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And then he told his wife
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Patton Oswalt: We All Scream

And then he told his wife, "Duct-tape me to a snowboard and push medown a black diamond...

And then he told his wife, "Duct-tape me to a snowboard and push me
down a black diamond trail, please." "Give me some dignity for God's sake."

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.128
And then he told his wife,
00:00:03.211 --> 00:00:07.132
"Duct-tape me to a snowboard and push me down a black diamond trail, please."
00:00:07.215 --> 00:00:09.217
"Give me some dignity for God's sake."
Duration
9 seconds
Views
54
Timestamp in Movie
00:02:35
Uploaded
Apr 29, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Oswalt discusses what happens to our bodies as we get older, who he could have been had he just followed the list he created during the lockdown, the Baby Boomer's last temper tantrum and much more.
A month after I broke my foot, Tony Hawk - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:08
A month after I broke my foot, Tony Hawk
In his warehouse, doing his verticals, landed it wrong. Broke his femur. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
In his warehouse, doing his verticals, landed it wrong. Brok...
He's like, "Looks like we're in the same boat, buddy." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:07
He's like, "Looks like we're in the same boat...
You just Jackie-Channed yourself into even more coolness. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
You just Jackie-Channed yourself into even more coolness.
I slipped off a curb like someone's aunt that saw a bird. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
I slipped off a curb like someone's aunt that saw a bir...
And the one weird thing that happened, 'cause when I did it - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:18
And the one weird thing that happened, 'cause when I di...
And it's really hurting, and then a car pulls up, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:22
And it's really hurting, and then a car pulls up,
What did I... Did she... "He's gonna kill himself. Pull over. Pull over." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:11
What did I... Did she... "He's gonna kill himself....
Maybe that was just my face left over from the shutdown and the pandemic. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
Maybe that was just my face left over from the shutdown and ...
Because I didn't do the shutdown well at all. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
Because I didn't do the shutdown well at all.
I planned an amazing... Remember when the shutdown happened? - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
I planned an amazing... Remember when the shutdown happened?
Supposed to stay home, and you had that little memory - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:16
Supposed to stay home, and you had that little memory
The list we all made. We all made the same list? Yes, you did. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
The list we all made. We all made the same list? Yes, you di...
All the great books you were gonna read. All the great books. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
All the great books you were gonna read. All the great books...
Oh my God, we couldn't wait to work on ourselves. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
Oh my God, we couldn't wait to work on ourselves.
If I had actually followed the list that I made, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:08
If I had actually followed the list that I made,
When all of you walked in, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:09
When all of you walked in,
When you're done eating, you throw the plate down, it pops up into a frog. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
When you're done eating, you throw the plate down, it p...
Oh my God! Oh, the plans I had! - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
Oh my God! Oh, the plans I had!
I ate Doritos for breakfast, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:07
I ate Doritos for breakfast,