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Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean

"That ain't me. I'm me.That looks like me

"That ain't me. I'm me.
That looks like me

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.045
"That ain't me. I'm me. That looks like me.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
36
Timestamp in Movie
00:18:44
Uploaded
Jun 24, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
HBO

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Movie Summary

[HBO] HD. Pete Holmes stars in his second special for HBO, taped in front of a sold-out live audience at the Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon.
I know what I look like, but that's a trick of the eye. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
I know what I look like, but that's a trick of the eye.
Life, it's a mystery." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
Life, it's a mystery."
It's both. Some of the particles go through the glass, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:08
It's both. Some of the particles go through the glass,
But then a rather arbitrary amount bounce back and frame me in light. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
But then a rather arbitrary amount bounce back and frame me ...
I love science." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
I love science."
I love it. I love science and licking my own asshole." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
I love it. I love science and licking my own asshole."
I got married this year, big year, baby and marry. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
I got married this year, big year, baby and marry.
Sweet Lady Val. I'm glad you guys are pro-baby. I'm glad you're pro-marriage. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
Sweet Lady Val. I'm glad you guys are pro-baby. I'...
A lot of my friends in LA, anti-marriage, showbiz town, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:11
A lot of my friends in LA, anti-marriage, showbiz town,
It's the same group. They'd come up to me and they're just like, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:10
It's the same group. They'd come up to me and they...
I'm like, "You have the word 'sublime' on your neck." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:17
I'm like, "You have the word 'sublime' o...
My wife is amazing. She's smart. She's funny. She's my best friend. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
My wife is amazing. She's smart. She's funny. She&...
She's got big old titties. So, yeah. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
She's got big old titties. So, yeah.
She loves this joke. Don't worry. She loves this joke. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
She loves this joke. Don't worry. She loves this joke.
You got big old titties and I wanna talk about it. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
You got big old titties and I wanna talk about it.
I'm tired of not talking about it. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
I'm tired of not talking about it.
My wife has big boobs. You know why? - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
My wife has big boobs. You know why?
Because I don't give up on my goddamn childhood dreams. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
Because I don't give up on my goddamn childhood dreams.
Eight-year-old me fucking loves me. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
Eight-year-old me fucking loves me.
When I was 8, I wanted a girlfriend with big boobs and a racecar bed - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
When I was 8, I wanted a girlfriend with big boobs and a rac...