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Hair turned gray, dick didn't work anymore
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Patton Oswalt: We All Scream

Hair turned gray,dick didn't work anymore, hemorrhoids and hysterectomies

Hair turned gray,
dick didn't work anymore, hemorrhoids and hysterectomies

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.092
Hair turned gray, dick didn't work anymore,
00:00:04.712 --> 00:00:06.798
hemorrhoids and hysterectomies.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
25
Timestamp in Movie
00:46:22
Uploaded
Apr 29, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Oswalt discusses what happens to our bodies as we get older, who he could have been had he just followed the list he created during the lockdown, the Baby Boomer's last temper tantrum and much more.
Punk music, they don't know what's going on. "Fuck this." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:09
Punk music, they don't know what's going on. "...
They were on the cutting edge of sex, rock and roll, rebellion... - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
They were on the cutting edge of sex, rock and roll, rebelli...
They owned youth, and then they got fucking old. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
They owned youth, and then they got fucking old.
Now they're, "Oh my God, I'm about to die. What the fuck is going on?" - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:10
Now they're, "Oh my God, I'm about to die. Wh...
Well, our temper tantrum is going to be beyond ugly. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
Well, our temper tantrum is going to be beyond ugly.
When we start getting old, our dicks stop working, our hair goes gray, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:07
When we start getting old, our dicks stop working, our hair ...
It's gonna be either Eddie Vedder or Janeane Garofalo. One of those two. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
It's gonna be either Eddie Vedder or Janeane Garofalo. ...
Janeane would be a horrible president. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
Janeane would be a horrible president.
I've known her since the '90s. I love her. She would tell you that herself. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
I've known her since the '90s. I love her. She wou...
Janeane, you should be president. "I'm not doing that shit." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
Janeane, you should be president. "I'm not doing t...
Think of how Gen X thinks. Like, "That's exactly the attitude we need." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:07
Think of how Gen X thinks. Like, "That's exactly t...
We'll love her even more. CNN will have a ticker on the bottom of the screen, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:14
We'll love her even more. CNN will have a ticker on the...
And then we'll die, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:07
And then we'll die,
That would drive anybody... He's actually handling it better than I would. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
That would drive anybody... He's actually handling it b...
If I had a fucking podcast about knitting - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:09
If I had a fucking podcast about knitting
And Joe would be like, "Patton went fucking nuts. Oh my God." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
And Joe would be like, "Patton went fucking nuts. Oh my...
Pretend you're Jeff Goldblum in The Fly, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:11
Pretend you're Jeff Goldblum in The Fly,
"Oh. My farts smell like old books." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:11
"Oh. My farts smell like old books."
"Day 17. Takes longer to stop peeing than it does to pee." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
"Day 17. Takes longer to stop peeing than it does to pe...
Foot, all of it, it's all coming apart. But you know what? - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
Foot, all of it, it's all coming apart. But you know wh...