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Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean

You're like, "It's probably hungry.It's hot, it's cold, has gas." These are the problems...

You're like, "It's probably hungry.
It's hot, it's cold, has gas." These are the problems that I have

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.796
You're like, "It's probably hungry. It's hot, it's cold, has gas."
00:00:04.879 --> 00:00:07.173
These are the problems that I have.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
22
Timestamp in Movie
00:14:51
Uploaded
Jun 24, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
HBO

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Movie Summary

[HBO] HD. Pete Holmes stars in his second special for HBO, taped in front of a sold-out live audience at the Aladdin Theater in Portland, Oregon.
So you're like, "I got it." I have no idea what my dog wants. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
So you're like, "I got it." I have no idea wh...
My best guess, never-ending eye contact. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
My best guess, never-ending eye contact.
I'm trying to watch Great British Bake Off, he's down there like, "Hey, dad." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
I'm trying to watch Great British Bake Off, he's d...
I was raised with cats and you can kind of tell. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
I was raised with cats and you can kind of tell.
You can kind of tell I was raised with cats. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
You can kind of tell I was raised with cats.
It's the worst hackle you could give me is laughing at that. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
It's the worst hackle you could give me is laughing at ...
You can tell I was raised with cats. The command I most often give my dog - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:10
You can tell I was raised with cats. The command I most ofte...
I've been out of the house for two days. If my dog had a cell phone, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:13
I've been out of the house for two days. If my dog had ...
He'd be FaceTiming me right now just like, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:14
He'd be FaceTiming me right now just like,
You don't know what your cat is. Like, people say cats are evil and they are. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:06
You don't know what your cat is. Like, people say cats ...
They're rolling their own cigarettes. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
They're rolling their own cigarettes.
When I left the house with my dog, I toss a tuna steak and do a barrel roll - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:10
When I left the house with my dog, I toss a tuna steak and d...
But if you have a cat and you see your cat, you're excited. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
But if you have a cat and you see your cat, you're exci...
It's like a B-list celebrity sighting. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
It's like a B-list celebrity sighting.
It's like seeing John Stamos napping in a sunbeam in your kitchen. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:05
It's like seeing John Stamos napping in a sunbeam in yo...
Like, "Oh, my God. We have a cat?" Scoop it up. "I knew I wasn't crazy." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:13
Like, "Oh, my God. We have a cat?" Scoop it up. &q...
Put the cat down, he's like, "Don't tag me. Don't tag me." - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:09
Put the cat down, he's like, "Don't tag me. D...
When he goes out of town, he has to tape newspaper - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:20
When he goes out of town, he has to tape newspaper
Hey, hey, hey. - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:04
Hey, hey, hey.
But when my neighbor told me his little dog doesn't understand reflections, - Pete Holmes: Dirty Clean 00:10
But when my neighbor told me his little dog doesn't und...