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Raising Buchanan

A desperate woman steals the corpse of former US president James Buchanan, hoping to net a large ransom. Complications arise when it seems no one is particularly interested in getting him back.

Director

Bruce Dellis

Year

Genre

Box Office

N/A

Production

N/A

Awards

13 wins & 5 nominations

Cast information not available.

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Thanks. I appreciate it. - Raising Buchanan

Thanks. I appreciate it.

If I'm not dying according to
their schedule - Raising Buchanan

If I'm not dying according to their schedule

Dr. Zeblisky, he
danced around it. - Raising Buchanan

Dr. Zeblisky, he danced around it.

But I got the impression they were thinking
of maybe kicking me out of this dump. - Raising Buchanan

But I got the impression they were thinking of maybe kicking...

Look, I don't want to talk about
it. I don't want to jinx it. - Raising Buchanan

Look, I don't want to talk about it. I don't want ...

So... how's work? - Raising Buchanan

So... how's work?

I never saw you making
more than minimum wage. - Raising Buchanan

I never saw you making more than minimum wage.

It's only been a month and
already he's bigger and stronger. - Raising Buchanan

It's only been a month and already he's bigger and...

And I hate to keep bringing it
up, - Raising Buchanan

And I hate to keep bringing it up,

Yes, Dad. Kyle will keep the Kiesling name.
We've already been through this. - Raising Buchanan

Yes, Dad. Kyle will keep the Kiesling name. We've alrea...

I know it's not important to you,
but it's a hell of a thing he's doing. - Raising Buchanan

I know it's not important to you, but it's a hell ...

And I'll be sure to tell him that when
I finally get a chance to meet him. - Raising Buchanan

And I'll be sure to tell him that when I finally get a ...

How you managed to land a guy
like that - Raising Buchanan

How you managed to land a guy like that

Lori's taking Jeffrey to her parents'
house in Iowa for a couple of weeks, - Raising Buchanan

Lori's taking Jeffrey to her parents' house in Iow...

I'm not crazy about it either, Ruth,
but this custody thing's all about her. - Raising Buchanan

I'm not crazy about it either, Ruth, but this custody t...

And you gotta admit this hospice thing has
been going on way longer than you told me. - Raising Buchanan

And you gotta admit this hospice thing has been going on way...

Hey, you want to get a
coffee or a cheese crisp? - Raising Buchanan

Hey, you want to get a coffee or a cheese crisp?

Small confrontation with a guy
driving too slow in the left lane. - Raising Buchanan

Small confrontation with a guy driving too slow in the left ...

How do you drive for thirty years and
not know the left lane is the fast lane? - Raising Buchanan

How do you drive for thirty years and not know the left lane...

The idea behind community service is
to provide a fair level of restitution. - Raising Buchanan

The idea behind community service is to provide a fair level...

Well, it's not like I robbed a bank,
or put someone in the hospital. - Raising Buchanan

Well, it's not like I robbed a bank, or put someone in ...

You play the cello off to the side
of a very strange ventriloquist. - Raising Buchanan

You play the cello off to the side of a very strange ventril...

Well, I choose the music, I
practice it, I perform it. - Raising Buchanan

Well, I choose the music, I practice it, I perform it.

I do my own goth makeup.
I bought a dress! - Raising Buchanan

I do my own goth makeup. I bought a dress!

I'm saying what if you played the cello at an
elder care facility or a homeless shelter. - Raising Buchanan

I'm saying what if you played the cello at an elder car...

You're off probation soon, so let's go
for some real community service, huh? - Raising Buchanan

You're off probation soon, so let's go for some re...

I'm just saying: - Raising Buchanan

I'm just saying:

Okay, then just tell the bank
that your dad's in hospice. - Raising Buchanan

Okay, then just tell the bank that your dad's in hospic...

That oughta buy you some time.
They wouldn't foreclose on a hospice guy. - Raising Buchanan

That oughta buy you some time. They wouldn't foreclose ...

Oh, Ruth I think you played
that hospice card way too soon. - Raising Buchanan

Oh, Ruth I think you played that hospice card way too soon.

I bet Gretchen has opened and closed this thing
about fifty times today, showing it off. - Raising Buchanan

I bet Gretchen has opened and closed this thing about fifty ...

Shouldn't he be in a refrigerator
or on ice or something? - Raising Buchanan

Shouldn't he be in a refrigerator or on ice or somethin...

The grizzled remains - Raising Buchanan

The grizzled remains

I hate to say it, but I don't think
I've even heard of James Buchanan. - Raising Buchanan

I hate to say it, but I don't think I've even hear...

There was the whole slavery issue.
You know, he was on the wrong side of that. - Raising Buchanan

There was the whole slavery issue. You know, he was on the w...

He was a career politician, spineless,
couldn't make tough decisions. - Raising Buchanan

He was a career politician, spineless, couldn't make to...

Oh! Historians refer to him as
a useless sack of crap. - Raising Buchanan

Oh! Historians refer to him as a useless sack of crap.

This is William Rufus King, Vice President
under some other president no one remembers. - Raising Buchanan

This is William Rufus King, Vice President under some other ...

Also, Buchanan's roommate
for thirteen years. - Raising Buchanan

Also, Buchanan's roommate for thirteen years.

Also a "bachelor." - Raising Buchanan

Also a "bachelor."

Well, this ghoul happens to be the most valuable
thing that's ever come through this dock. - Raising Buchanan

Well, this ghoul happens to be the most valuable thing that&...

At one point in time, this nauseating
bag of bones was running the country. - Raising Buchanan

At one point in time, this nauseating bag of bones was runni...

It's hard to imagine Abraham
Lincoln taking orders from this guy. - Raising Buchanan

It's hard to imagine Abraham Lincoln taking orders from...

Well, early on in his career,
Jimi Hendrix opened for The Monkees. - Raising Buchanan

Well, early on in his career, Jimi Hendrix opened for The Mo...

If the mood is broken then the
music serves no purpose. - Raising Buchanan

If the mood is broken then the music serves no purpose.

I mean, it's water, I washed them.
It's not urine or anything. - Raising Buchanan

I mean, it's water, I washed them. It's not urine ...

"Nice to meet you, my hands
aren't covered in urine?" - Raising Buchanan

"Nice to meet you, my hands aren't covered in urin...

You'll be observing tonight then, will
you, Meg? From a safe distance, yes. - Raising Buchanan

You'll be observing tonight then, will you, Meg? From a...

Anger is my traveling companion...
and sometimes I let him drive. - Raising Buchanan

Anger is my traveling companion... and sometimes I let him d...

It really is the sort of analog art form that
will remain long after the bombs are dropped. - Raising Buchanan

It really is the sort of analog art form that will remain lo...

Well, I know I could never do a
puppet show like you do. - Raising Buchanan

Well, I know I could never do a puppet show like you do.

But I like those little dummies.
And their little suits, very smart. - Raising Buchanan

But I like those little dummies. And their little suits, ver...

It's pretty sad when the happiest
part of that conversation - Raising Buchanan

It's pretty sad when the happiest part of that conversa...

You know how people talk
about motivation, - Raising Buchanan

You know how people talk about motivation,

Sure, the famous "Carrot-and-Stick
Horse Wagon Theorem." - Raising Buchanan

Sure, the famous "Carrot-and-Stick Horse Wagon Theorem....

Well, for as long as I can
remember, - Raising Buchanan

Well, for as long as I can remember,

But I think I might have
finally gotten hold of a carrot. - Raising Buchanan

But I think I might have finally gotten hold of a carrot.

I know how we can get my dad's mortgage
back up to date, pay off all our bills, - Raising Buchanan

I know how we can get my dad's mortgage back up to date...

I know the media tends to sugarcoat
those things to make them sound more fun - Raising Buchanan

I know the media tends to sugarcoat those things to make the...

- Why?
- Because we have three things on our side: - Raising Buchanan

- Why? - Because we have three things on our side:

It uses the flowing water to
turn the big paddle-wheel, - Raising Buchanan

It uses the flowing water to turn the big paddle-wheel,

Besides, you said you were planning
to become more unpredictable. - Raising Buchanan

Besides, you said you were planning to become more unpredict...

I'm in a corner here, Meg.
My options ran out a few months ago. - Raising Buchanan

I'm in a corner here, Meg. My options ran out a few mon...

This isn't some half-assed adventure here.
I'm trying to survive. - Raising Buchanan

This isn't some half-assed adventure here. I'm try...

So, Jillian, do you think this
bikini top is too small on me? - Raising Buchanan

So, Jillian, do you think this bikini top is too small on me...

No, I saw some big boxes in
there and some bubble wrap. - Raising Buchanan

No, I saw some big boxes in there and some bubble wrap.

I told you: I'm gonna email the
ransom note to the government. - Raising Buchanan

I told you: I'm gonna email the ransom note to the gove...

Some lady in New Jersey owns Napoleon's
penis, and she says that she... - Raising Buchanan

Some lady in New Jersey owns Napoleon's penis, and she ...

Wait! Why the hell does some lady
in New Jersey own Napoleon's penis? - Raising Buchanan

Wait! Why the hell does some lady in New Jersey own Napoleon...

No, it's "one inch long and resembles a
maltreated strip of buckskin shoelace." - Raising Buchanan

No, it's "one inch long and resembles a maltreated...

Nobody refuses that kind of money
for a historical buckskin penis - Raising Buchanan

Nobody refuses that kind of money for a historical buckskin ...

If my father leaves me a
shriveled dork in his will, - Raising Buchanan

If my father leaves me a shriveled dork in his will,

I'll grant you that it might not be kidnapping
but it's probably theft and burglary. - Raising Buchanan

I'll grant you that it might not be kidnapping but it&#...

Well, you take the moisture out of a
guy and he's just a pile of sticks. - Raising Buchanan

Well, you take the moisture out of a guy and he's just ...

I want them to get it right before
they get the call from Pennsylvania - Raising Buchanan

I want them to get it right before they get the call from Pe...

Uhh... He's gonna need more
than just "sick." - Raising Buchanan

Uhh... He's gonna need more than just "sick."

That way, if he questions it, he's gonna
have a harassment suit on his hands. - Raising Buchanan

That way, if he questions it, he's gonna have a harassm...

"Vaginal pneumonia." - Raising Buchanan

"Vaginal pneumonia."

You say slavery is "a great
moral evil" - Raising Buchanan

You say slavery is "a great moral evil"

And I cannot vouch for the
author's impartiality. - Raising Buchanan

And I cannot vouch for the author's impartiality.

If you would prefer a more
enlightened account of these events, - Raising Buchanan

If you would prefer a more enlightened account of these even...

Mr. Buchanan's Administration
on the Eve of Rebellion? - Raising Buchanan

Mr. Buchanan's Administration on the Eve of Rebellion?

You've made an enormous
mistake, Miss Kiesling. - Raising Buchanan

You've made an enormous mistake, Miss Kiesling.

You will spend a significant portion of your
remaining years in a federal penitentiary. - Raising Buchanan

You will spend a significant portion of your remaining years...

For you, madam, are a
shiftless reprobate. - Raising Buchanan

For you, madam, are a shiftless reprobate.

Well, to criticize me, - Raising Buchanan

Well, to criticize me,

And to me, all endeavors, - Raising Buchanan

And to me, all endeavors,

For all endeavors there
is but one master. - Raising Buchanan

For all endeavors there is but one master.

I acknowledge no master
but the law. - Raising Buchanan

I acknowledge no master but the law.

Well, yes, but you're
missing the point. - Raising Buchanan

Well, yes, but you're missing the point.

Raising Buchanan poster

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

A desperate woman steals the corpse of former US president James Buchanan, hoping to net a large ransom. Complications arise when it seems no one is particularly interested in getting him back.

User Rating: 0.0 (0 ratings)

Director: Bruce Dellis

Writer: Bruce Dellis

Production: N/A

Genre: comedy

Year: 2019

MetaScore: N/A/100

ImdbRating: 5.4

BoxOffice: N/A

Released: 12 Apr 2019

Awards: 13 wins & 5 nominations

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