To watch in HD, get ClipCafe PRO
Just like,
Please log in to add to collections.
Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean

Just like,"What are they doing to you?" I'll say, "Oh, yeah. I'm in a roomwith millions of...

Just like,
"What are they doing to you?" I'll say, "Oh, yeah. I'm in a room
with millions of little crabs

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:02.071
Just like, "What are they doing to you?"
00:00:02.794 --> 00:00:06.547
I'll say, "Oh, yeah. I'm in a room with millions of little crabs.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
21
Timestamp in Movie
00:39:06
Uploaded
Jun 24, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
HBO

Want This Clip in HD?

Upgrade for HD/4K downloads and unlimited access. Upgrade now →

Movie Summary

[HBO] HD. Pete Holmes stars in his second special for HBO, taped in front of a sold-out live audience at the Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon.
It's like tiny little crabs and they're eating me real slow." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:21
It's like tiny little crabs and they're eating me ...
I think... I think that might be my heaven. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
I think... I think that might be my heaven.
Like suffering then talking about it, suffering then talking about it. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
Like suffering then talking about it, suffering then talking...
Like what we're doing here. You know what I'm saying? - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
Like what we're doing here. You know what I'm sayi...
What if the last words of the Bible where you had to be there? What if. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
What if the last words of the Bible where you had to be ther...
Yeah, to the end, it really would've made more sense if you saw this. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
Yeah, to the end, it really would've made more sense if...
One of my career goals is to open a Christian buffet called, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
One of my career goals is to open a Christian buffet called,
On the count of three, don't say anything. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
On the count of three, don't say anything.
At the same time, we're all gonna check. Don't say anything. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
At the same time, we're all gonna check. Don't say...
I'm serious. What did you just do? - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
I'm serious. What did you just do?
Three, two, one. Check if you have to pee. What. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
Three, two, one. Check if you have to pee. What.
What action did you just command? You're like, "Okay, go down." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:13
What action did you just command? You're like, "Ok...
Who you are is behind your eyes and you just sort of puppeteer your body. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
Who you are is behind your eyes and you just sort of puppete...
You just kind of dangling down there like a marionette. You're like, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:13
You just kind of dangling down there like a marionette. You&...
But every time you check if you have to pee, you send a little piece of you - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:13
But every time you check if you have to pee, you send a litt...
I'm so tired of not talking about this. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
I'm so tired of not talking about this.
Your brain has eyes like you have eyes. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
Your brain has eyes like you have eyes.
But your brain also has eyes that see things that only you can see. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
But your brain also has eyes that see things that only you c...
Like picture an orange, keep your eyes open but picture an orange, the fuck. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
Like picture an orange, keep your eyes open but picture an o...
Like really do it. Keep 'em open but think really hard about an orange. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
Like really do it. Keep 'em open but think really hard ...