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When all of you walked in
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Patton Oswalt: We All Scream

When all of you walked in, there would have beena handmade raspberry almond crumble tart...

When all of you walked in, there would have been
a handmade raspberry almond crumble tart on everyone's chair, on each chair

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.168
When all of you walked in,
00:00:02.251 --> 00:00:06.013
there would have been a handmade raspberry almond crumble tart
00:00:06.214 --> 00:00:09.342
on everyone's chair, on each chair.
Duration
9 seconds
Views
37
Timestamp in Movie
00:05:39
Uploaded
Apr 30, 2025
Genres
documentary, comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

Oswalt discusses what happens to our bodies as we get older, who he could have been had he just followed the list he created during the lockdown, the Baby Boomer's last temper tantrum and much more.
When you're done eating, you throw the plate down, it pops up into a frog. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
When you're done eating, you throw the plate down, it p...
Oh my God! Oh, the plans I had! - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:04
Oh my God! Oh, the plans I had!
I ate Doritos for breakfast, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:07
I ate Doritos for breakfast,
And then I went crazier than a barn full of clown pubes. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
And then I went crazier than a barn full of clown pubes.
That is what I did - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
That is what I did
When I say, "Crazier than a barn full of clown pubes..." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:09
When I say, "Crazier than a barn full of clown pubes......
Clowns have as much right to have a varied and experimental, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:08
Clowns have as much right to have a varied and experimental,
I'm saying the source of the crazy isn't the clown pubes. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
I'm saying the source of the crazy isn't the clown...
It's the having the thought and then the follow-through - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:12
It's the having the thought and then the follow-through
If you just filled a barn with pubes, you've checked off the crazy box. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
If you just filled a barn with pubes, you've checked of...
But this person went, "I'm putting obstructions in my way." - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:11
But this person went, "I'm putting obstructions in...
Like, they're not bright orange. They're not rainbow-colored. Look. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
Like, they're not bright orange. They're not rainb...
There's a lot of non-clown pubes that are bright orange - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
There's a lot of non-clown pubes that are bright orange
That's not what I'm saying here. What I'm saying is there's no way - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:09
That's not what I'm saying here. What I'm say...
...and there's a barn, and you open those two big doors, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:16
...and there's a barn, and you open those two big doors...
Like, if Cracker Barrel opened a BDSM store, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:10
Like, if Cracker Barrel opened a BDSM store,
It'd probably be connected to the Cracker Barrel. You'd go in, - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:15
It'd probably be connected to the Cracker Barrel. You&#...
♪ Thatch of Pubes ♪ - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:06
♪ Thatch of Pubes ♪
♪ We've got nipple clamps And scented lubes ♪ - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:11
♪ We've got nipple clamps And scented lubes ♪
And a tower of butt plugs that kisses the sky. - Patton Oswalt: We All Scream 00:05
And a tower of butt plugs that kisses the sky.