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Patton Oswalt: We All Scream

Patton Oswalt: We All Scream poster
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
IMDb
5.9
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N/A
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Oswalt discusses what happens to our bodies as we get older, who he could have been had he just followed the list he created during the lockdown, the Baby Boomer's last temper tantrum and much more.
Director
Patton Oswalt
Year
2022
Genre
documentary, comedy
Box Office
N/A
Production
N/A
Awards
N/A
Patton Oswalt
Self
Patton Oswalt
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Could be a maniac, nude, with a bucket of chicken on his dick, holding a sword. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
Could be a maniac, nude, with a bucket of chicken on his dic...
I don't know what's back... I just wanna be ready. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
I don't know what's back... I just wanna be ready.
But the cameras aren't loading, and I'm waiting for it. Goddamn it. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
But the cameras aren't loading, and I'm waiting fo...
And then my wife - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:10
And then my wife
She's got a white summer dress on flowing in the wind, barefoot. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
She's got a white summer dress on flowing in the wind, ...
And she's holding a pink, aluminum baseball bat. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
And she's holding a pink, aluminum baseball bat.
And she has serious Manson girl energy coming off of her, like... - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
And she has serious Manson girl energy coming off of her, li...
"Look at that hot, hippie chick that I wanna fuck and get murdered by." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:09
"Look at that hot, hippie chick that I wanna fuck and g...
It takes me a second to realize what she's doing, then I go clomping after her, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:11
It takes me a second to realize what she's doing, then ...
Before I can turn the corner, I hear her screaming at him, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:09
Before I can turn the corner, I hear her screaming at him,
The guy she's yelling at, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:18
The guy she's yelling at,
There was something wrong with our air conditioner. I... - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
There was something wrong with our air conditioner. I...
I called our contractor - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:14
I called our contractor
My wife is now screaming at him, and she's just fucking... - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
My wife is now screaming at him, and she's just fucking...
Just blazing Valkyrie, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:09
Just blazing Valkyrie,
...when there is a blazing-eyed Valkyrie - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:07
...when there is a blazing-eyed Valkyrie
...threatening to kill you, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:08
...threatening to kill you,
This guy was going, "Who's anybody really, man? Like..." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:10
This guy was going, "Who's anybody really, man? Li...
Now she's got both hands on the bat. She's gonna swing on the guy. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:07
Now she's got both hands on the bat. She's gonna s...
He started saying, "My name is Michael. Your guy Steve sent me here to figure..." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:18
He started saying, "My name is Michael. Your guy Steve ...
I'm sure he was driving home going, "That poor bastard. Oh my God." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:11
I'm sure he was driving home going, "That poor bas...
A lot of you hear the story and go, "That's not very manly of you." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:08
A lot of you hear the story and go, "That's not ve...
I say that our timing and placement - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:07
I say that our timing and placement
'Cause remember he never got scared when she was screaming at him? - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
'Cause remember he never got scared when she was scream...
He just kept going, "I..." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
He just kept going, "I..."
Gorgeous Valkyrie, vagina-colored metal, screaming. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
Gorgeous Valkyrie, vagina-colored metal, screaming.
And also, again, the energy she's giving off is - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
And also, again, the energy she's giving off is
Standing five feet behind her, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:21
Standing five feet behind her,
I'm doing some poses that we can freeze for the Netflix save screen. A little... - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
I'm doing some poses that we can freeze for the Netflix...
That's not a bit in the special, but if you're watching Netflix, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:10
That's not a bit in the special, but if you're wat...
Thank you. It's also sad that gets applause at this point, isn't it? - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
Thank you. It's also sad that gets applause at this poi...
You get applause for taking the most basic care of your health? - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
You get applause for taking the most basic care of your heal...
That's like me going, "Folks, I wipe after I shit. Thank..." No. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
That's like me going, "Folks, I wipe after I shit....
People. No. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
People. No.
I'm no... I'm no hero now. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
I'm no... I'm no hero now.
It's the lumberjacks who cut down the trees - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
It's the lumberjacks who cut down the trees
I didn't jump the line. I didn't use my privilege, but... - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
I didn't jump the line. I didn't use my privilege,...
I acted on some inside information, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
I acted on some inside information,
Right when the vaccine came out, I have a friend, lives out in Riverside. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
Right when the vaccine came out, I have a friend, lives out ...
And he calls me and says, "I don't know if I should tell you this, but, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:23
And he calls me and says, "I don't know if I shoul...
I go, "Hi, excuse me. I'd like to get a vaccine." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:08
I go, "Hi, excuse me. I'd like to get a vaccine.&q...
Like, "Yeah. Let me get you set up." Like, "Go stand over there." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
Like, "Yeah. Let me get you set up." Like, "G...
While I'm waiting, my friend was right, everyone that walked in, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:09
While I'm waiting, my friend was right, everyone that w...
"Yeah, no thanks." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:29
"Yeah, no thanks."
In 1955, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
In 1955,
We were two years away - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
We were two years away
And America could not have been more backward, racist, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:13
And America could not have been more backward, racist,
"Give me that shot. I can't police these water fountains from a wheelchair." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:13
"Give me that shot. I can't police these water fou...
Now - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:09
Now
Like you're watching a cheap science-fiction film, "In the year 2022..." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:13
Like you're watching a cheap science-fiction film, &quo...
Half of the country's like, "That needle's got witch poison in it, I tells ya." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:09
Half of the country's like, "That needle's go...
"Keep your wizard jab away from me." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:10
"Keep your wizard jab away from me."
If that attitude had existed in 1955, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:11
If that attitude had existed in 1955,
"Who do I gotta blow to cure polio?" Like little... - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
"Who do I gotta blow to cure polio?" Like little.....
That's right, jabby. Tell everyone about your benefits. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
That's right, jabby. Tell everyone about your benefits.
"My benefits? Your fucking legs work. How's that for a benefit?" - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:08
"My benefits? Your fucking legs work. How's that f...
Cruise ships? Oh, you'll never see a cruise ship again. Kiss that goodbye. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
Cruise ships? Oh, you'll never see a cruise ship again....
First off, every cruise ship is booked up to the year 2026. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
First off, every cruise ship is booked up to the year 2026.
People cannot wait to get aboard the plague barge - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:07
People cannot wait to get aboard the plague barge
Not only are buffets gonna come back, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
Not only are buffets gonna come back,
"Come on down to Captain Covid's Alpha Males Only buffet!" - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
"Come on down to Captain Covid's Alpha Males Only ...
"You the kind of left-wing soy boy - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:13
"You the kind of left-wing soy boy
"You show us proof you ain't been vaccinated, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:10
"You show us proof you ain't been vaccinated,
I was listening to '70s on 7 on the way here. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
I was listening to '70s on 7 on the way here.
Do you like '90s music? Guess what you hit. Number nine! - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
Do you like '90s music? Guess what you hit. Number nine...
Why did those three channels get moved - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:09
Why did those three channels get moved
'40s, '50s, '60s. Those listeners are dropping like... - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
'40s, '50s, '60s. Those listeners are droppin...
Three World War II veterans and a couple of contrarian hipsters. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
Three World War II veterans and a couple of contrarian hipst...
And we can laugh and enjoy it, but hey, during our lifetimes, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:08
And we can laugh and enjoy it, but hey, during our lifetimes...
That's how you can track how the generations are dying, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
That's how you can track how the generations are dying,
I hope when they do that, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:13
I hope when they do that,
You couldn't do "Patchouli Oil and Love Beads," or whatever? - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
You couldn't do "Patchouli Oil and Love Beads,&quo...
Give the '70s channel a name emblematic of the decade. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
Give the '70s channel a name emblematic of the decade.
You know, "Your Mother and I Are Separating Radio." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:07
You know, "Your Mother and I Are Separating Radio."...
And then the '90s channel could just be... - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
And then the '90s channel could just be...
That was Abra Moore's "Four-Leaf Clover" on... - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
That was Abra Moore's "Four-Leaf Clover" on.....
- I live in Colorado Springs. - You live in Colorado Springs? - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
- I live in Colorado Springs. - You live in Colorado Springs...
Okay, glad I got that straight. It wasn't a problem. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
Okay, glad I got that straight. It wasn't a problem.
Thank God. Okay. Guys, it wasn't a problem. It's cool. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
Thank God. Okay. Guys, it wasn't a problem. It's c...
You are serving your community. You are helping children. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
You are serving your community. You are helping children.
You have a positive job that you have a positive attitude towards. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
You have a positive job that you have a positive attitude to...
This is comedy death. I need to get off of you right now. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
This is comedy death. I need to get off of you right now.
I need to talk to a meth cook or a divorcee. This is... - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
I need to talk to a meth cook or a divorcee. This is...
"I help children live." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
"I help children live."
Is this, uh... Are you with her? You guys together? Is this the hubby? - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
Is this, uh... Are you with her? You guys together? Is this ...
Oh God, if it's some kind of positive community outreach law, I'm gonna fucking... - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
Oh God, if it's some kind of positive community outreac...
I prosecute juvenile sex crimes. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
I prosecute juvenile sex crimes.
When you say juvenile sex offenders, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:11
When you say juvenile sex offenders,
Juveniles who are sex offenders. Gotta be very careful with the phrasing. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
Juveniles who are sex offenders. Gotta be very careful with ...
I'm not gonna do the rest of my show like, "So what do you do?" - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:08
I'm not gonna do the rest of my show like, "So wha...
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Patton Oswalt: We All Scream poster
★ ★ ★ ★ ★
Oswalt discusses what happens to our bodies as we get older, who he could have been had he just followed the list he created during the lockdown, the Baby Boomer's last temper tantrum and much more.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)
Director: Patton Oswalt
Writer: Patton Oswalt
Production: N/A
Genre: documentary, comedy
Year: 2022
MetaScore: N/A/100
ImdbRating: 5.9
BoxOffice: N/A
Released: 20 Sep 2022
Awards: N/A
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