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Porch Pirates

A trio of detectives race to catch a mischievous gang of porch pirates and recover the Mayor's prized Beanie Baby, all while juggling their own holiday chaos.

Director

Jeff Hamm

Year

Genre

comedy, crime, family

Box Office

N/A

Production

Ichthys Films,Pine Line Studios,Red Plaid Films

Awards

3 wins & 1 nomination

Homepage

https://porchpirates.mov/

Marcos Fernandez

Jack Tyler

Jay Dee Walters

Sticky

Ryan T. Johnson

Sally Jones

Bobby

Newscaster

Grace

Brooklyn Ray Davila

David

Fast Eddie

Izzy

Terry Higginbotham

Mayor Jim

Charley

Karen

Delivery Man

Maria Tyler

Candace Kirkpatrick

Emily

Barbara Laurean

Cowboy

Hunter

Ralph

Frank

Captain Logan

Sarah

Molly Peyton White

Becky

Kimberly Gail Williams

View All Cast

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Explore 439 Clips

(tires screeching) - Porch Pirates

(tires screeching)

(Jack grunting) - Porch Pirates

(Jack grunting)

(drone buzzing and whirring) - Porch Pirates

(drone buzzing and whirring)

- Well, you could help. (grunts) - Porch Pirates

- Well, you could help. (grunts)

(both grunting and struggling) - Porch Pirates

(both grunting and struggling)

(drone whizzing and beeping) - Porch Pirates

(drone whizzing and beeping)

(electricity zapping) - Porch Pirates

(electricity zapping)

(tires screeching) (bright upbeat music) - Porch Pirates

(tires screeching) (bright upbeat music)

(bright gentle music) - Porch Pirates

(bright gentle music)

(drone whizzing) - Porch Pirates

(drone whizzing)

(Marcos panting) - Porch Pirates

(Marcos panting)

- We're made. (device beeps) - Porch Pirates

- We're made. (device beeps)

But now the cops are onto us, - Porch Pirates

But now the cops are onto us,

- Look, why don't we just
lay low for a couple days and- - Porch Pirates

- Look, why don't we just lay low for a couple days and...

- Sticky's right. You guys
gotta lay low, all right? - Porch Pirates

- Sticky's right. You guys gotta lay low, all right?

(hand slams) (Bobby grunts) - Porch Pirates

(hand slams) (Bobby grunts)

(Jack yawns) - Porch Pirates

- Turns out we underestimated
the Porch Pirates. - Porch Pirates

- Turns out we underestimated the Porch Pirates.

- They had this drone, - Porch Pirates

- They had this drone,

- A drone? That's on the
top of Hunter's Christmas list. - Porch Pirates

- A drone? That's on the top of Hunter's Christmas...

On a positive note, - Porch Pirates

On a positive note,

- And they also carry
a limited edition bell - Porch Pirates

- And they also carry a limited edition bell

And since you're such
a last minute shopper, - Porch Pirates

And since you're such a last minute shopper,

(bright gentle music) (crowd chattering) - Porch Pirates

(bright gentle music) (crowd chattering)

Oh, and hey, maybe you can uh, fill 'em in - Porch Pirates

Oh, and hey, maybe you can uh, fill 'em in

- Appreciate it.
- Oh, and uh, Detective, - Porch Pirates

- Appreciate it. - Oh, and uh, Detective,

(bright upbeat music continues) - Porch Pirates

(bright upbeat music continues)

- (laughs) It must be a hoot working - Porch Pirates

- (laughs) It must be a hoot working

He's a bit of a
goofball, but I'll tell you, - Porch Pirates

He's a bit of a goofball, but I'll tell you,

- Well, you both have
made me feel at home here, - Porch Pirates

- Well, you both have made me feel at home here,

- Ah, (laughs) well, trust me. - Porch Pirates

- Ah, (laughs) well, trust me.

Being a female cop, I've had to deal - Porch Pirates

Being a female cop, I've had to deal

- Oh, uh, my family,
particularly my parents. - Porch Pirates

- Oh, uh, my family, particularly my parents.

My dad's had some health issues lately, - Porch Pirates

My dad's had some health issues lately,

And when I saw that Gregg
County had an opening, - Porch Pirates

And when I saw that Gregg County had an opening,

(glasses clinking) (bright upbeat music) - Porch Pirates

(glasses clinking) (bright upbeat music)

I, I didn't mean to pry.
Must be the detective in me. - Porch Pirates

I, I didn't mean to pry. Must be the detective in me.

I tell you, it took everything I had - Porch Pirates

I tell you, it took everything I had

(Sally laughs) - Porch Pirates

Those stockings went
up. They went up. (laughs) - Porch Pirates

Those stockings went up. They went up. (laughs)

(gentle wistful music) - Porch Pirates

(gentle wistful music)

- Oh, I, I poured myself
into the relationship, - Porch Pirates

- Oh, I, I poured myself into the relationship,

Yeah, one morning I woke up - Porch Pirates

Yeah, one morning I woke up

- Well, you know, I, I
ignored red flag after red flag. - Porch Pirates

- Well, you know, I, I ignored red flag after red flag.

And I even forgave him for cheating on me - Porch Pirates

And I even forgave him for cheating on me

(glasses clink) (gentle wistful music) - Porch Pirates

(glasses clink) (gentle wistful music)

(oil sizzling) - Porch Pirates

(utensils clanging) - Porch Pirates

(utensils clanging)

(keyboard clacking) - Porch Pirates

(keyboard clacking)

(gentle whimsical music) - Porch Pirates

(gentle whimsical music)

- Uh, I said, "You look gorgeous, woman." - Porch Pirates

- Uh, I said, "You look gorgeous, woman."

- Ooh, buenos dias. Morning. - Porch Pirates

- Ooh, buenos dias. Morning.

- I knew it. I knew I
detected a little office romance. - Porch Pirates

- I knew it. I knew I detected a little office romance.

- Now I don't know about all that, - Porch Pirates

- Now I don't know about all that,

- Well, if you ask me, - Porch Pirates

- Well, if you ask me,

- (laughs) That wasn't a coworker look - Porch Pirates

- (laughs) That wasn't a coworker look

She needs my approval if she's going - Porch Pirates

She needs my approval if she's going

(both laughing) (gentle whimsical music) - Porch Pirates

(both laughing) (gentle whimsical music)

Mr. Murphy, this is Detective Jones - Porch Pirates

Mr. Murphy, this is Detective Jones

- Were you aware that your neighbor
had some packages stolen from his home? - Porch Pirates

- Were you aware that your neighbor had some packages stolen...

- Yeah, well, I am calling
all the surrounding neighbors - Porch Pirates

- Yeah, well, I am calling all the surrounding neighbors

- I didn't see anything, but I do have one - Porch Pirates

- I didn't see anything, but I do have one

All I see is uh, some pizza delivery kid. - Porch Pirates

All I see is uh, some pizza delivery kid.

- Uh, and, and what's the,
what's the timestamp on that? - Porch Pirates

- Uh, and, and what's the, what's the timestamp on...

- Okay, yeah, it's uh, - Porch Pirates

- Okay, yeah, it's uh,

(email pings) - Porch Pirates

(door knocking) - Porch Pirates

(door knocking)

- Morning, Detective uh, Marcos. - Porch Pirates

- Morning, Detective uh, Marcos.

- Uh, yeah, I, I received
an email with a video - Porch Pirates

- Uh, yeah, I, I received an email with a video

Hey, Marcos, - Porch Pirates

- [Jack] Marcos, let's
shake, rattle, and roll. - Porch Pirates

- [Jack] Marcos, let's shake, rattle, and roll.

(Jack laughs) (traffic bustling) - Porch Pirates

(Jack laughs) (traffic bustling)

- I cannot believe that this guy bought - Porch Pirates

- I cannot believe that this guy bought

- No way. Nice job, babe. - Porch Pirates

- No way. Nice job, babe.

Uh, oh. (clears throat) - Porch Pirates

Uh, oh. (clears throat)

We was wondering if we could talk to one - Porch Pirates

We was wondering if we could talk to one

- Bobby, does this kid
look familiar to you? - Porch Pirates

- Bobby, does this kid look familiar to you?

- Uh, yeah, yeah, that's Sticky. - Porch Pirates

- Uh, yeah, yeah, that's Sticky.

- Uh, uh, you know, his parents named him - Porch Pirates

- Uh, uh, you know, his parents named him

- Well, this Kenny Rogers made a delivery - Porch Pirates

- Well, this Kenny Rogers made a delivery

- Yeah, I was hoping we
could ask him some questions, - Porch Pirates

- Yeah, I was hoping we could ask him some questions,

- Yeah. Uh, hey, Sarah, is
Sticky supposed to come in today? - Porch Pirates

- Yeah. Uh, hey, Sarah, is Sticky supposed to come in today?

- Uh, I'm not sure. Let me check. - Porch Pirates

- Uh, I'm not sure. Let me check.

- All right, when he comes in, - Porch Pirates

- All right, when he comes in,

(crowd chattering) - Porch Pirates

(crowd chattering)

Hey, maybe we should
put a tail out on Sticky, - Porch Pirates

Hey, maybe we should put a tail out on Sticky,

(gentle suspenseful music) - Porch Pirates

(gentle suspenseful music)

- Well, with a name like that, - Porch Pirates

- Well, with a name like that,

- Focus on the case. (laughs) - Porch Pirates

- Focus on the case. (laughs)

(phone dialing) (crowd chattering) - Porch Pirates

(phone dialing) (crowd chattering)

Porch Pirates poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

A trio of detectives race to catch a mischievous gang of porch pirates and recover the Mayor's prized Beanie Baby, all while juggling their own holiday chaos.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Jeff Hamm

Writer: Justin Chaffee, Jeff Hamm, Jay Dee Walters

Production: Ichthys Films,Pine Line Studios,Red Plaid Films

Genre: comedy, crime, family

Year: 2024

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 4.8

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 28 Nov 2024

Awards: 3 wins & 1 nomination

Homepage: https://porchpirates.mov/