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Be reasonable. There's no fucking hell
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Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean

Be reasonable.There's no fucking hell

Be reasonable.
There's no fucking hell

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.378
Be reasonable. There's no fucking hell.
Duration
4 seconds
Views
21
Timestamp in Movie
00:38:29
Uploaded
Jun 24, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
HBO

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Movie Summary

[HBO] HD. Pete Holmes stars in his second special for HBO, taped in front of a sold-out live audience at the Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon.
Don't wanna be wrong about that one. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
Don't wanna be wrong about that one.
If there is a hell, I don't think the worst part will be the torture. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
If there is a hell, I don't think the worst part will b...
The worst part would be that we don't get breaks to talk about the torture. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
The worst part would be that we don't get breaks to tal...
And we all just gather in a common area, drink boiling water. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
And we all just gather in a common area, drink boiling water...
Just like, "What are they doing to you?" - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
Just like, "What are they doing to you?"
It's like tiny little crabs and they're eating me real slow." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:21
It's like tiny little crabs and they're eating me ...
I think... I think that might be my heaven. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
I think... I think that might be my heaven.
Like suffering then talking about it, suffering then talking about it. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
Like suffering then talking about it, suffering then talking...
Like what we're doing here. You know what I'm saying? - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
Like what we're doing here. You know what I'm sayi...
What if the last words of the Bible where you had to be there? What if. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
What if the last words of the Bible where you had to be ther...
Yeah, to the end, it really would've made more sense if you saw this. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
Yeah, to the end, it really would've made more sense if...
One of my career goals is to open a Christian buffet called, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
One of my career goals is to open a Christian buffet called,
On the count of three, don't say anything. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
On the count of three, don't say anything.
At the same time, we're all gonna check. Don't say anything. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
At the same time, we're all gonna check. Don't say...
I'm serious. What did you just do? - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
I'm serious. What did you just do?
Three, two, one. Check if you have to pee. What. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
Three, two, one. Check if you have to pee. What.
What action did you just command? You're like, "Okay, go down." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:13
What action did you just command? You're like, "Ok...
Who you are is behind your eyes and you just sort of puppeteer your body. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
Who you are is behind your eyes and you just sort of puppete...
You just kind of dangling down there like a marionette. You're like, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:13
You just kind of dangling down there like a marionette. You&...
But every time you check if you have to pee, you send a little piece of you - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:13
But every time you check if you have to pee, you send a litt...