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Long, slow, straight, good
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Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean

Long, slow, straight, good

Long, slow, straight, good

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.379
Long, slow, straight, good.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
16
Timestamp in Movie
00:32:37
Uploaded
Jun 24, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
HBO

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Movie Summary

[HBO] HD. Pete Holmes stars in his second special for HBO, taped in front of a sold-out live audience at the Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon.
Tune out, listen to music. Why are you so afraid of being alone? - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
Tune out, listen to music. Why are you so afraid of being al...
Just be with yourself. Call an old friend, keep a friendship alive, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
Just be with yourself. Call an old friend, keep a friendship...
My friends all get there, I feel you pulling away... - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
My friends all get there, I feel you pulling away...
My friends all use Waze. They get to the office five minutes before me. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
My friends all use Waze. They get to the office five minutes...
You can tell they use Waze because they're white as a sheet. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
You can tell they use Waze because they're white as a s...
Their eyes are bugging out of their head for making those suicide lefts - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:09
Their eyes are bugging out of their head for making those su...
You can be five minutes early, I'll be ten minutes late and tell everyone - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:09
You can be five minutes early, I'll be ten minutes late...
What I'm saying is enjoy everything, this is all we have, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
What I'm saying is enjoy everything, this is all we hav...
You don't think there's evidence, but you're open to it. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
You don't think there's evidence, but you're ...
And who thinks it's just dead over, you just unplug the TV, boom? - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
And who thinks it's just dead over, you just unplug the...
I think you're all right. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
I think you're all right.
They all say the same thing to me, they're like, "Pete, think about it." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:09
They all say the same thing to me, they're like, "...
Makes no sense, an afterlife." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
Makes no sense, an afterlife."
You got to think about that again because an afterlife..." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:14
You got to think about that again because an afterlife...&qu...
You know what else makes no sense? Fucking this." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:18
You know what else makes no sense? Fucking this."
But my friends... Why not? - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
But my friends... Why not?
But my friends are all, like, "No, man, there's this bullshit - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:22
But my friends are all, like, "No, man, there's th...
You're on a planet right now. You think you're in America? Zoom out. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
You're on a planet right now. You think you're in ...
You're on a space rock floating in nothingness, infinite nothingness. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
You're on a space rock floating in nothingness, infinit...
We all just act like it's normal, like, "Everything's made of molecules." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:16
We all just act like it's normal, like, "Everythin...