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Five in the morning
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Patton Oswalt: We All Scream

Five in the morning, "The fucking Polaroid doesn't even work!" Goddamn it!

Five in the morning, "The fucking Polaroid doesn't even work!" Goddamn it!

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.543
Five in the morning,
00:00:02.627 --> 00:00:05.588
"The fucking Polaroid doesn't even work!"
00:00:06.464 --> 00:00:07.465
Goddamn it!
Duration
7 seconds
Views
47
Timestamp in Movie
00:12:22
Uploaded
Apr 28, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Oswalt discusses what happens to our bodies as we get older, who he could have been had he just followed the list he created during the lockdown, the Baby Boomer's last temper tantrum and much more.
Not a giant backyard... One of those little workout ones. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
Not a giant backyard... One of those little workout ones.
You get up on it. You hop up and down, get the lymphatic system going, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:11
You get up on it. You hop up and down, get the lymphatic sys...
"I'm gonna stay fit during this thing, man. I got my new rebounder." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:07
"I'm gonna stay fit during this thing, man. I got ...
You could feel it. He was like, "I'm gonna make a difference in this house." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:14
You could feel it. He was like, "I'm gonna make a ...
I put him down. "I'll see you tomorrow, little rebounder." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:09
I put him down. "I'll see you tomorrow, little reb...
And I could feel the rebounder's heart break. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
And I could feel the rebounder's heart break.
He's like, "Give me the worst precinct in town. I'll turn it around!" - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:15
He's like, "Give me the worst precinct in town. I&...
Looks over in the corner, "Who's at his desk?" - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
Looks over in the corner, "Who's at his desk?"...
Looks at the little rookie rebounder, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:36
Looks at the little rookie rebounder,
"He gets up on me, stretch those little fat thighs, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:15
"He gets up on me, stretch those little fat thighs,
"Hopped off of me." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:11
"Hopped off of me."
"Oh, he'll be here tomorrow." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:27
"Oh, he'll be here tomorrow."
"What'll be the first song he listens to? I can call it right now." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:12
"What'll be the first song he listens to? I can ca...
"He won't make it past the bridge." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:19
"He won't make it past the bridge."
I just pitched the saddest Pixar movie in the... - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
I just pitched the saddest Pixar movie in the...
If they do a movie with the Safdie brothers, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
If they do a movie with the Safdie brothers,
And Frances McDormand is the half-inflated exercise ball. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
And Frances McDormand is the half-inflated exercise ball.
My rock-bottom, psychologically, during the shutdown - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:07
My rock-bottom, psychologically, during the shutdown
We all hit crazy rock-bottom at the same time. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
We all hit crazy rock-bottom at the same time.
My daughter's in the kitchen, and out of nowhere, she says, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:25
My daughter's in the kitchen, and out of nowhere, she s...