily as he is in shock] Since when? Karen: Since I am. I'm due in February. I didn't want to say anything until I was sure. Gil: How did this happen? Karen: It was an accident. Anyhow, now isn't the best time for you to be out of work or starting a new job. Gil: You know if you told me there's a chance this might happen, I might've not quit in the first place. Karen: Well, you never told me there was a chance you quit! Gil: It was a spur of the moment decision. Karen: Pretty big one. Gil: So what are you saying I should do? Crawl back into work and kiss Dave's feet and get my crappy job back? I quit. If I go back now, I'm a eunuch. Karen: You know, this is a minor crimp in my life, too. I was thinking about starting back to work in the fall. Now I can't. Gil: Well, that's the difference between men and women. Women have choices. Men have responsibilities. Karen: Oh, really? Oh, ok, well, then I choose for you to have the baby. That's my choice. You have the baby! You get fat! You breast feed until your nipples are sore! I'll go back to work! Gil: Alright, let's return from La-La Land because that ain't gonna happen. Whether I crawl back to Dave or get another job, then now I'm gonna have to spend less time at home. [Slams the broken tape into the trash can] Gil: I'll have to do business dinners, I'll have to play racquetball, and I'm gonna have to get guys laid. So I hope you don't mind bringing home some prostitutes honey, because that's what it takes to get anywhere and I'm not getting anywhere. Whatever happens, you have to count on less help from me. Karen: Why don't you just say what you're really thinking? Gil: What am I thinking? Karen: I should have an abortion. Gil: I didn't say that. That's a decision every woman has to make on her own. Karen: Are you running for Congress? [Gil is guilty] Karen: Don't give me that. I want your opinion on what we should do. Let's pretend it's your decision, okay? Pretend you're a caveman or your father. What do you want me to do? Gil: I want whatever you want. Karen: Well, I want to have the baby. Gil: Well, great! Let's have it then! Let's see how I can screw the 4th one up! Hey, let's have 5, let's have 6! Let's have a dozen and pretend they're doughnuts! I'm really happy about things, aren't you? Karen: You know with a frame of your mind, not only am I not sure about having another baby, I'm not sure we can keep the 3 we got. Gil: Well I'm ready to discuss it. However, I can't right now because I gotta go to the goddamn Little League! 10 little boys are waiting for me guiding in the last place. Karen: You really have to go? Gil: My whole life is that I have to.