Speak! Speak! Speak!

Professor Eustace McGargle:
What will you have? Dog (Ventriloquism):
Milk as usual in a saucer. Professor Eustace McGargle:
He wants a little milk, he'll have it in a saucer. Stand up, Alcibiados. Dog (Ventriloquism):
Oh, my feet are sore. I've been walking all morning. Bartender:
What kind of a dog is he? Professor Eustace McGargle:
He's a cross between a Manchurian yak and an Australian dingo. Bartender:
Well, that's funny. There's some folks right down the road here got a dog exactly like him, but he can't talk. Professor Eustace McGargle:
Well, naturally, I've devoted a lot of time to this dog. Taught him everything he knows. Bartender:
Is he for sale? Professor Eustace McGargle:
Well, for a price. Bartender:
Well, I've give you twenty dollars for him. Professor Eustace McGargle:
I hate to sell him, but... [grabs money] Professor Eustace McGargle:
I'll let him go. This breaks my heart. I can't tell you. [wipes a fake tear from eye] Dog (Ventriloquism):
Just for selling me, I'll never speak another word as long as I live! Professor Eustace McGargle:
He's a stubborn little fellow. I'm afraid he'll keep his word. Bartender:
Speak! Speak! Speak!