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Why don't you get a real job, you fucking cocksucker?
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Pineapple Express

Why don't you get a real job,you fucking cocksucker?

Why don't you get a real job,you fucking cocksucker?

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:04.044
Why don't you get a real job you fucking cocksucker
Available in 5 languages
Duration
5 seconds
Views
19
Timestamp in Movie
00:06:03
Uploaded
Mar 11, 2026
Genres
action, comedy, crime
Production
Columbia Pictures,Relativity Media,Apatow Productions

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Movie Summary

A process server and his marijuana dealer wind up on the run from hitmen and a corrupt police officer after he witnesses his dealer's boss murder a competitor while trying to serve papers on him.
Hey, "electric Avenue." I know, right? - Pineapple Express 00:10
Hey, "electric Avenue." I know, right?
Dr. Edgar Terrence? Yes. You have repeatedly refused to trim the monkey tree that spills onto your n - Pineapple Express 00:32
Dr. Edgar Terrence? Yes. You have repeatedly refused to trim...
I can't comeWhatWhy the fuck not DaleI just look I can't come okayI just I have a lot of stuff to do tomorrow It's just a bad day for meJesus Christ Dale When were you gonna tell me thatI'm telling you right now That's fucking ridiculousMy mom has been - Pineapple Express 00:25
I can't comeWhatWhy the fuck not DaleI just look I...
Oh come on don't say that I just can't go I have a job okayFine FineDon't come I don't careIf you don't care then why have you been inviting me I thought you wanted me to goBecause if you don't wanna meet them I don't want you to meet themI want to meet - Pineapple Express 00:29
Oh come on don't say that I just can't go I have a...
Clark Dude I wanted to tell youYou were hilarious today in drama classSeriously your Jeff goldblum impression made me pee my pantsAh I wish - Pineapple Express 00:10
Clark Dude I wanted to tell youYou were hilarious today in...
Yeah How's it going sporty spice - Pineapple Express 00:04
Yeah How's it going sporty spice
Time to suck today's dick That's what I'm talking about See you guys later - Pineapple Express 00:06
Time to suck today's dick That's what I'm...
All right Clark Clark's a great guy manHe's totally gonna take care of Angela manHe's great He's a wonderful lab partner so it's gonna be cool He'll keep an eye on herWhy don't you go fuck yourself you weird little prickI'm a teacher okay You can't talk - Pineapple Express 00:18
All right Clark Clark's a great guy manHe's...
I thought hurricane season was over - Pineapple Express 00:04
I thought hurricane season was over
Hello Hey manWhat the fuck manI didn't buzz you in How the monkey did you get in hereOh shit Some guy with a fauxhawk let me in man He was leaving when I wasFucking Kyle man It might have been KyleAsshole I'm sorry manWhat the fuck's the buzzer for - Pineapple Express 00:21
Hello Hey manWhat the fuck manI didn't buzz you in How...
You're very entertained Oh wow You got a cute picture tooSaul Oh yeah Me and my bubbeHey let me ask you somethingYeahDo you think you could pull the plug on someone if you needed toLike euthanasiaDale Like on herIf I needed toUmI'm kind of in a hurry manI - Pineapple Express 00:40
You're very entertained Oh wow You got a cute picture...
My friend this is like if that blue oyster shit met that Afghan kush I hadand they had a baby Yeah yeah yeahAnd then meanwhile that crazy northern lights stuff I hadand the super red especial snowflakemet and had a baby Oh that was the bombAnd by some - Pineapple Express 00:25
My friend this is like if that blue oyster shit met that...
Smell it OkaySmell it EnjoyIt's like god's vaginaWhat you wanna bathe in itI just wanna live in here Yes You wanna be itOh my god I just wanna shove it up my nose and have that smell all dayThat's amazing Shove it anywhere you likeIt's beautiful What's it - Pineapple Express 00:23
Smell it OkaySmell it EnjoyIt's like god's...
What the fuck is this thingAh Cross joint YeahYou ever smoke one of those You can smoke thisNo Hell yeah manThis is the futureThis is like the apex of the vortex ofjoint engineeringIt's rumored that m M O'shaughnessy designed the first oneThe guy who uh - Pineapple Express 00:49
What the fuck is this thingAh Cross joint YeahYou ever smoke...
What you do is you light all three ends at the same timeReally And then the smoke convergescreating a trifecta ofjoint smoking powerThis is it man This is what your grandchildren are gonna be smokingFuture The future - Pineapple Express 00:19
What you do is you light all three ends at the same...
Okay here's what you do WowYou equip yourself I'm equippingEquip me sir Okay Now - Pineapple Express 00:07
Okay here's what you do WowYou equip yourself I'm...
Aah! I'm gonna do it. - Pineapple Express 00:10
Aah! I'm gonna do it.
It's better to cough. - Pineapple Express 00:14
It's better to cough.
Oh, fuck. - Pineapple Express 00:07
Oh, fuck.
Who is it? - Pineapple Express 00:17
Who is it?