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When he thinks he's done, he gets paper, that's the best we have
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Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean

When he thinks he's done, he getspaper, that's the best we have, paper from Ancient Egypt

When he thinks he's done, he gets
paper, that's the best we have, paper from Ancient Egypt

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:05.996
When he thinks he's done, he gets paper, that's the best we have,
00:00:05.088 --> 00:00:08.299
paper from Ancient Egypt.
Duration
8 seconds
Views
25
Timestamp in Movie
00:50:37
Uploaded
Jun 24, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
HBO

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Movie Summary

[HBO] HD. Pete Holmes stars in his second special for HBO, taped in front of a sold-out live audience at the Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon.
And he wipes his shitty ass and then he looks at it. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
And he wipes his shitty ass and then he looks at it.
Everyone here knows there's no better method than the wipe and the look. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
Everyone here knows there's no better method than the w...
The old wipe and look. He goes wipe, wipe, wipe, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:13
The old wipe and look. He goes wipe, wipe, wipe,
Wipe, wipe, wipe, clean but I don't trust it. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
Wipe, wipe, wipe, clean but I don't trust it.
Wipe, wipe, wipe, "Whoa, good thing I didn't stop while I was ahead." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:11
Wipe, wipe, wipe, "Whoa, good thing I didn't stop ...
He washes his hands, gets in his car and goes, po-poop! "Home." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
He washes his hands, gets in his car and goes, po-poop! &quo...
Like, I know there's cams and stuff but for the most part it was earlier. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
Like, I know there's cams and stuff but for the most pa...
We know shit they don't know. They're back then, like... - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
We know shit they don't know. They're back then, l...
"Oh, what if Hillary is gonna win?" Like, they don't know. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
"Oh, what if Hillary is gonna win?" Like, they don...
"When's the McRib coming back?" They're in the dark. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
"When's the McRib coming back?" They're ...
We're the dumdums that are home, just going, it's now in my mind. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
We're the dumdums that are home, just going, it's ...
But I'm off porn. I go off and on, it's hard, it's addictive - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:11
But I'm off porn. I go off and on, it's hard, it&#...
Was watching it, I was mastur... I was masturbating, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
Was watching it, I was mastur... I was masturbating,
I was masturbating and went... I'm sorry. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
I was masturbating and went... I'm sorry.
And when I was finishing... I didn't give the order to say anything - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:09
And when I was finishing... I didn't give the order to ...
Because it wasn't. It wasn't worth it. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
Because it wasn't. It wasn't worth it.
That dirty feeling I had to carry around with me the rest of the day? - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
That dirty feeling I had to carry around with me the rest of...
I had to go to the post office. There's kids and old women there, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:08
I had to go to the post office. There's kids and old wo...
I don't even mean the acting before the sex, where they're, like, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:07
I don't even mean the acting before the sex, where they...
I'm talking about the acting during the sex. For the most part it's normal - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:09
I'm talking about the acting during the sex. For the mo...