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Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean

They all told us, they go,"Hey, never shake a baby." Over and over. Another nurse,...

They all told us, they go,
"Hey, never shake a baby." Over and over. Another nurse, really.
Really

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.171
They all told us, they go, "Hey, never shake a baby."
00:00:07.298 --> 00:00:11.026
Over and over. Another nurse, really. Really.
Duration
11 seconds
Views
28
Timestamp in Movie
00:10:45
Uploaded
Jun 24, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
HBO

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Movie Summary

[HBO] HD. Pete Holmes stars in his second special for HBO, taped in front of a sold-out live audience at the Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon.
"Hey, listen up. Don't shake a baby." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:21
"Hey, listen up. Don't shake a baby."
Oh, you're gonna wanna shake the shit out of that baby. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
Oh, you're gonna wanna shake the shit out of that baby.
You are gonna be tempted as fuck to shake like a goddamn Etch A Sketch, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:14
You are gonna be tempted as fuck to shake like a goddamn Etc...
It's not like you're having a quiet night at home, the baby's in the crib - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
It's not like you're having a quiet night at home,...
It's not that. They tell you when the baby cries, rock the baby. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
It's not that. They tell you when the baby cries, rock ...
They tell you, swing the baby. This is code - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:09
They tell you, swing the baby. This is code
The baby starts crying a little bit, you shake it a bit, and it works. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
The baby starts crying a little bit, you shake it a bit, and...
And it starts crying a lot, turned bright red, screaming in your face, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:09
And it starts crying a lot, turned bright red, screaming in ...
The logic tracks but you can't, because you know... Sure some of you know. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
The logic tracks but you can't, because you know... Sur...
You know what happens, what the disease is called if you shake a baby? - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
You know what happens, what the disease is called if you sha...
Shaken... Yes. Shaken baby syndrome. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
Shaken... Yes. Shaken baby syndrome.
It's the name of the disease. It might as well be called Dad Lost It. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
It's the name of the disease. It might as well be calle...
The disease includes what happened. It's like a shame disease. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
The disease includes what happened. It's like a shame d...
It's made to dissuade you from doing it because you can't be casual. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
It's made to dissuade you from doing it because you can...
"Yeah, I got to go home. My baby's got a little bit of jaundice. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
"Yeah, I got to go home. My baby's got a little bi...
It's not a big deal. She's just working through some jaundice." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:08
It's not a big deal. She's just working through so...
"My baby has got - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:18
"My baby has got
It's in the air." Everyone knows some shit went down. There's no excuse. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
It's in the air." Everyone knows some shit went do...
You can't be like, "Yeah, we went off-roading, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:14
You can't be like, "Yeah, we went off-roading,
I put her on my cell phone, it was on vibrate, got a few calls. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
I put her on my cell phone, it was on vibrate, got a few cal...