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Steven Gold:
I've been coming down here for 18 months. 18 months! And I have not missed a night. I take the money that my father sends me and I pay for a shrink, and I buy groceries. Now I owe my shrink, and I'm behind in my rent. My roommate's a bastard - he's changed the locks in in my front door - I can't get in! He won't give me a key until I pay him. You wanna play games? I can play games! I can play games. I can play ventriloquist with my underwear. I can play darts while maintaining an erection. I can gargle dishwater and fart O Canada at the same time! I can play piano without being popular. I once had this dream - I was dancing on the streetcorner with a jackhammer up my ass - now that was either a sex dream or I need more fiber in my diet. If any of this is turning you on, just let me know
I've been coming down here for 18 months. 18 months! And I have not missed a night. I take the money that my father sends me and I pay for a shrink, and I buy groceries. Now I owe my shrink, and I'm behind in my rent. My roommate's a bastard - he's changed the locks in in my front door - I can't get in! He won't give me a key until I pay him. You wanna play games? I can play games! I can play games. I can play ventriloquist with my underwear. I can play darts while maintaining an erection. I can gargle dishwater and fart O Canada at the same time! I can play piano without being popular. I once had this dream - I was dancing on the streetcorner with a jackhammer up my ass - now that was either a sex dream or I need more fiber in my diet. If any of this is turning you on, just let me know
Full Transcript
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Lady I've been coming down here
00:00:03.753 --> 00:00:06.213
for 18 months 18 months
00:00:06.506 --> 00:00:08.257
and I have not missed a night
00:00:08.549 --> 00:00:09.174
I take the money that
00:00:09.467 --> 00:00:10.001
my father sends me
00:00:10.343 --> 00:00:11.385
and I pay for a shrink
00:00:11.678 --> 00:00:12.469
and I buy groceries
00:00:12.762 --> 00:00:13.887
Now I owe my shrink
00:00:14.018 --> 00:00:16.556
and I'm behind in my rent
00:00:16.849 --> 00:00:17.683
My roommate's a bastard
00:00:17.976 --> 00:00:19.001
He's changed the locks on my front door
00:00:19.352 --> 00:00:20.999
I can't get in
00:00:20.353 --> 00:00:22.001
He won't give me a key until I pay him
00:00:22.355 --> 00:00:24.273
You want to play games I can play games
00:00:24.565 --> 00:00:25.019
I can play games
00:00:25.483 --> 00:00:26.001
I can play ventriloquist
00:00:26.317 --> 00:00:27.234
with my underwear
00:00:27.527 --> 00:00:28.001
I can play darts
00:00:28.361 --> 00:00:29.861
while maintaining an erection
00:00:30.154 --> 00:00:30.696
I can gargle dishwater
00:00:30.989 --> 00:00:32.099
and fart O Canada at the same time
00:00:33.283 --> 00:00:33.782
I can play the piano
00:00:34.003 --> 00:00:35.325
without being popular
00:00:35.618 --> 00:00:36.159
I once had this dream
00:00:36.452 --> 00:00:37.016
I was dancing on a street corner
00:00:37.453 --> 00:00:38.203
with a jackhammer up my ass
00:00:38.496 --> 00:00:39.121
Now that's either a sex dream
00:00:39.414 --> 00:00:41.456
or I need more fiber in my diet
00:00:41.749 --> 00:00:42.374
If any of this is turning you on
00:00:42.667 --> 00:00:43.875
just let me know
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Movie Summary
A medical school dropout and a housewife/mom try to make it as stand-up comedians. They become friends and help each other out at an NYC comedy club.
