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That doesn't make any fucking sense
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Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean

That doesn't make any fucking sense

That doesn't make any fucking sense

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.254
That doesn't make any fucking sense.
Duration
5 seconds
Views
39
Timestamp in Movie
00:36:39
Uploaded
Jun 24, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
HBO

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Movie Summary

[HBO] HD. Pete Holmes stars in his second special for HBO, taped in front of a sold-out live audience at the Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon.
I'm open to anything. If I died... Listen to me, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:18
I'm open to anything. If I died... Listen to me,
It makes me wonder like, I wonder as a thought experiment - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:11
It makes me wonder like, I wonder as a thought experiment
If we were all just hanging out in some sort of primordial area, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
If we were all just hanging out in some sort of primordial a...
He's like, "You believe in life?" - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:23
He's like, "You believe in life?"
I see that for sure. And I'm not afraid of nothing. I'm not afraid of nothing. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
I see that for sure. And I'm not afraid of nothing. I&#...
Who fucking cares? It's nothing. If you're nothing, but you're like, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
Who fucking cares? It's nothing. If you're nothing...
Just jump off the high dive into soft, dark soil and you're like, "Bye, Pete." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:12
Just jump off the high dive into soft, dark soil and you...
Be reasonable. There's no fucking hell. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
Be reasonable. There's no fucking hell.
Don't wanna be wrong about that one. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
Don't wanna be wrong about that one.
If there is a hell, I don't think the worst part will be the torture. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
If there is a hell, I don't think the worst part will b...
The worst part would be that we don't get breaks to talk about the torture. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
The worst part would be that we don't get breaks to tal...
And we all just gather in a common area, drink boiling water. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
And we all just gather in a common area, drink boiling water...
Just like, "What are they doing to you?" - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
Just like, "What are they doing to you?"
It's like tiny little crabs and they're eating me real slow." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:21
It's like tiny little crabs and they're eating me ...
I think... I think that might be my heaven. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
I think... I think that might be my heaven.
Like suffering then talking about it, suffering then talking about it. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
Like suffering then talking about it, suffering then talking...
Like what we're doing here. You know what I'm saying? - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
Like what we're doing here. You know what I'm sayi...
What if the last words of the Bible where you had to be there? What if. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
What if the last words of the Bible where you had to be ther...
Yeah, to the end, it really would've made more sense if you saw this. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
Yeah, to the end, it really would've made more sense if...
One of my career goals is to open a Christian buffet called, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
One of my career goals is to open a Christian buffet called,