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As I understand the protocol of a kidnapping
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Raising Buchanan

As I understand the protocol ofa kidnapping, the basis for a ransom or the collateralis...

As I understand the protocol of
a kidnapping, the basis for a ransom or the collateral
is the life of the person being kidnapped

Full Transcript

00:00:01.000 --> 00:00:03.535
As I understand the protocol of a kidnapping,
00:00:03.057 --> 00:00:07.004
the basis for a ransom or the collateral is the life of the person being kidnapped.
Duration
7 seconds
Views
20
Timestamp in Movie
00:36:17
Uploaded
Jun 14, 2025
Genres
comedy
Production
N/A

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Movie Summary

A desperate woman steals the corpse of former US president James Buchanan, hoping to net a large ransom. Complications arise when it seems no one is particularly interested in getting him back.
A kidnapped victim with no life has no leverage. You understand my point, Mr. X? - Raising Buchanan 00:05
A kidnapped victim with no life has no leverage. You underst...
You understand that this is a former president we're talking about, right? - Raising Buchanan 00:04
You understand that this is a former president we're ta...
A quick call to Woodland Mill Cemetery this morning - Raising Buchanan 00:07
A quick call to Woodland Mill Cemetery this morning
This is not Abraham Lincoln or Teddy Roosevelt or even Millard G.D. Fillmore. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
This is not Abraham Lincoln or Teddy Roosevelt or even Milla...
So, in the future, if you are going to claim to have dug up a president, - Raising Buchanan 00:05
So, in the future, if you are going to claim to have dug up ...
Um... can I talk to your manager or... - Raising Buchanan 00:05
Um... can I talk to your manager or...
Might I make a suggestion, Mr. X? Kidnapping is a very serious federal offense. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
Might I make a suggestion, Mr. X? Kidnapping is a very serio...
I don't think you're going to be sweating the grave-robbing charge - Raising Buchanan 00:06
I don't think you're going to be sweating the grav...
It would be wise to drop this now. - Raising Buchanan 00:07
It would be wise to drop this now.
Then you have a wonderful day, Mr. X, and you try to make some better decisions. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
Then you have a wonderful day, Mr. X, and you try to make so...
Plan B. The rich lady who brought him here in the first place! - Raising Buchanan 00:05
Plan B. The rich lady who brought him here in the first plac...
Then I'll be home in my own damn bed. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
Then I'll be home in my own damn bed.
That's amazing. The tests all came out clean? - Raising Buchanan 00:04
That's amazing. The tests all came out clean?
Don't eat that shit, Ruthie! That stuff is so bad for you. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
Don't eat that shit, Ruthie! That stuff is so bad for y...
You know that Meg and Holly are living with me now. - Raising Buchanan 00:04
You know that Meg and Holly are living with me now.
But we gotta keep all this hush-hush, though. - Raising Buchanan 00:05
But we gotta keep all this hush-hush, though.
Zeblisky said if the hospice people got wind of this, - Raising Buchanan 00:08
Zeblisky said if the hospice people got wind of this,
No no more dogs. I've had the time to think about that here. - Raising Buchanan 00:06
No no more dogs. I've had the time to think about that ...
See, a dog would eat you if he could figure out you were made of meat. - Raising Buchanan 00:06
See, a dog would eat you if he could figure out you were mad...
So thank God they're morons. - Raising Buchanan 00:06
So thank God they're morons.