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We were two years away
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Patton Oswalt: We All Scream

We were two years away from satellites

We were two years away from satellites

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.918
We were two years away
00:00:03.998 --> 00:00:05.296
from satellites.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
26
Timestamp in Movie
00:26:31
Uploaded
Apr 29, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Oswalt discusses what happens to our bodies as we get older, who he could have been had he just followed the list he created during the lockdown, the Baby Boomer's last temper tantrum and much more.
And America could not have been more backward, racist, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:13
And America could not have been more backward, racist,
"Give me that shot. I can't police these water fountains from a wheelchair." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:13
"Give me that shot. I can't police these water fou...
Now - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:09
Now
Like you're watching a cheap science-fiction film, "In the year 2022..." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:13
Like you're watching a cheap science-fiction film, &quo...
Half of the country's like, "That needle's got witch poison in it, I tells ya." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:09
Half of the country's like, "That needle's go...
"Keep your wizard jab away from me." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:10
"Keep your wizard jab away from me."
If that attitude had existed in 1955, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:11
If that attitude had existed in 1955,
"Who do I gotta blow to cure polio?" Like little... - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
"Who do I gotta blow to cure polio?" Like little.....
That's right, jabby. Tell everyone about your benefits. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
That's right, jabby. Tell everyone about your benefits.
"My benefits? Your fucking legs work. How's that for a benefit?" - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:08
"My benefits? Your fucking legs work. How's that f...
Cruise ships? Oh, you'll never see a cruise ship again. Kiss that goodbye. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
Cruise ships? Oh, you'll never see a cruise ship again....
First off, every cruise ship is booked up to the year 2026. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
First off, every cruise ship is booked up to the year 2026.
People cannot wait to get aboard the plague barge - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:07
People cannot wait to get aboard the plague barge
Not only are buffets gonna come back, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
Not only are buffets gonna come back,
"Come on down to Captain Covid's Alpha Males Only buffet!" - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
"Come on down to Captain Covid's Alpha Males Only ...
"You the kind of left-wing soy boy - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:13
"You the kind of left-wing soy boy
"You show us proof you ain't been vaccinated, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:10
"You show us proof you ain't been vaccinated,
I was listening to '70s on 7 on the way here. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
I was listening to '70s on 7 on the way here.
Do you like '90s music? Guess what you hit. Number nine! - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
Do you like '90s music? Guess what you hit. Number nine...
Why did those three channels get moved - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:09
Why did those three channels get moved